Bad teeth

[QuattroFormaggi]

Looking for advice please.
I've met a guy on OLD. He's really lovely, kind, decent, we've got lots in common, loads of laughs, fit body, gorgeous eyes/hair/skin. We both quite fancy each other and We've arranged a second date.

The only tiny thing is his teeth - or lack of. Bottom ones are all there but only one top front tooth and quite a lot of what looks like black retained roots.
A close friend of mine had exactly this (a combo of weak teeth, lack of dentist visits and no money) and ended up with a full clearance and implants, which has changed his life. I know that there's loads of reasons for having awful teeth so I'm not judging this new bloke but it is something that could potentially put me off him.

I hate sounding so shallow How can I get past it and should I ask him about it? If so, how? He's not that old and I know only too well that tooth decay only gets worse if left unchecked and I'd hate him to end up toothless or in pain.

Still do and you can get admin action for missing appointments.

@ThreeB I thought as much. Op Maybe it's a problem that he can't help but the military will help fix. If he's in the military hes got something about him and hygiene is a must for the forces!

This....you never know what the history is! I lost one of my top and back teeth in a fight defending someone else. I made some money and replaced the bridge with a gold implant! I'm sure this guys well aware of it. Maybe he intends to get it fixed.

Thing is, it's not always due to lack of hygiene. (I work in healthcare and there's many other reasons for tooth decay).

Hi dentist here so possibly a bit biased. Yes, there are many reasons why a person may lose teeth, however poor oral hygiene is the most likely reason for the vast majority of patients.

However... for me the biggest issue that would be a turn off, is that he obviously doesn't care about the appearance of his teeth. Id prefer to have relationship with someone who has attempted to make his mouth more presentable.

Before anyone jumps on the bandwagon, NHS partial acrylic dentures are very affordable.

The thing is OP, you're allowed to not be attracted to someone physically (or in any other way) and shouldn't feel obliged to be if you aren't. Whether other people would be out off by this or not doesn't affect what your personal preferences are. Or shouldn't, anyway.

Do you fancy him? Do you enjoy kissing him?

What I don’t understand is why he doesn’t have dentures or a plate? I’m not talking tens of thousands on veneers, a decent denture though? It’s not that expensive and he’s obviously had these issues for a long time, plus you can usually pay dentists over a period of time for treatment.

I can’t imagine walking around with just one tooth and black roots, it’s vile. It’s not shallow to want half decent teeth, it seems extremely neglectful, sure there might be medical reasons but then you’d think he’d be even more likely to have picked up a denture along the way?

Allot of people commenting about poor hygiene but it sounds more like a trauma injury since it’s just those front ones, and his hygiene is good otherwise.

He really should fork out to have them fixed. I had to spend loads on one of my front teeth due to a childhood injury but it was worth it.

Why do you have to get past it? You're allowed to have standards about your dates' appearance. Speaking personally, I couldn't get past it. It would be a massive turnoff.
I also would find it very arrogant to be honest. Most women with teeth in that condition would do anything to get them fixed before they look for dates....

Maybe if he said something to you about it that would seem less arrogant eg "I know my teeth are terrible but ... such and such happened... treatment is expensive .... I'm getting them fixed... " but I'd be wanting to hear that from him, not have to raise the issue myself.

He needs to get himself a set of Turkey Teef

I had a Tinder date and all was fine when he was talking but when his mouth was passive, he had a sunken granny face. It was awful. He hardly had any teeth left in his mouth apart from a couple in the front. Lovely bloke but no way could I envisage kissing him.
In most cases it's years of poor dental hygiene and some it's due to drugs, whether recreational or medical.
He must be aware of it and the fact he didn't bring it up on your first meeting leads me to think HE doesn't think it's a bit deal and not one he's prepared to do anything about.

Whatever you do, don't have a 2nd date and not say anything about it. It's not going to magically disappear. Maybe he's sticking his head in the sand and ignoring it so do him a favour and discuss it.

My Dad's mouth is like this but he's in his 80s. I think its incredibly arrogant that he doesn't wear dentures when in company. It's basic manners to have a minimum standard of appearance: clean, dressed, minimally groomed.

Do him a favour. Say you like him, you hope that he's sorting out his teeth because without that you can't see him becoming the person he's meant to be.

I know people with really bad teeth because of gum disease and inherent genes.
But who goes on a date with gaps or black sockets in their smile?
I'd avoid.