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Relationships

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Original poster

Boyfriend angry at me for booking a trip ....

123 replies

clappal · 14/08/2022 11:12

I surprised him this morning with a city break for Valentine's Day to Paris.
I've always wanted to go and thought it would be a lovely weekend away.
He's angry at me for not discussing it and said it's because I'm "selfish " "only child syndrome"

I honestly didn't do it to be bossy or over bearing..I just wanted to do something nice.
I've paid for flights /transfers /hotel so it's not like I'm asking for anything from him.

Should I have asked him first rather than surprising him?

OP posts:

ImHavingAnOldFriendForDinner · 14/08/2022 14:43

Have my first ever LTB!

He's a misery don't waste your life with a miserable fun sucker.

SimonaRazowska · 14/08/2022 14:44

Oh no!

Go with a friend

Ditch the dementor

AlisonDonut · 14/08/2022 14:47

How easy is it going to be to not be living with him?

Also, Paris in Feb is freezing. So wrap up warm.

whiteroseredrose · 14/08/2022 14:53

The same happened to me. I booked a birthday trip to Paris. We ended up splitting up and I took my best friend instead. Much more fun.

ItWasJustifiedHeWasACunt · 14/08/2022 15:06

girlmom21 · 14/08/2022 14:09

He might think you're pushing for a proposal. Is that a possibility?

My first thought

NippyWoowoo · 14/08/2022 15:07

Whatwouldscullydo · 14/08/2022 11:31

Well to be fair I'd hate this kind if surprise too.

Maybe id have planned my holiday days off for work for something else.

Maybe I'd not be able to get that day off.

Maybe I wouldn't have enough money to be able to enjoy the trip

Etc

So that alone doesn't make him a dick.

The moaning all the time etc would make him a dick though. Stuff that. Take a friend instead.

Yes agree with this. You also mentioned that you've always wanted to go, what about him? There are some cities that just don't hold much interest for me.

If someone is doing something for me as a surprise I'd expect it to be something that I'd enjoy. If you've always wanted to go to Paris have you ever discussed it as a couple and what were his views?

Also you've mentioned it was spontaneous, do you regularly do things on a whim? Does he maybe feel like you make all the decisions and announce it rather than ask for ideas on what he'd like to do?

userxx · 14/08/2022 15:12

"Only child syndrome". Cheeky fucker!

He sounds miserable as sin, life is far too short to be surrounded by negativity.

picklemewalnuts · 14/08/2022 15:13

If you are sad about this- and I see why you would be- you really need to have a think about the future. You are at risk of being trapped with a man whose preferences are fundamentally incompatible with yours and will leave you feeling miserably stifled. It all looks so one sided.

BadNomad · 14/08/2022 15:21

Definitely take someone who will appreciate the experience. Or go on your own and meet new people. You never know.

LaughingCat · 14/08/2022 15:25

Pffffft…I’m not an only child and I have surprised my OH with trips away, even though he is also a computer-game-loving homebird that never really wants to go anywhere. One was down south for knife forging and a posh meal for a long weekend and another to Krakow for ten days because he once showed me an article on the Wielisczka salt mines and said it would be cool to see them (he didn’t even know about that one until we got to the airport - he thought we were visiting my family in Holland!).

Since then, he’s also surprised me with a once-in-a-lifetime trip to New Orleans for two weeks at Mardi Gras. Neither of us have ever called the other selfish for it, we just said thank you (and squealed…I definitely may have squealed 😂).

Your OH needs to get over himself - you have done a lovely, thoughtful thing. Maybe take some time to evaluate whether or not you want a partner who wants to share in experiences with you or one who actively makes you feel bad for wanting to do anything. Don’t limit your life just because he wants to limit his.

fghj149 · 16/08/2022 08:38

You deserve a Valentine’s Day in Paris with someone as kind as thoughtful as you. Ditch the dickhead

lilroo87 · 16/08/2022 08:42

Doesn't sound like you're very compatible. I would be thinking about leaving tbh as hell always be this way and you'll end up never doing anything or going anywhere

ShandaLear · 16/08/2022 09:11

It’s 6 months away so you’ve hardly sprung it on him. It’s not like he has to hoof it to Stanstead on Thursday. I think it’s lovely and it’s a shame he is upset about it. It does sound like you’re incompatible though, and you might want to think about your long term future with this man. Do you want one that sits on his phone or plays FIFA all the time, or do you want one who likes travelling, seeing new things, and going on adventures? I’ve been with both, and believe me, the adventurer is much more fun and exciting.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 16/08/2022 09:18

Why are you with such a man who is and has turned out to be a miserable FIFA and phone playing fun sponge?. He is not your project/fixed upper nor wants to be rescued or saved.

What are you getting out of this relationship now that is still worth having?.

Soproudoflionesses · 16/08/2022 10:02

He will only get worse as he gets older op.

EmergencyHepNeeded · 16/08/2022 19:24

AceSpades54321 · 14/08/2022 13:31

Maybe he was planning to take you to Paris to propose? 💍

What a massive stretch!

Cas112 · 16/08/2022 19:26

I'd tell him not to bother coming and you'll try find someone more grateful to go with 🙄

OldFan · 16/08/2022 20:18

He is always like this unfortunately

@clappal Fwoargh. Sounds like every woman's dream.

Maiev · 18/08/2022 08:31

Just leave him before it went too far. He is miserable and not suitable for you, cancel his ticket and if you will not find someone to go with, just treat yourself, this is perfect place to send valentines

ChrisTrepidation · 18/08/2022 08:41

Do not waste one more second of your life on this miserable fun sucking twat. He doesn't deserve a trip to Paris. Leave him to his games and Netflix and go live your life!

Clashgeek · 01/10/2024 21:49

I'm in the same situation apparently I'm selfish, and was wrong not letting my partner chose the surprise holiday. Your not alone I wanted to do something nice for us both to look forward to.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 01/10/2024 21:53

You’d be better off starting your own thread rather than posting in a zombie thread from 2022.

Mmhmmn · 01/10/2024 22:00

clappal · 14/08/2022 11:16

He is always like this unfortunately
Can't get excited for anything till the day then finds the tiniest things to moan about
Tbh I should have known but I got excited at 2am this morning and just booked it.
It's always me doing the planning of trips
He is happy to lie in bed day in day out and play fifa
I like to do fun things and maybe I should of known better

So he's not motivated to do anything but also doesn't want to let you do anything either. You sound ill matched. If you stick with him, he'll suck every last bit of joy out of you til you're a husk of your former self. Even for someone who maybe doesn't like surprises, turning that into an attack on your character is unnecessary. Keep the trip, ditch the crappy name-calling bf.

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