Been with partner a year and she hasn't proposed...

[getthesuitcasefromthevan]

Last Sunday was our 1 year anniversary.
I honestly thought she was going to propose.
She planned a night in a lovely hotel,lovely meal.
I honestly thought she was going to propose after a really great year.
I don't know what to do now...do I mention it to her?
I feel like we are just drifting along now with no proposal
I just feel a bit deflated.
I thought our 1 year anniversary would be the proposal
How do I approach this?

Propose to her.

A year? That's it?

Have you previously discussed what yous want from the relationship and whether yous are on the same page? That would be a start.

Yeah I understand all of your points of view.
She has told me now she's ready to settle down,she had decided before we met that's what she wanted -so we deffo are on the same page.

Right then so you just ask her 🤷🏽‍♀️

Can you just clarify? Is she getting younger?

You sold up after moving in with someone you'd known for 5 months and plan to use your money on her mortgage?

Crazy.

Unless she's adding your name to the deeds of that property you really shouldn't do that. That would be insane!

There is no rush flower.

On all that is holy though canny what you do with your finances.

If you were totally both on the same page, she’d have proposed when you expected her to.

Im not saying things are wrong but your expectations are different and you need to talk.

If you want to get engaged why don’t you propose?

Stop leaving big decisions to her. It’s lazy. Ask for what you want.

Jesus Christ, slow down! One year is still in the honeymoon period.

Ask her! Why has she got to ask you ?

For God's sake don't sink your savings into HER mortgage! Wtf are you thinking??

I agree, big red flags if she is letting you sell your place and contribute to her mortgage. I can't help wondering if she's letting you think she doesn't want to propose, in order to elicit this sort of grand gesture on your part.

Why don't you propose?

She asked me to move in as it made more sense
No point us both paying 2 lots of bills
Selling my place was the best option as this is her family home and it's a 3 bed house
Mine was a flat
We have spoke about combining money for a bigger house and we have spoken about marriage and joint bank accounts etc ...that's why I thought she was going to be proposing.

I'm thinking of proposing to her at Xmas

Has she said she actually wants to get married at any point? 'Settling down' doesn't have to mean marriage. Are you certain that's what she wants? I certainly wouldn't propose to anyone (or wish anyone to propose to me) after one year. Way, way too soon. What's the rush?

You've sold your security for someone you've known for a year? Wow. This is too fast. You don't know somebody well enough after a year to marry them, or to become financially entwined. If you separate, you have lost your home and your security. You've been very naive.

I was in a six year relationship that didn’t work out. I then got engaged after only 10 months and married after less than 2 years. On paper that sounds bonkers yet here we are 10 years later, still happily married. My friend was with her partner for 8 years before they got married. They were divorced within a year. You can’t predict the future. You can only do what feels right at the time.

As someone who knows nothing about lesbian relationships, if there is an engagement ring, which partner gets to wear it, the person who is asked or both? Just a whimsical question, and I don't mean to sound trivial at all.

In your case OP if there is no proposal until Christmas, then go ahead and do it yourself then. At least you will know where you stand. But I would advise to delay any remortgaging/buying a joint property until you are legally together.

Wishing you the best.

Please PLEASE, before contributing your money to her mortgage, insist your name is added to the deeds/mortgage, irrespective of any marriage that may or may not happen. If this goes wrong you've lost your home.

It may not feel romantic but God you'll regret it if you don't

A year?? Thats nit long

If you love her and want to marry her then you should propose.

Do be careful with the financial side though. If you do put money towards her mortgage or buy property together get a solicitor to oversee it all and ensure that it’s clear who put in what. You need to protect yourself just in case it doesn’t work out.

@thefizz whoever wants to. Lesbian relationships aren’t some alien race with set rules. Grow up