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Original poster

Cheating partner

104 replies

Olivasand · 05/09/2022 23:34

I have just found out this evening that my fiance has cheated on me. I did ask him before this but he denied it. I have had my suspicions for a while and have just seen the texts sent confirming my fears.He doesn't yet know that I know. I have her number but don't know how to approach this. I feel heartbroken.
Any advice would be appreciated.

OP posts:
TheOriginalClownfish · 06/09/2022 14:37

You will heal. Remember that.

I remember feeling exactly the way you do and with a very similar man. I look back now and thank my lucky stars I got out when I did. But at the time I was broken and raw and in a state of disbelief. But I got back better and stronger than ever - and you will too.

There is nothing to be gained knowing details for you. You know everything you need to know, which is that he cheated. Any details will confuse and hurt you or even make you feel responsible even though you aren't. All you need to know is that he crossed the line and you are done.

Original poster
Olivasand · 06/09/2022 18:24

Thank you all for your messages.. It has been an extremely stressful day. I confronted him this morning, and he denied it.. He said he asked her if he could send her messages to wind me up, so he could prove I look at his phone. Does anyone believe that??

OP posts:
Newusernameaug · 06/09/2022 18:28

No - absolute bollocks! Sorry but he’s lying to you

cantthinkofabetterusername · 06/09/2022 18:36

He's talking shit!
Dump, get rid. He's an abusive cheating arsehole. Tell him you want him out tonight, if he doesn't go or gets aggressive call the police.

Bananaman123 · 06/09/2022 18:41

Unfortunately I’ve found once a cheater always a cheater and you are better off without him. You will get over this without him and feel so much better once he’s gone

OrangesandApplesplease · 06/09/2022 18:42

He is gone.

ShandaLear · 06/09/2022 18:47

That’s the shittest excuse I’ve ever heard. OP, please bin him. You sound lovely and far too good for a dickhead like this man. He does not love you. Even if this excuse were true it’s a shitty horrible thing to do to someone you are supposed to love. My DP would never in a million years want to hurt me like that. It’s almost like he wants to cause you pain. It’s horrible to read that someone is treating you so badly. x

ShandaLear · 06/09/2022 18:48

Sorry - cross post. I’m glad he is gone. I’m sure you are devastated but you will recover in time and I hope meet someone worthy of you.

RobertJohnsonsShoes · 06/09/2022 18:50

You know he's lying. And even if he's not... what a weird thing to do.

You deserve to be loved.

dane8 · 06/09/2022 18:56

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
Olivasand · 06/09/2022 19:12

cantthinkofabetterusername · 06/09/2022 18:36

He's talking shit!
Dump, get rid. He's an abusive cheating arsehole. Tell him you want him out tonight, if he doesn't go or gets aggressive call the police.

He left this morning. The pain is real and I know I am going to miss him but the trust has gone

OP posts:
Original poster
Olivasand · 06/09/2022 19:14

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

That was my response and also how cruel that would be

OP posts:
Original poster
Olivasand · 06/09/2022 19:18

ShandaLear · 06/09/2022 18:48

Sorry - cross post. I’m glad he is gone. I’m sure you are devastated but you will recover in time and I hope meet someone worthy of you.

Thank you for your message. Yes its a horrible lonely feeling right now. Imagining your partner with someone else is gut wrenching.

OP posts:
KittyCatsby · 06/09/2022 19:20

If he has called you that a few times then you have done right in getting rid. Finding out he has cheated and x that by 100. Hearing that he has tried to blame you / accuse you by setting you up x by another 100.
Honesty , it might not feel like it now but you will look back on now and realise you've had a lucky escape.

MrJollyLivesNextDoor · 06/09/2022 19:25

You can't see it yet but you have dodged a MASSIVE bullet

sagalooshoe · 06/09/2022 20:04

Where do I begin to work on my self esteem? I feel lost.

By seizing control of this situation. Don't discuss his pathetic excuses or lies with him. Remove him from your life. You are in control now. He has lost.

Original poster
Olivasand · 06/09/2022 20:09

sagalooshoe · 06/09/2022 20:04

Where do I begin to work on my self esteem? I feel lost.

By seizing control of this situation. Don't discuss his pathetic excuses or lies with him. Remove him from your life. You are in control now. He has lost.

He is still messaging me trying to excuse his actions and giving me a time scale as to what he would be willing for me to want him back??!!

OP posts:
sagalooshoe · 06/09/2022 20:15

You really need to tell him it's over. Tell him you should have ended it when he first called you a c*. Tell him this has sealed the decision for you, wish him well, say goodbye then block him. Tell him if he comes anywhere near you, your family or friends you will inform the police that you are being harassed.

Seriously, this kind of person needs a very strong message. He is manipulative. He will try anything to get his feet under your table again. Anything.

Original poster
Olivasand · 06/09/2022 20:19

sagalooshoe · 06/09/2022 20:15

You really need to tell him it's over. Tell him you should have ended it when he first called you a c*. Tell him this has sealed the decision for you, wish him well, say goodbye then block him. Tell him if he comes anywhere near you, your family or friends you will inform the police that you are being harassed.

Seriously, this kind of person needs a very strong message. He is manipulative. He will try anything to get his feet under your table again. Anything.

Thank you. I would never be able to trust him.

OP posts:
Brenna24 · 06/09/2022 20:25

Wow. That is a spectacular lie. Block him on everything, change the locks and keep as far away from him as you can. It is going to hurt for a while but in the long term you will realise how much better off you are without him. It will be hard blocking him but it will make it easier not to have the co tact reopening the wounds and it removes the temptation.

layladomino · 06/09/2022 20:28

You are so much better off without him.

He cheat. He lies. He humiliates you. He doesn't treat you like a partner. He doesn't show you any respect. He thinks he can treat you like crap and you will always come running.

You know he's been cheating. He can't talk his way out of that. He must think you're stupid with that ridiculous 'excuse' of his.

I beg you to block him and not make any further contact. Nothing good will come of it if you contact him. You won't get answers, you will never understand what he's done as he is cruel and vile and not a decent person like you are. If you contact him he'll keep trying to worm his way back in, to mess with you head, to make you question yourself, to try to make himself look like the victim. Just keep reminding yourself he's vile and abusive and enjoys humuliating you. You deserve 1000 times better, and most men in the world are better than him.

MsDogLady · 06/09/2022 20:30

A narcissist doesn’t like losing their supply. He has felt powerful by putting you down/seeing your distress and efforts to keep him/cheating on you.

Olivasand, he is poison and his leaving is a blessing. Protect yourself now by blocking him.

redbluegreenwhite · 06/09/2022 20:32

please block him now OP. look how much support you have here. Keep us all updated.

limitededitionbarbie · 06/09/2022 20:38

I agree. Block. Block on every platform he has to contact you. He is an absolute dick. And a liar.

Might not feel like it now but you have had a lucky escape.

Aquamarine1029 · 06/09/2022 20:40

Op, please, you need to take control and block him permanently. You are allowing him to badger you at this point. Block him and please do the Freedom Programme. Don't enter into another relationship until you have taken the time to figure out why you make the self-destructive choices you do.