Men who think their opinion is the definitive one

[mintywinter]

I'm on OLD just now but what I've noticed is that there seem to be quite a few men who act like their opinion on something is the authority. I don't want to agree on everything or argue about things, but I do want an equal partner who realises we might both have an opinion on things. Just wondering if anyone else had encountered this really. It could be that it's men of a certain age (late 40s/early to mid 50s) It's really off-putting.

Must say more about millions of women then huh
who’s experiences of men reflect exactly that !

all the women who for Millenia have been dealing with men who believe they are the authorities and much smarter than women to make all decision …. To run countries and businesses

hell. Well only been ‘allowed’ to vote for a minuscule amount of time historically
instead of telling women to meet better men how bout telling men to BE better men

Not all of us have the luxury of choosing a perfect workplace, family, etc. 🤨

Basically, it's wholly unrealistic to think you can avoid arseholes forever.

It could be that it's men of a certain age (late 40s/early to mid 50s) It's really off-putting.

Yes, I work with one if these who in the past week has claimed everyone is having their basic human rights eroded. Examples provided we're having to smoke 10m from hospital entrances (should be allowed right by the entrance) & restrictions on hecklers\protestors at abortion clinics. They should be allowed unlimited freedom😐.

However younger males are equally guilty of willy waving and can be so technically wrong but so adamant they are right.

@Fbunny hell. Well only been ‘allowed’ to vote for a minuscule amount of time historically

Not forgetting that the 1918 Representation of the People act also covered the approximately 40% of men who were also previously disenfranchised.
Just, you know, fyi.

Victim mentality. You can walk away from pretty much every arsehole you meet, if you choose to. If it's your father, cut him out of your life. If it's your boss, get a new job. If it's your mate's boyfriend, avoid him.

It's almost as if you don't feel you have control of who you spend your time with.

how bout telling men to BE better men

Because such is the sense of entitlement from possessing a penis they believe they are already the best there is. Occasionally they come packaged up as a decent human being but at the core they are the better person.

Unfortunately it is so ingrained in society that many women also think the same.

Yes true , considering that white men historically have held the vast majority of power and many would say, still do
however This thread is referring to the ways in which men speak over and assume they know more than women … I’m hard pushed to think of any societies where women havnt been seen as second to men , including those where men were disenfranchised

Agree totally with @HailAdrian

sure you can walk away from people but you’re literally surrounded by asshole men are who will often hide their true feelings and attitudes towards women

you can’t know who your kids teachers are your taxi driver , your neighbour , your dr ….not UNTIL they do something by which stage you’ve been unable to avoid that situation from happening
when these instances repeatedly happen they add up !

You've hit the nail in the head. It is a battle, and its a constant one until you either shut up or agree. Watch keys is providing the evidence of this wonderfully.

And to add I’m not saying all men are assholes , just that you simply have no way of telling until the damage is done … so no it can’t be avoided

@Palmfrond

also wanted to add that it’s really helpful to see that there are men who are noticing the ‘fact battles ‘ who are not engaging in that and are prepared to call it out

Ugh DH is like this. Last month:

Garage at MOT: car engine needs XYZ work.
DH: No, it doesn’t need that doing.
Me: But car is making a weird noise.
DH: It’s fine.
Me: <gets work done anyway>
Me: DH, the car sounds better now!
DH: <long suffering sigh> That part of the engine doesn’t affect how the car sounds, it won’t have made a difference.
….
DH: Hey the car drives loads better now! Sounds quieter too.

Men suck sometimes. Yesterday I was driving up a narrow road newr my house, I had right of way. A car pulled to the side to let me pass, as is usual at that spot. As I drove past he opened his window to scream at me for not pulling over. I guess he figured being a man trumps the right of way rules 🤷‍♀️

Watch keys is providing the evidence of this wonderfully

How, @Pixiedust1234

?

It's a matter of experience. The fact that I haven't had the same experience as you proves that there are other ways that can be found. Whether you choose to find them or not is up to you, but you can't claim that 'there's no way around this'.

I'm not engaging with you, you think you are right and everybody is wrong.

Got to laugh 😆🙄

So you claim youre more experienced rather than maybe your been lucky or maybe you havnt known the true nature of many of the men you’ve met
I’m a grandmother who has had a very diverse and full life with plenty of experiences and people I’ve met and can assure you I’ve met many types of people . I could just as easily claim that seeing the reality behind the mask is a matter of experience with many men .

do you think you never have dealings with men who go home and watch violent porn ? You never interacted with any man who harrassed teenage girls or sexually harrassed women at work or out . I’d say that’s pretty naive considering that data and statistics on how many women are experiencing those things says otherwise

Sure you might ‘personally avoid their behaviours but you’re not avoiding those men
not unless you think 80percentnof women who’d been sexually harrassed are lying or only 5 percent of men who you magically can detect are harrassing all those women

@Fbunny

The fact that you're a grandmother with a vast wealth of life experience doesn't mean that other people haven't had other experiences. 'I'm a granny, so I can assure you, youngster, that...' is a very thin way to base an argument. We've all been around a lot and met lots of people. You're not 'wisdom', and nor am I.

The rest of your post is putting words into my mouth, and so, not worth responding to. No point defending myself against things I haven't, and wouldn't, say.

Sure you might ‘personally avoid their behaviours but you’re not avoiding those men
not unless you think 80percentnof women who’d been sexually harrassed are lying or only 5 percent of men who you magically can detect are harrassing all those women

Does this make sense? The veracity of 80% of women who have been sexually harassed proves that I've met lots of men who harass? How? Can you explain a little further?

I'm not claiming to have never met shit men.

I didn’t claim I knew more than anyone watch let’s simply that I have had life experience so your argument of me not having experience simply doesn’t hold up . Everybody has wisdom to add !!! You could simply have said it’s not your personal experience

Youre getting very defensive and don’t want to respond to the actual important questions I asked about the true nature of these men you say you avoid because of your experience . I can understand why , because it’s simply very obvious when those questions are out to you that you’re very wrong in saying they can be avoided

Perhaps you can consider that may be why someone made the earlier point .

I’ll leave it there in terms of our conversation as I certainly don’t think either of us will gain anything from it .

I blame their mothers for raising them to be like this.

Your claim was that you avoid these men . Statistically it’s unlikely you havnt come across any . You wouldn’t even know necessarily how they behaved in those situations
so how can you claim they can be avoided ?

Lol omg of course … always the womens fault huh

Why don’t you blame the fathers ?

Unfortunately I think it’s how most men are hard wired; investigate, compartmentalise, categorise, assess, and then hold these findings as gospel because otherwise the monkey tribe will disintegrate and be eaten/starve.
While I like to think I’m somewhat self aware/self critical, I am unfortunately no better (see my last post/fact bomb re 1918 representation act for confirmation). Can’t help myself.