Bad teeth

[QuattroFormaggi]

Looking for advice please.
I've met a guy on OLD. He's really lovely, kind, decent, we've got lots in common, loads of laughs, fit body, gorgeous eyes/hair/skin. We both quite fancy each other and We've arranged a second date.

The only tiny thing is his teeth - or lack of. Bottom ones are all there but only one top front tooth and quite a lot of what looks like black retained roots.
A close friend of mine had exactly this (a combo of weak teeth, lack of dentist visits and no money) and ended up with a full clearance and implants, which has changed his life. I know that there's loads of reasons for having awful teeth so I'm not judging this new bloke but it is something that could potentially put me off him.

I hate sounding so shallow How can I get past it and should I ask him about it? If so, how? He's not that old and I know only too well that tooth decay only gets worse if left unchecked and I'd hate him to end up toothless or in pain.

Are you sure it's not meth mouth?

Quite sure!

You're not shallow for being turned off by someone not following basic hygiene and brushing their teeth! He's got a cheek expecting anyone to put up with that, it's foul. I'd suspect drug use to be honest. Either way he's getting chucked!

I don't think I could kiss someone who only had one top tooth. If I really liked them them I'd insist that they get their teeth fixed - but there's no easy way of saying that unfortunately

I don't swipe anyone not smiling in at least one pic.

I couldn't contemplate kissing anyone with bad teeth - I can't imagine his breath is very good .

It would be a no from me

Thing is, it's not always due to lack of hygiene. (I work in healthcare and there's many other reasons for tooth decay). It's definitely not drugs (he's military so wouldn't get away with that). If he wore an eyepatch or walked with a stick, I'd ask about it, but teeth feels so much more personal!!?!

Yup. Learnt the nard way to always see a picture of them smiling first

I couldn't bring myself to be intimate with someone who was missing their front teeth. Definitely not.

It’s a no from me too. A lot of people in the UK have bad teeth. Even friends with wealthy parents when younger and now have good jobs of their own have wonky gnarly discoloured teeth. It’s not always a priority for some people.

Your date sounds like his poor dental hygiene is at a entirely different level though…. I wouldn’t want to kiss someone with such bad decay 🤐

Definitely a No. Teeth reflect so much about a person

If you like him which you obviously do - as sensitive as it is, I would ask him about it and what/if he has plans to do something about it.

It does sound very bad and you would (as difficult and sensitive it is) be doing him a favour.

He might be at a loss as to what to do about it and perhaps you could help to point him in the right direction to do something about it(?).

Your not being shallow at all btw it would put 99% of people off.

I knew someone who had really knarled looking teeth - probably some of the worst I had ever seen and in his 50s he met an ex-dental nurse who pointed him in the right direction and they look amazing now.

I always feel sorry for people with terrible teeth - you can always notice their awkwardly adjusted smile/or intentionally closed mouth smile.

Just casually bring it up.. say sorry for being so nosey but it's quite obvious to see and u are intrigued

How shallow. They really don't.

I wouldn't. If you have any money at all you should prioritise your teeth - above online dating. It's just not possible to be attractive without a cared for mouth.

Sorry but that sounds absolutely vile. One top front tooth and black roots? That is not a tiny thing. 😕

Maybe he's planning to get them sorted?

I think it's a bit unfair of people to act as though it's a personal failing of his, there might be medical reasons or childhood neglect or any number of causes other than him being unhygienic.

If you like him enough to see if you can overlook them, then give it a go. Might be worth having a gentle chat.

Only one top tooth? That’s unusual especially as you say he’s fit and gorgeous.

There is such a stigma about having bad teeth in our culture. Tooth loss does not always mean a lack of care or hygiene. You say the condition of his teeth is only a tiny thing to you and he has lots of other great qualities, only you know if you find him attractive or not. Lots of people wear dentures and he was, you would be none the wiser!

Thank you. This is kinda how I feel too. Nothing else about him suggests poor hygiene, and he certainly didn't grow up in abject poverty. I had a chat with the partner of my friend who had similar issues years ago and she said she just saw it as his wrapping paper and the real him inside was what mattered. And that it made zero different when snogging or shagging

I guess he could look at my fat arse/stomach and wonder why I care so little about myself that I dont diet or do more exercise...

Anyway, am going to go on second date and see how it goes. He has been texting me this evening and seems surprised that I'm still keen so maybe when we meet I'll ask him why and see what he says.
Thanks for your opinions!

It would be a no from me.

Military get free dental care.... Well we did when I was in 12 years ago.

I wondered this too.

Some horrible judgemental comments. You have no idea why his teeth are a problem. 'Poor hygiene' is about the worst opinion.

You may not find his teeth attractive; please don't judge him. You have no idea

How do you know he isn not brushing his teeth?!

Oh do fuck off with the 'must be bad hygiene/drugs' rhetoric.

Bad teeth can be caused by genetics, illness and a multitude of other things.