Been with partner a year and she hasn't proposed...

[getthesuitcasefromthevan]

Last Sunday was our 1 year anniversary.
I honestly thought she was going to propose.
She planned a night in a lovely hotel,lovely meal.
I honestly thought she was going to propose after a really great year.
I don't know what to do now...do I mention it to her?
I feel like we are just drifting along now with no proposal
I just feel a bit deflated.
I thought our 1 year anniversary would be the proposal
How do I approach this?

A year isn't enough time to commit to a lifelong marriage. You may not feel it but its still very early for you to be even considering it. Don't rush things as you could end up pushing her away, it doesn't mean she doesn't love or care for you but it's a huge thing. Enjoy your relationship it will come be patient.

If you want to be married to her, why don't you propose?

Why are you putting your GF in the stereotypical position of having to propose - makes it seem like you think she's the man in your relationship!

Just propose to her FFS.

No deffo not -I don't think she's the man or anything silly like that.
She's the outgoing one,she's the one who asked me to move in-shes always the planner so it's just normal now for me to think she would propose (I hope that makes sense ha ha )

I'm not sure why it was down to her to propose. If you thought it should have happened after 1 year, you should have just done it?

My OH and I were together 3 years before any proposal and 6 years before the actual marriage. And we weren't a 'young' couple either.

If you want to marry, maybe you should propose instead? Maybe she's wondering if it's too soon and afraid of scaring you away?

Communication is key

One year is not very long, you barely know each other frankly.

@LydiaDeets I agree I know other lesbian couples who get engaged quick too-I don't know why

A year isn't that long, to be fair.

You really need to talk to her.

You need to talk to your partner about expectations.

I would never remarry precisely because I have a child and I want to make sure there are no conflicts with inheritance. Other people do things differently. You can only know how your partner feels though calm, adult conversation about expectations.

Its only been a year, in my view barely enough time to get to know each other, never mind a proposal. Don’t you think you are trying to move a bit too quick.

Maybe it's because she's a bit older and wiser and wants to make completely sure before she commits to marriage.
You need to ensure you are both communicating what you want, lack of communication is often the cause of relationships breaking down.

Ask her?

Why don't you propose?

If she is always the planner why don't you take the lead on proposing? Are you planning on spending you entire life waiting for her to take the lead on all the big stuff?

Maybe she's fed up of having to do all the driving and is disappointed that you didn't seize the opportunity of the romantic weekend.
None of us know what she's thinking. Ask her!

Surely if she's been the one to ask about moving in, you would be the logical one to propose? She must be wondering whether you really like her as much as she likes you. IMO a good relationship needs some give and take.

I don't think a year is necessarily too soon, but I do think any healthy relationship involves actually talking rather than sitting around hoping your partner is a mind reader.

Maybe she doesn’t want to marry you. Or maybe she has concerns about finances - lots of people with kids won’t remarry because they want their estate to go to their kids.

A year isn’t all that long though, why do you feel as if you’re just drifting? Maybe worth having a conversation about each of your expectations if that’s the case.

I was with my wife for almost 10 years before we got married (also same-sex relationship). I’m not sorry, as I think sometimes same-sex couples do feel pressure to move quickly sometimes.

She deffo doesn't have any concerns with finances as I sold my flat to move in with her so I'm happily going to put my money down on her mortgage (which we have discussed )

My friend (same sex relationship) married after 19 months so I do know that some can rush (or maybe not ) ahead a bit quicker

Not suggesting by the way that it’s never appropriate to get married quickly - sorry if that was unclear. Every couple is different. Just meant it’s important to have a discussion about expectations and what you both actually want.

Don’t. That would be idiotic.

It’s not a competition with other couples
why does she need to propose why can’t you? What’s the rush

As others have pointed out, you also have not proposed to her...

I strongly advise you don’t marry someone whom you can’t honestly talk about actual marriage with. You sound like you barely know her emotionally and certainly don’t sound assured in the relationship at all.