Men who think their opinion is the definitive one

[mintywinter]

I'm on OLD just now but what I've noticed is that there seem to be quite a few men who act like their opinion on something is the authority. I don't want to agree on everything or argue about things, but I do want an equal partner who realises we might both have an opinion on things. Just wondering if anyone else had encountered this really. It could be that it's men of a certain age (late 40s/early to mid 50s) It's really off-putting.

I was just thinking about this today. Men will blather on about anything like they're an expert in every topic; insisting that their opinions are so important that everyone must hear it.

Sometimes I just feel like saying will you for once just stfu!

I think the answer is to make girls and women more confident.

yes confidence is a trait seen more commonly in men but it’s not a character flaw. If women pushed themselves forward at the same rate then there would be more women in senior positions.

I see women in work become so resentful when less capable men get promoted - but in some cases the capable women didn’t even apply. We need to think about how to boost women.

How old are you op 40’s?
If so I’m just surprised that you got to that age without noticing that the vast majority of men are like that.

If so I’m just surprised that you got to that age without noticing that the vast majority of men are like that

Fair point. I think I never used to notice it as much, but haven't dated in a few years and now it all seems far clearer, maybe as I've got more independent myself.

They're not. The ones you've met might be, but not everyone has had the same experience as you. You're world isn't universal to everyone. There's a bog difference between 'many' and 'the vast majority'. It's not hard to find men who aren't like this.

A man telling women their lived experiences arnt real. Plenty of women coming here to day this is exactly what they experience but of course some dude had to step in with ‘ not all men ‘

There’s a certain irony in that😂

Thankfully I am the boss and regularly mentor and give work advice to women.

I made all the mistakes when younger because deference and not making waves is so ingrained.
Women and girls are often punished for it.

I see women wait patiently for their hard work to be noticed, only apply for jobs where they meet 100% of the requirements, waste time with dead end jobs and companies with hopes of a promotion raise that will never happen there.

I really should write a book, do tiktok or YouTube about this topic and disperse the wisdom I've acquired before I retire.

The exact type who needs to not add their 2 pence and just sit down and stfu.

They just can't help themselves it seems!

That’s laughable when your referring to a man who feels it’s ironic that women don’t sit down and stfu
With all the mysogynistic spaces online it’s so interesting that so many men find the need to get in NM and correct women about their actual lived experiences experiences - speaks volumes
I think men are just very afraid because they know plenty of women see straight through them and value their own judgement over mens despite living in a world that for centuries has held mens opinions as having more weight

youre right , menz just can’t help themselves

I'm not a man. Nor am I telling anybody that their experience isn't real. My point is that I can't tell you that your experience isn't real, because it's yours. What I'm saying is that my experience isn't the same as yours, which is why I said that your experience isn't universal, rather than telling you that you didn't have that experience. You can't tell me that my experience isn't real either. I haven't had the same experience of men as you have, clearly. I understand that the majority of the men you've met were disrespectful. Try to understand that the majority of men I've met haven't been. The circles you mix in aren't the same as the circles everyone else mixes in.

We all have different experiences.

Me too. My daughter is a 21 year old student and notices that most of the men in her class are just like this. Her subject has a lot of female lecturers and some of the male students actually try to argue with or talk over them ( especially one lecturer who is Asian, petite and soft spoken ).

BTW I don’t mean asking questions or challenging ideas in an appropriate way.

The men will also refer to the female staff by their first name and the male staff by their title and surname . As in “ Who’s your supervisor ? I’ve got Jane Smith. Oh I have Dr [John] Jones “.

Most of them also talk over / talk down to the female students ( who are the majority ) a great deal of the time. They are about 20% of the class but take 50% of the air time.

Men talking to other men is quite often a very tedious “fact battle”, or knowledge battle or opinion battle. Or even better, advice battle! I love those. If they’re not particularly well socialised with women (which is common enough but possibly even more common amongst single middle aged men on OLD), they’ll be unable to code switch. And that’s on top of existing misogynistic cultural trends that position women as receptacles/blank canvases, physical and psychological.

And for the record, yes I am a man and that is my big opinion. Huge (Trump voice).
Over & out.

*Men talking to other men is quite often a very tedious “fact battle”, or knowledge battle or opinion battle. Or even better, advice battle! I love those. If they’re not particularly well socialised with women (which is common enough but possibly even more common amongst single middle aged men on OLD), they’ll be unable to code switch

I found this very interesting, thanks. Hadn't ever thought of it like that.

For once I am interested and agree with a man's opinion on MN. Had to happen one day I guess

This. ^ Despite the little head tilting comments from a few saying NAMALT. Yes they bastard are. Men are all the same... They ALL think they know it all, they think they're better than us women, they think they're cleverer than us, they think know waaaay more than us, they think they are never wrong, and they think their shit don't stink. They think they're better drivers, and some of them even think they can cook better than women - even though many don't ever cook.

That BRILLIANT Pam Ayres sketch could have written by me about my husband if I was as talented as her ... That's him to a T. Thinks he knows everything about everything, and can do anything and everything better than anyone else.

He thinks that HE could solve the world's problems in a split second given a chance. (Much better than all those overpaid MPs.) He even says quite often, (seriously with a straight face,) that he could solve climate change and world hunger and the problems with droughts over the planet, if he was given the power and the funds to do it. He actually believes it.

Men are hilariously full of their own self importance, but not ONE man I know is as talented, or clever, or funny as he thinks he is. Not one.

Men are hilariously full of their own self importance, but not ONE man I know is as talented, or clever, or funny as he thinks he is. Not one.

I think this says more about you and you're social circle.

Yeah, basically every man I know.

Yes they bastard are. Men are all the same

Sounds like a balanced sort of comment...

but not ONE man I know is as talented, or clever, or funny as he thinks he is

If you hang around a dog fighting ring, you'll think all dogs are vicious. There's a world out there that's different from your experience.

It's ironic that there are people claiming to know what all men are like, and what men are like is that they think they know everything. You don't know everything about men. If you claim to, you are being like a man who claims to know everything about women.

Then meet better men.

I don't feel the need to meet men, thanks. :)

'I tried exercise and I don't like it', when all you've done is lose once at the 100m, and refuse to try tennis, bouldering, pole vaulting, weight lifting, swimming...

I'm sorry you've met rubbish men. Other options are available, whether you want to alter your experience or not.

You seem to be thinking about meeting men in a 'romantic' context. They're everywhere, you know.

Oh, I know full well.

My daughter even gave me a father's Day card:

"Dad, when I grow up I want to be as funny as you think you are".

That was funny and way better than my rubbish dad jokes.

No, I'm not. I wasn't thinking about relationships, I was thinking about social circles/workplaces/family etc. They really are everywhere, so it's about making sure you spend time in places where there are decent people, rather than simply concentrating on love life, which you seem to be, otherwise I'm not sure why you'd make that assumption about what I said.

I just left my H and one of the reasons was that he always had to be right. For example, I said I'd noticed some dried ear wax outside our 7-8 month old DD's ear and wondered if she had excess earwax. When I got home from work, he said he'd done some 'research' and found that babies don't produce earwax so it must've been food or something. There was no point in arguing as he said he'd done his research and he would accuse me of accusing him of lying or of him being stupid. I looked online myself and found what he said was BS and that babies do produce earwax but it's perfectly normal.

It was/is VERY frustrating!