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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

An affair at work only

81 replies

deepathinka · 20/08/2022 17:57

Please don't think I'm being silly but can a man have an affair that is purely based in his working hours only? I'm suspicious but he never goes out without me . He's glued to his phone to the detriment of anything else , monosyllabic and I can't do a thing right .

OP posts:
Xiomara22 · 20/08/2022 18:08

Yes he can

AnneLovesGilbert · 20/08/2022 18:13

Of course. Do you think that’s the case?

EmergencyHepNeeded · 20/08/2022 18:14

Yes if she's married too.

JimmiChoux · 20/08/2022 18:14

Most definitely

Penseuse · 20/08/2022 18:17

Yes, of course that’s possible. People can fit affairs into deeply unlikely time slots, some much more restrictive than FT working hours. I know two people who had a fling while only ever seeing one another when their shifts as volunteers at a phone line coincided, and two others who only met while dog walking.

Isittrueornot · 20/08/2022 18:22

You’d be gobsmacked….I mean gobsmacked what people could do to have an affair. A work one only is not even in the realms of craziness.

Ladyof2022 · 20/08/2022 18:46

Some adulterers are so sordid and disgusting that they DTD in offices, store-rooms, carparks. Yuck.

DebussytoaDiscoBeat · 20/08/2022 18:50

Yes, I used to work with a woman who would meet up with her AP during lunchbreak and shag in his van.

deepathinka · 20/08/2022 19:19

Ladyof2022 · 20/08/2022 18:46

Some adulterers are so sordid and disgusting that they DTD in offices, store-rooms, carparks. Yuck.

Pre camera days ?

OP posts:
Thesefeetaremadeforwalking · 20/08/2022 19:22

Yes, my exH did this.

He booked days off work and took her to hotels. His workmates covered for him.

I'm sorry you are in this situation as I know how it makes you feel.

Room242BringAFriend · 20/08/2022 19:22

I worked with someone who told his wife right from the start of their relationship he worked six days per week. In reality he worked five and always had that one day to do what he wanted to do without her knowing. If they want to they will find a way..

deepathinka · 20/08/2022 19:26

I can't see his phone / I pad it's always turned away from me . I guess he could bonk on the way home from work , maybe of overthinking this . Surely no ow would put up with this ? They would want evenings and weekends too ?

OP posts:
deepathinka · 20/08/2022 19:29

He's also got holidays and he's dragging his feet about booking them . He says that he can't speak to anyone as the office / hr is ringfenced and blocked off from everyone

OP posts:
category12 · 20/08/2022 19:30

All he has to do is take time off and not tell you to get a day in bed with someone.

And the rush of lust in an illicit relationship can make shagging in "grim" places sexy.

category12 · 20/08/2022 19:31

Maybe dragging his feet because he's used up days?

Choice4567 · 20/08/2022 19:31

Of course it’s very possible! And very easy. OW may well be caught up in excitement and promise of evenings and weekends ‘soon’

category12 · 20/08/2022 19:33

And if OW is also in a relationship, she wouldn't be able to do weekends or evenings either.

You can never discount an affair from "lack of opportunity" - there's alsways opportunity.

deepathinka · 20/08/2022 19:36

I would have thought that any OW would at some point want to be wined and dined or am I naïve? I've noticed little things like everything is a chore and inconvenience such as making me a tea while he makes one for himself . Or helping me with something about the house . Something he did cheerfully and willingly.

OP posts:
deepathinka · 20/08/2022 19:38

category12 · 20/08/2022 19:31

Maybe dragging his feet because he's used up days?

Good point thanks

OP posts:
deepathinka · 20/08/2022 19:38

category12 · 20/08/2022 19:33

And if OW is also in a relationship, she wouldn't be able to do weekends or evenings either.

You can never discount an affair from "lack of opportunity" - there's alsways opportunity.

Very true

OP posts:
mackthepony · 20/08/2022 19:39

Oh yeah

What stationary cupboards are for ( or at least used to be)

mackthepony · 20/08/2022 19:39

am I naïve?

^^yes.

W&D at lunch time?

Annabananna1 · 20/08/2022 19:40

Easy to clock off work an hour early and get home half an hour late. That's an hour and a half shag time. Plenty.

It sounds like he is being pretty cagey. Not letting you see his devices.

Theillustratedmummy · 20/08/2022 19:41

I know of someone doing just this right now. Hope its not happening to you op.

deepathinka · 20/08/2022 19:43

Annabananna1 · 20/08/2022 19:40

Easy to clock off work an hour early and get home half an hour late. That's an hour and a half shag time. Plenty.

It sounds like he is being pretty cagey. Not letting you see his devices.

I haven't asked to see them but I've noticed they are always out of my line of sight . Some times he has this little smirk on his face when he is looking at the screen . I know he likes watching clips on Twitter and engaging in debates

OP posts: