Does your DH make your life easier?

[MentionItAll]

Just that really, would you say your DH/DP whatever made your life easier? Do you expect them to?
Or do you think you would you find everything easier to manage without them around? And in what way?

No. And it took me embarrassingly long to realise that he actually made it harder.

Me and the kids are so much happier and healthier with him gone.

Yes, much easier. He's practical, good at some things I'm not, unflappable in a crisis, has worked very hard and earned the lion's share of the money while I was part-time while the children were younger, is supportive of my career now I've gone back full time, has slways been good with the dc, did plenty at home even when he was working longer hours than me. Oh and he's a fantastic cook.

@Theforkistootall your post was alarmingly familiar, my DH is like that.

He's a very high earner and I think he uses that as an excuse for being completely lacking in common sense at home. He will flail about the kitchen asking what's for lunch, clashing about, instead of just making some scrambled eggs. Never in a million years would be put his used dishes in the dishwasher and this is no exaggeration he was never wiped down a surface in his life.

Until recently I was working full time but because in his words I was earning an insignificant anoint of money he still demanded I do ironing for him etc - I refused.

He will never ever cook an evening meal and hasn't in over a decade. He says he doesn't expect me to cook every day but he won't and if I don't want to cook to order a takeaway. When we were discussing having a second child and he desperately wanted one he said he would pay for all the help I needed but he wouldn't do anything to help personally. Needless to say I'm not pregnant! His answer is to throw money at everything and not lift a finger at home.

From when we first got together 8 years ago to even just tonight dh makes my life infinitely easier. I make his life easier as well. Like PPs we are a team and form a great partnership.

I am very jealous of the some of teams on her. I don’t know if I will ever try another significant relationship - right now I can’t imagine it, but never say never - but if so, well, there’s something to aim at.

His nice big cuddles certainly help...

Yes and no, but the yes outweighs the no.

Yes. He's currently working away for a few months and life is immeasurably harder without him around. He does the laundry, cleans up after eating, anything car/garden/bin related, half the school runs. Mostly it's just having that person to chat with at the end of the day which mentally helps me decompress.

Absolutely he does make my life easier.
He supports us all so well, financially, emotionally and practically. He appreciates what I do for the family as well.

Mine absolutely does. I'd like to think I make his easier too. We have very different personalities and we have opposite strengths so I think we balance each other nicely (neither of us are morning people though!)

Yes, since we had our dcs. Before that, no, as his job meant we had to move around all the time and that was not easier than my previous life at all! He is great with dcs though and does his fair share. If we split, I'd be knackered (and sad obviously)

Yes absolutely for school runs and anything child related.
Some stuff is 'harder' but it's just the reality of living with another adult and not being able to do my own thing 100% of tje time - considering what he wants for dinner or what to do at a weekend.
He is good company so on balance I think I'll let him stay 😊

Yes he did. Being on my own now is very much harder than when he was in my life, we were a good, strong team and I miss him. Lots.

Yes, I know the feeling unfortunately.

DP absolutely one hundred percent yes, makes my life easier in so many ways I had never even considered.

EXH made each day a trial, the sheer energy expended in dealing with him was just exhausting. Being a single parent was so much easier than being married.There was not a split second where I'd have gone back. Yes there was less money, but what there was was mine rather than having to negotiate it with EXH. There were also no expectations, and I did things or they didn't get done, there was no disappointment.

He makes my life funnier..ridiculous after 25 years but we always get the snorts and giggles

we share stuff but I do more as I don’t want to work through choice as we have three teens that I have chosen to be emotionally available to without being exhausted, stopped 6 months ago as a combination of menopause/alevels/puberty as be working in SEN education was going to push me over the edge

I’m adopted myself at 9 so maybe have a skewed version but we all seem to be happy

Yes he does. He works away 1 or 2 nights a week and they’re by far my hardest days.
He does all of the cooking and does 50% of the childcare when he’s at home (we both work, he earns more). He’s excellent with our disabled child and will play with him for hours, and will always be on top of his therapies/appointments.
He sends me for a rest/break when he can see I need one. Life would be much harder without him.

Mine makes my life so much better. He has always earned more than me and has never belittled me or made me feel like it’s “his money”. He is the most hands on dad and he goes out of his way to make me happy; it’s the little things like bringing me tea when I’m working for hours on end or doing the school run when it’s my turn to give me an hour to sleep.
I honestly don’t think it’s worth being with someone who doesn’t make your life better.

Yes definitely.

Yes and no. The nicest and most generous person. Works hard in a job which helps others. Does school runs/lunches/after school stuff as I am out early and do quite long hours as a teacher.

But....anything more than this needs directing. If I leave a lost or ask it gets done, with some nagging and management. But I don't want to have to ask, leave instructions or lists because that's what I do every day at work. And it don't want to do it to a 40-odd year old grown up.

Mental load is very much mine too.

I am exhausted and feel like I am cracking up at the moment as work is very full on, as is his.

Yes-we work as a team
we have ‘our’ jobs-I do the washing,he puts the bins out but other than that we share the chores
ill cook so he deals with the dishwasher or I’ll sort the dishwasher out while he hoovers etc
We both work and we both pull our weight-I may do a tad more with the mental load but I’m happy enough to do it-he has mental load in what bills need paying and when-I’ve never read the electric metre (if he dropped down dead tomorrow-I ran my own home for years-I’ve just never done it in this house)

i lived with a man child who left me to do everything as it wasn’t his turn-ever-and I lost all respect for him-he was a cocklodger who would game all night and sleep all day-but I’d be up in the night with our children,do the school run,go to work,pick kids up,cook dinner,make a start on the evening routine,put kids to bed and flop into bed myself
hed be amazed I wasn’t up for sex when he wanted it as I was too knackered-last I heard,he hadn’t changed and some other poor sucker is now doing it all for him

Honestly, No. I think he makes life harder for himself and me.

How did you work through those things?

Yep. Supports and treats us. Always present at home if I need help- doesn’t shut himself in his office pretending to be busy. Still does half the housework and cooking despite me being a SAHM, sometimes more than half. Has baby solo most days so I can exercise and see friends.

he’s a dream

Thank you for your kind thought. I know what I need to do but am just crap at following through. I feel like I have no say in my own life but I do have a supportive sister ready to come over. Thank you once again.