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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Cheating partner

104 replies

Olivasand · 05/09/2022 23:34

I have just found out this evening that my fiance has cheated on me. I did ask him before this but he denied it. I have had my suspicions for a while and have just seen the texts sent confirming my fears.He doesn't yet know that I know. I have her number but don't know how to approach this. I feel heartbroken.
Any advice would be appreciated.

OP posts:
Original poster
Olivasand · 07/09/2022 20:39

drinkfeck · 07/09/2022 20:32

What do you miss?

He wasn't affectionate. He lied. He cheated.

Do you not think you will be happier without that in your life?

I'm just trying to help. We've all been there. But I think deep down you know he's a shit. So what keeps you hanging?

A lot of people have a fear of abandonment or of being alone. Could it be this? Or a feeling you're not worth anything better?

I again encourage the counselling. To help you unpick this.

I obviously loved him, I devoted myself to him. I never messaged any other males whom I had previously known. But he did. We did holidays together, all within one year. I had some lovely times. I knew in my bones he was up to something. He excuses his messages to this woman on being drunk. But he clearly said that he wanted her. I am heartbroken.

OP posts:
Original poster
Olivasand · 07/09/2022 20:45

Sandra1984 · 07/09/2022 20:39

After this looser is gone I know you’ll find a man who is kind, treats you with respect and gives you lots of hugs. (He’s out there waiting for you to get rid of this looser). Every time you feel like taking back this jerk you’re pushing mr nice guy away. The sooner you go no contact the sooner you will heal and be ready for a healthy relationship.Think of the good things waiting ahead.

Show quote history

It's just so painful. I miss him just being around. Someone who might just show me affection and want me. I think the worse he is to me, the more I think I should back down.

OP posts:
Original poster
Olivasand · 07/09/2022 21:01

I want to message her to find out when they were last together.. Its killing me

OP posts:
sagalooshoe · 07/09/2022 22:12

Tempting as it is, with all your emotions racing, don't contact her and don't go back to him.

This is where you need all your strength. He will hurt you again and even more harshly next time. Quit while you're ahead.

If I did it so can you. It will get easier.

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