My bf believes his pants are another mans

[Staytrue05]

I’ve posted a few times and yes I’ve been told my relationship isn’t the best

my partner has started getting more paranoid and has become physically abusive to me the last month

i don’t know why but I can’t walk away

he was sniffing for 2 days solid and I got fed up of it and went out for the day with my friend
when I came home I picked up a pair of his pants and shorts what he left on the floor in the bathroom and chucked them into the wash pile

he somehow got it into his head and swears blind I threw a pair of pants behind the washing machine and came out the bathroom with a pair of pants saying there not his

i was like I dunno cos maybe there your dads or your sis bf
but no he went mental on me and chucked me out the house n took my keys

i went back like a idiot that night around 12 he was super high and I asked to take some clothes at least
i saw he put the pants he found on top my clothes and I put them on the side in the living room n said oh is these them and I took a photo of them and left

that morning he text me he’s still sniffing and he’s gonna end his life
he was saying your never forget this day I’m gonna do something to haunt u forever
and all these abusive textes

he went quiet for a hour
i started crying and panicking
he than text me loads of letters what made no sense
i knew immediately he’s overdosed and he said help n I drove like a lunatic to the house from my friends who I stayed at cos he chucked me out

i found the door open and ran in to find him on the bed
i rang the ambulance
he wasn’t in a good state
it was awful
i wanted to die myself at that moment

he went to hospital and what I found really strange is when the paramedics arrived he walked out with them
which was odd cos before they come n I was sat next to him crying begging him to hold on
he wasn’t even moving or answering me

we spent the whole day at hospital fighting
he kept saying I cheated on him and all this stuff about the pants

anyway that night I went back to our home cos I had the keys he gave me them back and I grabbed the pants he found what I left on the side in the living room and went in his pant draw n pulled all his pants out filming it to see if I find anymore the same with the lable
and of course I find another pair in white
and grey and navy blue
i put them all next to each other they was obviously a pack of 2 each or 4
and I went in the bathroom and saw the pants I chucked with the shorts were not there anymore cos it was the pants he picked up n said we’re not his

i don’t no how he got it into his head he got them from under the washing machine
but he was on drugs for 2 days solid

I took all the pants to the hospital today and I handed him the pants what he said wasn’t his
i said are they yours
he said yes
i said thank u finally
than he said u just got these out my draw
wheres the ones I found
i was like r u crazy I took a pic of these pants when I came back to yours at 12am
look at the photo with the date n time it’s the same pics I took them in your face
but he’s so deluded he said I switched them
oh yeh right

im not going mental I’m so drained
i don’t know how he can’t see he made a mistake
he really believes I went out n bought a pair of mens pants back in my bag n chucked them behind the washing machine

i swear to god I didnt
and y would I chuck them in our home
if I did do something I would chuck them outside somewhere before I arrived home

im going crazy
im being told I’m a cheat n liar n listening to all this abuse
n he said he don’t no if he wants to be with a cheat anymore
he really believes himself
and I’m innocent and being punished and hurt for something I didn’t do

i even got the textes n photos all day from when I was out
from when I met my friend to pics where I was to when I came home

im really upset
his sis text me and said he’s getting worse it’s the drugs and to walk away
but I cant
i still keep begging him and trying to proof myself

i don’t no what more I can do
i even said I’ll pay for a lie detector test which he said if I did it n pass he would get down on his knees and say sorry
but I’m sure it will be something else next week

he got paranoid before a month ago and beat me up for thinking I wanted a 3 way with some old couple who was with us at a house party
they all contacted him after and said I did nothing wrong I was the whole time with my bf
and no1 even suggested anything and told him your crazy
he admits now to that he’s wrong and sorry

so why can’t he see now he was so high he believed his own pants were not his

im sure people will laugh at this post
its ridiculous
but I love him and I can’t accept not being with him

Run, don't walk! This man sounds deluded and will ruin your life

The sniffing is because he's using cocaine and this causes or at least adds to paranoia. He sounds awful. I'm so sorry but you need to go.

His own Sister has advised you to get out and run. Listen to her before you end up becoming another statistic. You said last month he beat you up over another paranoid delusion. He's capable of doing it again, next time you may not be so lucky. He's physically and emotionally abusing you, you won't change him no matter how much you believe you will. This is going to sound harsh but you need to wake up and smell the coffee and get out before it's too late

You might love him but he doesn't love you. You're his punching bag and his wallet. That's it.

You know what to do. Please do it and quick.

Oh and control / manipulation / paranoia / suicide threats don't equal love. It took me a long time to realise that.

He is not your responsibility. He is not your child.

I didn't read past the first bit and already thought LTB
WHY ON EARTH ARE YOU STILL THERE????

Run!! He is massively abusing you.
And then speak to your local domestic abuse Charity for support and your GP or local mind for mental health support too.
You deserve kindness, and you need to give that to yourself too by getting away from this horrible bully.

Famanon or alanon can help you too, look at his behavior yesterday, being together isn't helping him to get better, and it's hurting you too.

Things won’t change unless you find it within yourself to make things change.

Go to the doctor as a starting point. Your life is so chaotic, they might know where to signpost you for the help you desperately need.

I echo this. You say you’re prepared to die for him- just as well eh, as that’s the likely outcome. Your poor kids. Who is looking out for them in this shitshow?

On the marching powder for two days solid ? What you're seeing is a drug psychosis. You need to leave and never look back, you'll never live a normal healthy life whilst with this person. Your choice.

You absolutely CAN walk away! Sounds like a complete waste of space how you can bring yourself to be around abuse like that is beyond me, he's going to grind you down more and more until there's nothing left of you. And as for the taking his own life, it's manipulation tactics! Please tell me you've got no children to this man??? 😳😳 if not then never ever ever bring a child into the mix, innocent child doesn't need to suffer at the hands of him the way you're suffering now. I'd go to a refuge and let him take all the overdoses he wants. He wants you to react and feel sorry for him so you'll go back. Open your eyes!!!!

What do you actually love about him? He sounds fucking awful, op.

Run away. Then get some help.

I had a friend like you op.

Her boyfriend would request she video called him every 20 minutes when out to prove who she was with and where. He accused her of cheating whilst he was asleep and would hide the house keys and lock the windows.

He was so paranoid he drove her mad in the end. She was sectioned and became reliant on antipsychotics.

Unbelievably, she stayed with him.

She passed away aged 35. I will not go into detail.

Get away from him op, you are worth so much more than this.

I once had a nutcase like this, when I went out without him he would go through the social media nightclub photos to try and find me and 'pin something' on me. He would accuse me of just about everything when he was off his rocker, then the next day he couldn't have been nicer. Then the cycle continues, OP you need to go cold turkey on contact here, you are not responsible for a grown man, he's going to take you down with him. Please write on this thread anytime you feel like contacting him.

You have children.

What the fuck are you thinking continuing to beg to be with a dangerous drug addict who is destroying your mental health and now physically abusing you?

Put your kids first.

Who do you love more - them or him?

I've experienced similar, it's so traumatic. Get out now. It's the drugs making him believe the things he does, however that doesn't excuse his behaviour. He is responsible for the choices he's making and how he treats you, even if he's not in his right mind. Don't engage with the madness, there's no rationalising his thoughts. Understand that you cannot help him no matter how much you want to. Only he can do that.

Call the Police if he hurts you or behaves in a way that frightens you. Get some real life support (leave a message for Women's Aid, or call your local drug support charity) and get far away from him. He is very much a danger to you both physically and mentally.

Oh wow and he lives with you too I've just realised.

Your poor, poor kids.

ill die for that man

I don’t believe anyone can help you at the moment. You truly don’t seem to be able to see what he is, what he’s doing to you and what he’s made you into.

He’s a disgusting, abusive, drug-addled piece of shit. And if you stay with him, this will be how it is every day for the rest of your miserable life unless you can find some self worth and leave.

This man should be no where near your children.

Their safety must come first.

You have kids?!

I didn’t know that. You’d die for a man that takes thousands of pounds worth of drugs in the home you share with your kids, who beats you in the house you share with you kids????????

You’re putting him (obsessively) before your children.

You can't go on like this. This is not a healthy relationship.

He is manipulating you. That's what addicts do.

You need to find the strength to leave him. Reclaim your life and let him go.

Leave, walk away, run, LTB, kick him to the kerb....

There are many ways of saying it, but there's only one answer to this situation. He's a physically abusive drug addict, it's not going to get any better.

His sister knows it, so listen to her.

I genuinely hope you get to the point that you choose to leave before he gets to the point he's deteriorated so much he kills you.

In the meantime, if you have children, please protect them by giving up custody and ensuring they don't have to suffer this man any more.