An affair at work only

[deepathinka]

Please don't think I'm being silly but can a man have an affair that is purely based in his working hours only? I'm suspicious but he never goes out without me . He's glued to his phone to the detriment of anything else , monosyllabic and I can't do a thing right .

Absolutely. My ex did & I think I dismissed the signs for quite a while because he wasn't disappearing at random hours of the night or weekend.

OW was also married with children and, as it turns out, her DH was very controlling with regards to what time she came home & what she did at the weekend. Reason being they were both married to other people when they met and so both conscious of how devious the other one could be 🙄. And forever suspicious.

It's not the screen time that has made me wonder . It's his whole attitude towards me that has changed over the last six weeks. Nothing I do is right . He talks over me too . Get told to shut up and stop telling me what I think or feel if I ask him what's wrong. It's like living parallel lives at the moment . Everything I do annoys him how I walk, sit , do things

Unless you are both very lucky with your schedules when having an affair then evenings and weekends are very difficult. More likely day time, or evenings if you can both find an excuse

Sounds possible - people do sometimes start picking fault with their partners to justify what they're up to (also to get opportunities to strop off and see the other person).

Not if she just wants sex/ casual companionship.

if she has a busy life too this might suit her.

My exH did when I was at home with a newborn. It was mostly emotional but they had sex in their cars on lunch breaks a couple of times. They also took days off I didn't know about and booked a hotel for the afternoon

Day use hotels are handy. An affair isn't dating, its mainly about sex when people get the chance to meet

Can you not Ken over when he's sitting in chair looking at his phone, put your arms around him and casually ask what he's looking at, anything interesting?

He's saying that I'm deliberately doing wrong things over and over and not listening. For example not wiping plates dry ( I do ) not putting things away in the order he wants . He thinks I'm doing this deliberately I'm not . He's been taken over by work by another company who are stamping down on how stuff is done . I wonder if he is bring his work home with him . It just seems he's checked out and living his life .

I always thought for most women sex was tied up with emotion ? I know a man will tell a woman anything to get her in to bed . My dad told me this as a teenager as a warning

Just based on this I'd tell him to piss off affair or not. Cheeky fucker

Unfortunately yes.

My best friend had a work affair for many years. She was single the man was married with one child that became two during the affair.
Eventually the man left his wife and he and my friend are happily married with their own children. However the way it began was far from wholesome and was strictly happening at work for about 3 years I think.

Depends,.one lady I knew had a high drive and was not being fulfilled via her partner, as such I presume from what I know, the lady had an affair to take care of business so to speak.

Thanks everyone for your supportive reply's

So sorry that this happened to you so soon after giving birth . They should be ashamed deeply ashamed

There's still emotion with lots of sex😂

I think that's a stereotype. Women can be as interested in sex as men.

Also, if the OW knows the situation (or if she's also in a relationship herself) she may well be willing to forgo the "romantic" element in the excitement & energy of the encounters.

If he's only changed in the last 6 weeks, presume it won't have been going on that long, so it would be all about lust and passion in the early stages.

Affair partners may also do a lot of their talking and emotional bonding via messaging.

They do, especially if you can't meet that often, and just talk about life etc.

But, OP, he could just be very stressed with work and being a twat?

Probably but it's like he's gone into a cave . I know this sounds daft but could early dementia be setting in ? I remember reading in a magazine of a woman who left her hubby because he became distant and nasty . Turned out he had dementia

It could be all sorts of things.

What does he say when you ask him why he's being such an arse?

Tells me to shut up / stop being stupid / listen to what your told and act on it .

I'd leave him based on that, nevermind an affair.

Bloody hell. I'm all for constructive communication, but there's no way I wouldn't respond to that with "Who the fuck do you think you are, cunty bollocks?"

Yes 100%. It's not hard to sneak in a little kiss in the office, or the odd touch here and there. Don't forget there's also a lunch break. If she lives local, there's nothing stopping them from going to her place, or even meeting up in a car park somewhere.

An affair can easily exist just during working hours. There is a dated belief that all "other women" want a full blown relationship with the married man when, in reality, a lot of them just like the attention or the thrill of it all. She could easily be happy with going about her normal life after 5pm, or just having the odd text back and forth here and there.

"I haven't asked to see them but I've noticed they are always out of my line of sight . Some times he has this little smirk on his face when he is looking at the screen"

This! The smirk whilst looking at the screen then casually looking up from his phone and when he saw me looking switch the screen off but 5 minutes later texting a furtive reply.

I just knew then along with the vile and totally unwarranted nasty unloving behaviour towards me.

It was as though his body had been invaded by aliens.