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Original poster

My partner fancies my sister

96 replies

blueberry2105 · 02/09/2022 09:38

My sister is stunning she is 6yrs younger than me, tall slim and has bigger boobs than average as she had hormone issues in her teens. She's beautiful. My partner when we first got together as friends used to make remarks about her all the time then when we started dating I couldn't get them out of my head. He even said a few times I looked like her face. I am short with 34B boobs. My sister wears make up takes care of herself wears perfume and has long blonde hair. I don't wear make up, or perfume and my fav outfit is black jeans and a T-shirt.

I know full well he fancies her and she's more his type. What the hell do I do??

I love my sister so much but this feeling won't piss off. I hate him seeing pics of her on my social media when we have days together etc it kills me.

I broke up with him because of these feelings and he told me I was being silly and I'm prettier etc but I don't want to be prettier I just don't want to constantly feel like he's lusting over her.

Should I end it? I know it's extreme but he doesn't deserve me being upset and grumpy in these situations and I can't resolve these feelings at all.

OP posts:
fdgdfgdfgdfg · 02/09/2022 09:55

I can't see anything here that says he fancies her, other than a couple of comments before you started dating.

I think this is more about your insecurities than anything he's done.

Fairylightsongs · 02/09/2022 09:57

Other detailing how jealous and insecure you are of your sister you’ve actually forgotten to say what makes you think he fancies her?

TabithaTittlemouse · 02/09/2022 09:57

This is about you being jealous of your sister rather than your partners feelings for her.

Aikko · 02/09/2022 10:06

It's OK to find other people attractive, this is completely normal. It's whether they act on it or not is the issue, and nothing you've said here shows this as been the case.

It sounds more like you need to work more on your own insecurities.

Creepymanonagoatfarm · 02/09/2022 10:10

Honestly do you like make up and a better wardrobe than jeans and a T shirt but don't bother because you feel dsis will still outshine you? If your image is genuine then fine. But maybe dressing up a bit will make you feel more confident and realise your bf does love you.

AverageJoan · 02/09/2022 10:12

From your OP I would say this is much more about your own insecurities than your DP having feelings for your sister

DoingJustFine · 02/09/2022 10:14

I get it. When you were friends he made it clear he fancied your sister. So now you probably feel he still does.

But fancying someone doesn't mean you want to be in a relationship with them.

BeesKnee · 02/09/2022 10:14

I think the problem is that entirely that you compare yourself to your sister too much.

trust me I get it, I also have a sister who is very beautiful, she’s taller, slimmer, curvier, much more naturally beautiful than I am.
But we are different people.

i know she is very attractive, I know everyone with eyes can see she is much more beautiful than me,
but I’ve never even considered that my DP would fancy my sister, or think she is more attractive than me, because I know he loves and fancies me.

if your boyfriend fancied your sister why would he be dating you and not pursuing her?

unicormb · 02/09/2022 10:16

This ⬇️

My partner fancies my sister
Whataretheodds · 02/09/2022 10:17

He even said a few times I looked like her face.
What does this mean?
Agree it's not at all clear he fancies her but it is clear tgat your insecurity will eat you alive if you don't address it.

MolliciousIntent · 02/09/2022 10:18

This is nothing to do with your DP, or your sister, and everything to do with your own issues. Maybe therapy?

girlmom21 · 02/09/2022 10:21

I don't think he fancies her. He's just said previously she's a good looking woman. Have you had previous boyfriends who have used you to get to know her?

MrsTimRiggins · 02/09/2022 10:23

It doesn’t sound much like he fancies her to me.. he’s mentioned in the past that you’ve similar facial features, which makes sense given you’re sisters after all, but otherwise you don’t really seem to be basing this on anything else other than, and I hate to sound mean, your own insecurities.
your sister sounds beautiful, but I am sure you are too. Big boobs are not the be all and end all, and make up, dressing up etc that’s all great if it’s your thing but if not, that’s okay too.

MysteriousMonkey · 02/09/2022 10:23

I have quite often had feelings my partners brothers over the years. I have a theory that quite often it's because they are quite alike, share similar traits etc but they are not your partner so you don't have the realities of everyday life with them. Also you tend to be around them a lot on occasions when it's all about family and people are feeling warm and fuzzy. Its never been anything big, feelings wise, just a tiny crush I have always ignored, I think you can ignore it. I imagine although you think your sister is more than you, your partner genuinely doesn't!

5128gap · 02/09/2022 10:26

If I was dating a man who made remarks about my sister he would not have been promoted to partner.There is no way I'd be with a man who saw my family members in this way.
I'd agree you do have confidence issues regarding your sister, but that doesn't mean his behaviour isn't a problem. Clearly in the past he has given you cause to think he sees her in an inappropriate way, and presumably this continues. So yes, I'd dump him.

Original poster
blueberry2105 · 02/09/2022 10:35

I forgot to mention the bit where he sent her a message saying he was thinking about her giving him a tit wank and the day we went for a walk and he kept talking about my sisters boobs

OP posts:
frazzledasarock · 02/09/2022 10:38

blueberry2105 · 02/09/2022 10:35

I forgot to mention the bit where he sent her a message saying he was thinking about her giving him a tit wank and the day we went for a walk and he kept talking about my sisters boobs

Bleurrrgghhhh yeah no I wouldn’t have ever got together with a man who said that about a family member.

How did you end up in a relationship with a man who’s openly told you he fancies your sister?

IrishladyNE · 02/09/2022 10:38

Get rid ASAP

Original poster
blueberry2105 · 02/09/2022 10:38

I am aware these are my insecurities. My sister lives 200 miles away which is probably why nothing has actually happened. But the thought of family meet ups makes me feel unwell and I can't have a separate love and family life I want them to be one

OP posts:
BradPittsLeftTit · 02/09/2022 10:39

blueberry2105 · 02/09/2022 10:35

I forgot to mention the bit where he sent her a message saying he was thinking about her giving him a tit wank and the day we went for a walk and he kept talking about my sisters boobs

Well, yes that's pretty relevant I guess! Quite a big thing to leave out of your OP! Definitely dump his ass

Original poster
blueberry2105 · 02/09/2022 10:40

I ended up with him because at the time the distance made it easier for me to have a relationship she was far away and has kids and he never said these things while I was dating him. But you can't switch off. If it was a random woman that's fine but it's my bloody sister. We fell out after the messages but I forgave him but I guess I haven't

OP posts:
safetyfreak · 02/09/2022 10:40

What a drip feed! of course you should dump him! he is a pig. Vile man.

DoingJustFine · 02/09/2022 10:41

I forgot to mention the bit where he sent her a message saying he was thinking about her giving him a tit wank and the day we went for a walk and he kept talking about my sisters boobs

OK, dump him now.

Were those incidents before you started dating him?

wellhelloitsme · 02/09/2022 10:43

blueberry2105 · 02/09/2022 10:35

I forgot to mention the bit where he sent her a message saying he was thinking about her giving him a tit wank and the day we went for a walk and he kept talking about my sisters boobs

I mean this is quite the drip feed!

What on earth did she say back to that? If I was her I would be incredibly disappointed you'd kept seeing such a creepy prick tbh.

Aikko · 02/09/2022 10:43

blueberry2105 · 02/09/2022 10:35

I forgot to mention the bit where he sent her a message saying he was thinking about her giving him a tit wank and the day we went for a walk and he kept talking about my sisters boobs

Deary me. What a drip feed.
I'd wager he's probably wanking himself off to photos of her as well.

Throw this one back asap.

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