TMI (Sorry) he can't orgasm

[OnTheGoAlways]

It's getting to me more than I feel it should. We're very early days, we've slept together a few times, and to me it's great, and he says it is for him. We get on very well and all the right feelings are there. We have discussed it, but he doesn't know why it's not happening. Everything else is great, but I've never been through this before.

All I'm asking really is, has anyone else been through similar? Did it eventually resolve itself and how did you feel?

Death grip. Porn. Being overweight. Drinking too much.

My ex never came once in the 5 years we were together, and we had A LOT of sex. His explanation was it was because once, 30+ years previously hed urinated as he came so had "trained his mind' not to.

He also had issues maintaining an erection after about 5 minutes, but he'd keep trying, then stop "for a rest".

The only time he nearly got there was when we tried anal but he stopped.

He was obsessed with porn, had a massive beer belly, probably caused by the 5 bottles of beer and tot of whiskey he'd have every night without fail.

No concerns about unwanted pregnancies. But this is just one of a list of things I couldn't fathom out about him.

He should lay-off the porn and masturbation (if he is still doing this).
Over a period of time - porn eventually desensitises and re-programmes mens brains to get off to unrealistic images.

In the end, these men need massive amounts of dopamine to get excited enough to cum - which is difficult to achieve through normal sex.

I'm going to change my mind on this after the further posts OP and say you should let this one go. He's annoyed, and defeated, and you're still thinking that this is a defect with you and crotchless knickers are the key.

I don't think you've got the communications skills or hold compatible beliefs about sex between you to sort this out.

It's really normal to have some kind of sexual issue crop up during the course of a relationship, especially at the start, whether that be for the male or the female. How you're able to communicate and resolve it and move forward is a good indicator of the strength of the relationship.

He prefers porn to sex, and can't ejaculate over a real woman. This is going to crush your self esteem, it's absolutely not worth it.

You're better than this, as cliched as it sounds. Why should you have to compete with porn, and feel jealous? It's impossible for a start, he can watch any woman doing anything he likes in an instant and orgasm, there's no incentive to change.

There are other women that don't have to, it's not fair on you.

My last sentence: other women that don't have to put up with this.

Ugh I had an ex like this, I stuck it out for 9 dreadful bedroom months. Too much tugging on his own working offshore for 6 weeks at a time!!

Wrong, a man coined the term.p, but keep blaming those silly little women 🙄
www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a27044367/death-grip-masturbation/

Maybe, just maybe it’s because men and women are different.

When a male masturbates (by hand) too much and too hard, and desensitives themselves to the point where normal PIV is not stimulating enough to get them hard/ make them cum.

Has it been an issue in other relationships? My husband has this. It's nothing to do with death grip, porn or health issues or me, I am super hot lol, but his penis. He basically needs it circumcising. Could it be that? It's commonish.

And on top of the issue above mentioned where men get accostomed to the hand grip there’s also a big problem with a lot of men who use porn needing it to get off
they spend so much time wanking to 20yr olds that when they are with their 50 or 59 yr old wives it just doesn’t do it for them
or they get so used to the extreme hardcore porn acts that ‘normal sex ‘ as you put it in an earlier post just doesn’t excite them

That should say 40 or 50 yr old wives … but of course anything they deem as not meeting their porn ‘ standards ‘