It's a long story and something that's stayed with me for over 10 years. I want opinions on if this can be cheating...
In 2010, I went to a nightclub with my wife and best friend. We were all tipsy as we arrived but not blind drunk; we all knew what we were doing and could chat and dance perfectly fine.
About an hour in, my wife and friend went to buy drinks at the bar. It was busy so I wasn't surprised it took them a while to return but did wonder if they'd got chatting and didn't return as quick as they could. Anyway, I noticed how much wife was flirtatiously dancing around my friend and knew she still fancied him (when we first met, she said he was a good looking guy), but I trusted my wife and seen her like that with both sexes over the years prior so it didn't really bother me. We then go outside for a break and my wife looks at my friend and says "Go on then, ask." He was sheepish but said "Can we kiss?" I was a bit shocked but, being drunk, I was indifferent to it and hadn't really given thought about the consequences. I said casually something like "Go on then."
I watch my wife and friend kiss on the lips for less than a second. I was expecting more seeing as they made a big deal over it and reactively said "Is that it? Come on use tongues!"
So I then watch 5 to 10 seconds of kissing with tongues, my wife turning her head as they kiss, fully committed. I initially get turned on but then reality kicks in so I said "OK. OK. OK. Enough now. STOP." A second or two later and they do. My friend looks at her and goes "Ooh" as if to say he really enjoyed that. My wife blurts out "My f*nny twitched. And I could feel your erection on my thigh as we kissed." These words from my wife actually hurt me. And I showed my annoyance.
I walked away and she followed sheepishly and tried to reason with me and apologise (I think). It took me a good hour or so to come to terms with it but let the night continue til 6am where we'd danced a lot and were in good spirits. My mate had disappeared for a couple of hours after what happened as he obviously felt guilty and in harms way.
Despite my clear annoyance or uncomfortable stance earlier in the night, my wife obviously wanted my friend to be with us and said "You're coming home with us." I should have said a firm no, straight away but I didn't. I needed to think it through while walking to the train. The reason I hesitated was maybe I should let it play out to test my wife's committed to our marriage (she never showed any signs of straying before). When I saw my wife rest her head on my friends shoulders on the underground station while waiting for a train, I knew my feelings and sobered up completely so I said "P, sorry but you can't come home with us." He was totally fine, acknowledged it with a gesture and didn't say anything.
After all these years, I have moments where this tears me up. I've had reassurances from my wife in the past but I have suspicions something more might have happened in the blur of that night.
What do you think?