I get the ick really, really easily

[IckabodCrane]

I’ve been on a couple of dates with someone, he does actually seem nice but I’ve got the ick already and I feel like something is wrong with me 😢

Reasons why…

• he booked a restaurant for a date in a weeks time and asked me what I was going to have (we have time to decide!) and said it looked really “yummy”

• overuse of emojis in messages - random wink faces and sticky out tongue faces

• Weird passive aggressive behaviour - I jokingly mocked one of his food choices (after he had done the same to me so not completely out there cruel) and he then said my suggested food choice at the restaurant sounded “a bit boring”

• said our town wasn’t very nice as there were lots of beggars - not a word I’m comfortable with

just not really feeling it tbh! Otherwise, the dates have been good, he seems nice, he can be funny, we have stuff in common, we find each other attractive… am I being way too picky and horrible?

key context is that I have been single for a long time (through choice I guess / not really looking?) but know I’ll be ok by myself ultimately so think I’m quick to shut things down.

You had me at Yummy. Dump him.

Trust the ick.

The shaking you and saying 'listen, you need to listen' is a massive red flag. Get rid. Also, physically, I keep imagining he looks like that awful possessive George from Married at First Site (current season)

Please run OP that's not just the ick, your later posts are grim

So fussy

I'd probably have to go on the date to see if he's real. If he is I'd probably just give him food for thought.
It's unbelievable.

I could forgive yummy and emojis but the later examples sound worse and he sounds extremely irritating. I wouldn't call that easily icked.

There is nothing wrong with you!

That 'ick' feeling is your instincts telling you something. Listen to them and move on.

Remember, one 'ick' is one too many.

You can do much better.

The worst emoji is 😂 by a mile. Only used by arseholes.

And I work in housing and 'too many beggars' would make me get the ick too. So mean, dismissive and heartless.

Ewww

Finished one of our dates with a kebab and I was going to buy him a Fanta, he refused as he needed the loo and grimaced as he said it

^

As he said 'loo''??

What?

Just kind of dithered over the decision and then grimaced and said “better not as I really need the loo” and grimaced again. I felt like I was encouraging my toddler son to use his potty

Is this a joke?

No not a joke, why?

I reckon he sounds like he’s got a touch of Rik Mayall about him and I don’t mean than in a good way.

Does he make lame jokes and then look at you smiling in a hopefully expectant way?

He does sound icky.

the only time i have ever heard the word ick used was from teenage girls in highschool

He sounds a bit thick.

Brilliant, great contribution

Haha I say yummy and occasionally throw in a 😋 when chatting… I’m doomed!!!

seriously though, there’s no coming back from the ick. You don’t owe anyone a relationship and it’s ok to say no.

Bleurgh.

He’s not for you.

The grabbing arms thing...just no. That would have had me walking away.

I think the first two are good examples of the ick in action (that is they're fairly superficial things). The third is a red flag and the fourth suggest your values don't align, so there's an incompatibility. If you're back in the dating game after a while out I think it's important to know the difference!