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Original poster

New partner behaviour is a bit odd now - do I run?

100 replies

londonismyx · 21/09/2022 22:08

I've been seeing this man for about 6 months.

In the last 2 months, we've done a bit of harmless role play. I had never done anything like it before - yawn, I was a nurse! Him a doctor (he really is a doctor, I'm not a nurse).

Next time I was asked to be a lawyer. Strange request. No outfit required. I was asked to pretend he was my 'client'

Tonight he asked me to call him Fred, I made a joke and said 'as in Fred West?'. Very very weird. He said 'maybe Wink'

I pretended then that I was unwell with my monthly's. He seemed a bit put out. I made my excuses and left

Now, he never actually asked anything direct or sinister but I just get a horrible feeling. Would you make a run for it or give him another shot?

He seems nice otherwise. Stable career. Feel a bit bad if I dump him!! And then don't even have a proper reason

OP posts:
Mischance · 21/09/2022 22:09

Harmless role play my Aunt Fanny .... head for the door.

Chdjdn · 21/09/2022 22:10

It’s not so much what he’s done but that it sounds like your gut instinct is chiming in and you should always listen to that

Quitelikeit · 21/09/2022 22:10

Hmmm I really wouldn’t like this but I guess some people do

i mean Fred West?!?!

im wondering if he was testing the waters with the first two but that he’s a bit more weird and sick

Dotcheck · 21/09/2022 22:11

I would be so curious about what he meant. I think it’s worth asking

Feathersandothers · 21/09/2022 22:11

But why did you say Fred west?
maybe he meant Fred off Corrie , or Fred Astaire? 🤷‍♀️

Aquamarine1029 · 21/09/2022 22:11

You don't need any reason to dump someone. You don't have to justify anything.

Original poster
londonismyx · 21/09/2022 22:12

Chdjdn · 21/09/2022 22:10

It’s not so much what he’s done but that it sounds like your gut instinct is chiming in and you should always listen to that

He's so good looking. Nice person it seems, generous. Charming. Funny. Good job

But something is screaming at me to run and tonight when he smiled at me, my belly flipped

But I'm probably just paranoid and being silly! I haven't dated in 5/6 years

OP posts:
Chattycathydoll · 21/09/2022 22:12

Maybe he said that thinking it was YOUR thing for Fred West and he felt he had to humour you as he asked to roleplay first…

CassandraBarrett · 21/09/2022 22:12

Why stay with someone who gives you a horrible feeling?
If someone on the bus sitting beside you gave you a horrible feeling you'd move seats.
No need to keep seeing him. You don't need a good reason or any reason to say "this is not working for me"

Original poster
londonismyx · 21/09/2022 22:13

Feathersandothers · 21/09/2022 22:11

But why did you say Fred west?
maybe he meant Fred off Corrie , or Fred Astaire? 🤷‍♀️

I said this as he's really interested in true crime stuff and talks about it quite a bit. So does my sister though

OP posts:
Newusernameaug · 21/09/2022 22:13

Listen to your gut!!!

CassandraBarrett · 21/09/2022 22:14

Hmm I read your update. This is not a man you want to be around. Follow your instincts

Rainbowqueeen · 21/09/2022 22:15

If your gut is screaming at you then listen to it.

Id be out the door too.

Can I suggest you read The Gift of Fear if you feel the need to justify yourself - but you don’t. Feeling uncomfortable is a valid reason to end a relationship

alexdgr8 · 21/09/2022 22:17

go now, and don't look back.
and in future only keep company with respectable people.
don't trifle with this kind of unsavory set up.
don't waste yourself, or lower your standards. good luck.

Pinktoothbrushesarefab · 21/09/2022 22:17

Wait until he asks you to call him 'Albert' (as in 'Pierrepoint'- not Tatlock) then you get the Hell out of there....

MissMaple82 · 21/09/2022 22:18

The whole thing is weird, not just the Fred West.. a Dr wanting to role play a Dr is a sexual way concerns me

Blahblablahblahblah · 21/09/2022 22:18

Listen to your instincts.

Always4Brenner · 21/09/2022 22:20

MissMaple82 · 21/09/2022 22:18

The whole thing is weird, not just the Fred West.. a Dr wanting to role play a Dr is a sexual way concerns me

Yes I thought that hypocratic oath exuse spelling. Weird very. If you’re gut is telling you something is of then run.

LadyWithLapdog · 21/09/2022 22:21

Something’s not quite right. Give yourself time to think and run.

Idunnowhyibother · 21/09/2022 22:21

A quick Google on what Fred West actually did and the pure torture he inflicted would have you running for the hills at the point of him saying Maybe...
Plus your gut telling you....sixth sense is really there for a reason and yours has just given you a massive kick! Dump, block and breathe a sigh of relief as something nasty passes you by.

altmember · 21/09/2022 22:24

I think you might be over reacting at him asking to be called Fred. He is a dr so can't be anything that sinister. When he asks you to call him Harold (as in Shipman), then that would probably be a good time to get out!

Summertimesunshineandfizz · 21/09/2022 22:25

Trust your instincts. And I don’t think any decent person would not have reacted with horror rather than agreeing‘Maybe’.

saltofcelery · 21/09/2022 22:25

Have you read The Gift of Fear? That will tell you why you got out of there and why it was the right thing to do. Likely there are things you noticed or picked up on that will come back to you.

Glad you're ok.

Pixiedust1234 · 21/09/2022 22:27

If your stomach flipped then heed that warning. You werent uneasy or uncomfortable, it was more than that.

I wonder if he was going to ask about choking at some point and your spidery senses sort of picked this up before he verbalised it. Or has he already asked, then came the fred west comment?

Twillow · 21/09/2022 22:28

Instinct is a powerful gift.