New partner behaviour is a bit odd now - do I run?

[londonismyx]

I've been seeing this man for about 6 months.

In the last 2 months, we've done a bit of harmless role play. I had never done anything like it before - yawn, I was a nurse! Him a doctor (he really is a doctor, I'm not a nurse).

Next time I was asked to be a lawyer. Strange request. No outfit required. I was asked to pretend he was my 'client'

Tonight he asked me to call him Fred, I made a joke and said 'as in Fred West?'. Very very weird. He said 'maybe '

I pretended then that I was unwell with my monthly's. He seemed a bit put out. I made my excuses and left

Now, he never actually asked anything direct or sinister but I just get a horrible feeling. Would you make a run for it or give him another shot?

He seems nice otherwise. Stable career. Feel a bit bad if I dump him!! And then don't even have a proper reason

I'd trust my gut on this one. After listening to a "my favourite murder" recently where they covered the Wests (I didn't know much about them previously as was young when it happened), I'd be very ick at having someone "maybe" to your question. If your gut is telling you something, I would trust it. Many many many people are attractive and normal appearing, doesn't mean they are. This could be completely innocent/a misunderstanding, but I'd be wary

Lots of people enjoy true crime (I do too) and it was you that mentioned Fred West not him. So I don’t really see why this in particular is a red flag, although more generally, I couldn’t be doing well with all this role playing.

@londonismyx

For starters, you don’t need to have a reason to break up. You can just tell him you aren’t feeling happy.

But if you like everything else about him, I’d at least try ab adult conversation with him.
He seems to like role playing in the bedroom. Nothing wrong with that in itself. However - I do think that these things need to be discussed and talked about. Introducing something that is a bit of a ‘kink’ into a relationship needs to be something both people want to do by choice. Especially since it’s not something you are used to. And there needs to be some sort of ground rules - how often, what kind or roles, etc.

Horrible feeling is an overreaction, but you do need to talk to him, in my opinion.

After 6 months, if your feelings are no stronger than feeling a bit bad about dumping him, then it might be time to move on anyway. You are getting feelings about something being "off", and you don't feel able to talk to him about it (or you wouldn't be here telling us). These things are more than enough to justify breaking it off.
Although, having said that, you never need to justify ending a relationship. If it isn't making you happy, that should be enough.

If this is true, when you asked if he meant Fred as in west , why would you have to pretend to be on your “monthlies” ? Just the fact you didn’t feel comfortable to say erm no thanks that’s very wierd and creepy says it all for me.

I'd be off. The only acceptable reaction to someone saying 'Fred West?' is total revulsion. Grim

RUUUUUN, Seriously, value yourself and your instincts. I'm another one who finds the escalating role play very murky and unattractive.

THIS. Move on!

This, plus always trust your gut!

Follow your instincts.

Except that, as the OP was the one who suggested Fred West, perhaps he was a bit WTF?? amd didn't know what to say 🤷🏻‍♀️

I love how his reaction to it was wrong but her saying it in the first place was ok..

I dunno about the role play but if your gut says you are in danger - you are in danger!

Don't continue to date people when their mask has slipped. Don't second guess yourself. You did see that look on his face and you did feel threat. Absolutely time to run.

This.
What a weird person to think of during role play 🤔

Perhaps it was just your reaction to how uneasy you were feeling during the situation, but I wouldn't read too much in to his reaction. Very odd.

A doctor that likes roleplaying doctors and nurses though? Hmm....

Sounds like he watches a lot of porn which in itself is offputting.
So he's a doctor. They aren't magical beings with the ethics of a saint, in fact on the whole quite the opposite.

No thank you.

Trust your gut, if it’s wrong, worst case scenario the relationship doesn’t go any further. Ignore your gut and if your wrong, the worst case scenario could be far, far worse. It’s not worth the risk.

He is clearly a serial killer and probably already has 3 or 4 bodies stashed under his floorboards. Did you notice any strange smells OP?

This is mad. He said a perfectly normal name, and you asked if he was referring to a violent serial killer. I'm guessing he said "maybe" because he was shocked, and maybe a bit frightened.
I'm amazed that you immediately thought of Fred West. He's not the one waving the red flag here OP...

She probably said it because she picked up on his intention though. Sometimes you know damn fine who and what people mean, just by knowing them or by gut instinct in the moment.

I mean, he is the true crime fan not her so I doubt Fred west would have just randomly entered her head. She knew that was who he meant.

Run. The fact that you feel this uncomfortable is all the reason you need.

You mentioned Fred West not him.
Why didn't you ask "Fred who?" when he said you should call him Fred?

Anyway, you were already finding the role play a bit strange and you said "yawn" in your sentence about the doctor and nurse role play so it's obviously not doing anything for you.

And you can dump anyone for whatever reason you like. You don't have to have a reason. "It doesn't work for me" is quite enough.
Trust your gut.

YOU were the one who brought up Fred West, not him. Think he should be running for the hills instead!

Maybe he meant Fred Flinstone. No, not creepy at all.

nothing wrong with a bit of role play. Plus you’re the one who suggested Fred west. But I’m a firm believer in trusting your instincts. If he’s creeping you out then listen to yourself and end things.

Feel a bit bad if I dump him!!

you’d feel worse if he’s a nut job, surely that’s enough

You don't need to stay with anyone you don't want to OP and it's always a good idea to trust your instincts.

However, the Fred West situation is hard to judge without context. I can imagine both sides being uncomfortable there! I agree that he may have just been shocked / not actually heard you / not clicked who Fred West is.