Men who are "Open to children"

[Sundaycoffee]

I want children and I'm in my thirties. On online dating sites I have been talking to men who state they are "open" to children.
I'm worried about wasting precious time with people whose priorities aren't aligned with mine and tend to meet only people who say they know they want kids.
I was talking to a nice man (41) that said "I am open to children but I will be honest I am not in a hurry". I bid him good day and went on my way.
My sister said she thought I was silly to not even meet him. That he might decide in a few months time that he is crazy about me and would be up for going down that route. She also says you have no idea what he means by "not in a hurry" and that he might mean he doesn't want to start in the next 6 months and I should at least meet him.
To me I feel like its a potential to fall for someone, be strung along for a bit and then evidently the relationship end because he's still not sure. Especially considering he's saying this at 41!
What do you think?

I think autopilot 23 is very different to autopilot at 41! Most people are autopilot in their early-mid twenties about most things in life - school, maybe uni, job, house, marriage, kids. But at 40, you've thrown the script out, and it's a more thought out decision as you have a very established life you need to fit not just another person into, but also kids. There's a reason so many women end up with men who don't pull their weight at home once kids come along - because they think having kids is being a Disney dad, not realising you also have to with on the partnership.

*work on the partnership

I always understood 'open to children' to mean they didn't mind if someone already had children, but I guess it depends on the drop down options on a particular dating site.

I don't think there's anything wrong with saying very early on, in first 3 dates, "I think I should mention that if I meet the right person, part of them being the right person for me is that they would want to start a family together within the next couple of years."

Better to be upfront and I think people prefer upfrontness rather than guessing games. Saves everybody wasting their time.

People's feelings can change in regards to children. When I met my fiance 9 years ago he did not want children and neither did I, but I was 26 at the time and he was 12 years older. He changed his mind though (at 46!) and I was ready too and we are expecting our first next month. He now says he would like 3!

However, I think at 35 it would be wise to stick to the ones they know they would like children. You never know how your fertility/pregnancy journey will be and I wouldn't be wasting time if that's important for you (It wasn't easy for me).

Since op has stated that she wouldn't consider being a solo parent by choice and use a sperm donor she is effectively leaving her fertility and parenthood in the hands of someone else and that person being ready at the right time...and also assuming she nor he don't have any fertility issues. It's a lot of of unknowns and as pp said you don't know what your fertility is until you try.

You sound desperate.
You are are not willing to even meet a man (like spend a grand total of two hours) without him confirming he wants DC. It's not like you are the prime minister of the universe and can't spend a few dates (a total of 15 hours) with a man to get to know him. It will turn off genuine guys.

Dating is about getting to know people. You need to play your cards a bit closer to your chest. Your desperation will attract tonnes of love bombers and weirdos who will string you along dump you after three months.

Men are going to be very cautious if they think you want them as a “sire” for your children, it sounds like a recipe for a quick relationship breakdown and a lot of heartache.
Being a single parent by whatever means with no relationship hassles sounds infinitely preferable.