Everytime we argue he threatens to break up ...

[aalleyb]

We live together and been together 18 months.
He has depression but refuses to take medication.
If I disagree with him or have a different opinion than him he threatens to break up
"I'm just gonna go"
"I'm so done"
So then I apologise so he doesn't.

Today I'm sorting the cats food out and one of them knocks it off the bench all over the floor I've just cleaned.
So I get annoyed
So he comes in "well why you annoyed for I've had enough,I'm done"

So me being annoyed at the cat makes him "done"
I'm walking on eggshells
Scared to have a different opinion
Scared to make him mad incase he goes

I'm sick of it
Why is he doing this?
Why can't we just disagree or have little arguments without him saying "he's done"
Last week I wanted to go for food,got ready etc and he didn't.
So I said "ok fine"
Then he says "your annoyed aren't you? Shall we have a couple of days apart"
I say no I'm not annoyed and he says great ...
Then that was forgot about

Could you get in first next time you're annoyed and be 'done' before him?

Let him leave, why would you want to stay
with someone you have to walk on egg shells around? If you want to have kids why would you have them with him?

He’s training you not to argue with him.
Get out.
Who diagnosed depression? Sounds more like he’s a nasty piece of work.

I wish I could put this more eloquently but any advice you get will boil down to: run awaaaaaaay!

You need to leave. He isn’t doing anything about his MH, so it will never get better.

Leave this will wear you down if you stay. If he won’t take his meds you’ll end up worrying all the time. Hugs

He does it because he’s a manipulative wanker op. Help him pack next time he says it, and don’t let him back.

Just leave, it won't get any better.

It’s control. It shuts you down and cancels out the issue.

Honestly, leave. Aside from his manipulation, arguing about such little things is a sign of much bigger issues and he doesn’t have the maturity to work through them.

Agreed he’s training you not to argue…. It’s been 18 months and this man child can’t communicate like an adult. Next time he says it say sure and hand him a suitcase! Back yourself worth you don’t deserve to be treated like this at home 💕💕

Let him go.

Get out. Hes abusing you.

Next time he threatens say okay, bye and give me your key.

My ex used to threaten this, for years I avoided getting into a disagreement, then I realised I didn't want to live like that any more, so I left. He really couldn't understand why I was leaving; I felt as if a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders.

practicalities: your house, his house or both names?

I used to do this. I genuinely felt like every argument was the end. I had therapy and it came from my parents relationship, I grew up in a very volatile marriage. I am still happily with my now husband and don't do it any more. Now when we argue I know we are a team and even though I am angry we will be OK in the end. I'm lucky DH stuck with me, I had to do a lot of work on myself.

Ditch him, this is emotional abuse.

Do you really want to spend the rest of your life tiptoeing around someone who is supposed to love you but keeps threatening you this way?

My house (well I rent )
My name on tenancy
He was talking about marriage and kids
He hates (his words ) that I'm opinionated
I can't help myself I have to say what I think -and he doesn't like it
I feel like I can't have a voice now,I do love him but I'm scared incase I argue and it pushes him over the edge

Why are you living like this? Break up with this horrid man.

And please don’t come back and till us that ‘it’s not that easy’ and ‘but I love him’. Just no.

He hates that you have an opinion? Read that again OP.

Cross post. I knew ‘but I love him’ was coming.

And we can’t have women having too many opinions! Heaven forfend!

Push him over the edge. The edge of your property. With his stuff.

This is emotional blackmail at best.

My replies are short because my battery is at 1% but as soon as I get a charger you’re getting an essay!

Sit him down and calmly tell him that next time he says he's done, then the relationship is over. No coming back.

I was, years ago, married to a man who did exactly the same. The smallest disagreement would set him off.
“We need to divorce” was his mantra. “Fck off and find yourself somewhere else to live” was his other mantra. “You should join a convent” he would shout at me!

I didn’t like the defensive woman I was turning into so In the end i left & never looked back. I was worn down after years of it.

He was gobsmacked when I got myself a mortgage & kicked him into touch.

He’s dead now and I didn’t mourn.

@Idontdoyoga your last line says it all really doesn’t it?

But, isn't it great that he wants to go?!?
Good. Do that then. Everyone is happier then.