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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

New partner behaviour is a bit odd now - do I run?

100 replies

londonismyx · 21/09/2022 22:08

I've been seeing this man for about 6 months.

In the last 2 months, we've done a bit of harmless role play. I had never done anything like it before - yawn, I was a nurse! Him a doctor (he really is a doctor, I'm not a nurse).

Next time I was asked to be a lawyer. Strange request. No outfit required. I was asked to pretend he was my 'client'

Tonight he asked me to call him Fred, I made a joke and said 'as in Fred West?'. Very very weird. He said 'maybe Wink'

I pretended then that I was unwell with my monthly's. He seemed a bit put out. I made my excuses and left

Now, he never actually asked anything direct or sinister but I just get a horrible feeling. Would you make a run for it or give him another shot?

He seems nice otherwise. Stable career. Feel a bit bad if I dump him!! And then don't even have a proper reason

OP posts:
Ahf22 · 21/09/2022 22:32

But something is screaming at me to run and tonight when he smiled at me, my belly flipped

ugh just leave him to it, listen to and trust your own instinct. Be careful out there.

SomeFuckingWizardry · 21/09/2022 22:33

"Now, he never actually asked anything direct or sinister but I just get a horrible feeling*."
*
Trust your gut!

allboysherebutme · 21/09/2022 22:34

Run like the wind.
Text say it's not for you. X

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 21/09/2022 22:37

altmember · 21/09/2022 22:24

I think you might be over reacting at him asking to be called Fred. He is a dr so can't be anything that sinister. When he asks you to call him Harold (as in Shipman), then that would probably be a good time to get out!

Harold Shipman's real name was Harold Frederick Shipman and his friends and family called him Fred Grin

OnTheBrinkOfChange · 21/09/2022 22:40

I still can't look at Dominic West after he played Fred West on TV. Someone wanting to do that as a sick fantasy would be out of my life immediately.

nocoolnamesleft · 21/09/2022 22:40

An actual doctor who wants to play doctors and nurses? I bet at work he's one of the sleazy handsy ones with no respect for female colleagues. Yuk.

Feathersandothers · 21/09/2022 22:40

Oooh then yeah, run fast and far

SNWannabe · 21/09/2022 22:42

Trust your gut. Run!

Redorblues · 21/09/2022 22:43

Patrick Bateman vibes by the sound of your description

Idontdoyoga · 21/09/2022 22:44

Your gut is your second brain.
Trust your gut!
Step right away from this weirdo.

Sooverthisnow · 21/09/2022 22:45

Sounds like you’re being groomed for something…

Penguinsaregreat · 21/09/2022 22:45

Run away now.

GreenManalishi · 21/09/2022 22:46

MissMaple82 · 21/09/2022 22:18

The whole thing is weird, not just the Fred West.. a Dr wanting to role play a Dr is a sexual way concerns me

This! Surely the idea of role play is not a doctor being a doctor, that's dead odd.

Luredbyapomegranate · 21/09/2022 22:50

A doctor wanting to play doctors and nurses would be enough for me..

Always trust your gut.

🏃‍♀️

Automaticforthepeople · 21/09/2022 23:19

I would say trust your gut instinct. It's there for a reason. Protect yourself.

DatingDinosaur · 21/09/2022 23:21

"But something is screaming at me to run and tonight when he smiled at me, my belly flipped"

I'm guessing not in a good way. Trust your instincts. Don't question them or stick around to see if they are wrong.

EmmaH2022 · 21/09/2022 23:23

altmember · 21/09/2022 22:24

I think you might be over reacting at him asking to be called Fred. He is a dr so can't be anything that sinister. When he asks you to call him Harold (as in Shipman), then that would probably be a good time to get out!

Are you for real? Being a doc is no proof against being a weirdo.

OP listen to your gut.

Pumpkinsnearlyready · 21/09/2022 23:25

Me thinks he is planning a new patio op. Leg it while you can..

BadNomad · 21/09/2022 23:29

I wonder if he's on Dadsnet right now asking if it's creepy that his new partner wanted him to be Fred West during role-play.

foxlover47 · 21/09/2022 23:32

@Redorblues exactly what I thought !

Weemummykay · 21/09/2022 23:33

EmmaH2022 · 21/09/2022 23:23

Are you for real? Being a doc is no proof against being a weirdo.

OP listen to your gut.

@EmmaH2022 exactly what I was thinking. Look what happened to that poor Sarah Everard women. Just because u have a good profession does not mean you are a good person.

Jaffacats · 21/09/2022 23:39

Sooverthisnow · 21/09/2022 22:45

Sounds like you’re being groomed for something…

This! And it seemed like a test. He obviously likes being in charge.

EmmaH2022 · 21/09/2022 23:40

Weemummykay · 21/09/2022 23:33

@EmmaH2022 exactly what I was thinking. Look what happened to that poor Sarah Everard women. Just because u have a good profession does not mean you are a good person.

And docs are often in trouble for things...when me and my sis were preteen, my mum had an absolute rule about never leaving us alone with a male doctor. I presume now it's not an issue, but she said in those days, the doc would often say to her "you can wait outside".

Grumpypants78 · 22/09/2022 00:08

londonismyx · 21/09/2022 22:12

He's so good looking. Nice person it seems, generous. Charming. Funny. Good job

But something is screaming at me to run and tonight when he smiled at me, my belly flipped

But I'm probably just paranoid and being silly! I haven't dated in 5/6 years

You're never just paranoid, stop minimising your feelings. You have gut instincts for a reason, to keep you safe, so listen. Well done for getting out, now don't go back.

OhMondayMonday · 22/09/2022 00:11

Instincts. Every time. Go with them