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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Husband Cheated - What Should I do?

107 replies

Energetictriangle123 · 24/09/2022 20:45

I found out today, via finding emails, that my husband cheated with another women for 10 months (ending earlier this year). He told her that he wasn't married and was telling her about their future, then ghosted her. We have been happily married for 5 years.

I've always said that, if I was cheated on, I would split, but I still love him. Has anyone been through anything similar? What did you do? Would I be hanging onto a failed marraige?

OP posts:

Jimbobdibob · 22/09/2024 21:30

Absolutely great post.

So good to hear how well you are doing.
Second Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life
((U))

Bumblebeestiltskin · 22/09/2024 21:45

Fantastic update! (Though you're a couple of decades from a midlife crisis)

NQOCDarling · 22/09/2024 21:47

0live · 24/09/2022 21:06

What did I do? I stayed and forgave him. I helped him sort out the mess that was created by his affair ( it was a subordinate at work and there were disciplinary issues ).

I was understanding and supportive when he told me how let down and betrayed he felt by his affair partner and how he needed to grieve.

I read books and arranged marriage counselling for us. I sat quietly for weeks listening to him and the counsellor chat about his childhood / work / life and why it wasn’t his fault he had an affair . And why I just needed to accept that he was sorry and get over it already.

I waited patiently and hoped that we could rebuild our marriage for the sake of our children . I didn’t tell any of my friends and family as he didn’t want me to and I didn’t want then to think badly of him.

My husband stayed angry at both me and the affair partner for letting him down. He didn’t remotely appreciate all my love, patience and understanding and he continued to treat me like shit and neglect our children.

Then he went out and cheated with some else and now finally I’m divorcing him. I wasted 5 years of my life in an unhappy marriage.

Dont be me.

That was a tough read, but I doubt as much as it was to live through.
How dare he?
All best wishes for your moving forward

NewYearNewName2024 · 22/09/2024 21:51

@Energetictriangle123 brilliant update, you're fantastic and it sounds like you're living a wonderful life!

mcmooberry · 22/09/2024 22:01

Thank you for the heartening update and well done for not being stuck in the same situation 2 years down the line!

0live · 25/09/2024 15:51

Well done OP, as they say, the best revenge is living well!

Theonlywayisup1 · 03/10/2024 03:02

Excellent update 👏

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