Boyfriend angry at me for booking a trip ....

[clappal]

I surprised him this morning with a city break for Valentine's Day to Paris.
I've always wanted to go and thought it would be a lovely weekend away.
He's angry at me for not discussing it and said it's because I'm "selfish " "only child syndrome"

I honestly didn't do it to be bossy or over bearing..I just wanted to do something nice.
I've paid for flights /transfers /hotel so it's not like I'm asking for anything from him.

Should I have asked him first rather than surprising him?

@clappal this isn’t a life or a relationship! My stepson is like this and it destroys every relationship! Life is not about getting lost in technology, it’s about living.

OP you sound lovely and your spontaneous trip sounds perfect. Your boyfriend sounds as though he needs gamers addiction help.

You two are way too different and I am hoping you can make use of this wonderful trip with a friend. From all you have written in your various answers, it sounds like a very lonely life.

Getting out of this after two years is better than wasting your life after many more and then it being so much harder.

Gamers rarely change and neither do those who are technologically obsessed on the whole!

Hoping you will be okay and apologies if I sound harsh but you deserve so much better.

Completely incompatible

Move out, dump him - you'll be bored forever

Find someone more compatible. This man will try to bring you down to his level. You'll look back in 10 yrs time and try hard to remember any fun times.

Exactly my thought. Also, the first 2 years is as good as it gets. It only goes down hill from now.

Posts like this always baffle me a bit - was he a totally different person when you met and then now you’ve been together longer he’s totally different and wants to stay home? I don’t understand why you’d stay with/move in with someone who you’ve not got anything in common with like how do you even get past the dating phase when someone is so different? :/

I agree with others that you just don't sound suited.

Was there any reason to think that he'd be interested in a weekend in Paris or is it more for you?

No need for name calling though!

Maybe he was planning to take you to Paris to propose? 💍

Go with someone else, someone who wants to go to Paris with you.

Don't waste your life OP. Move on.

If you don't you'll be in here is a few years time very unhappy saying your DP doesn't share the housework or childcare load and just goes to work and plays FIFA the rest of the time. And there will be loads of comments asking what he was like before and deep down you will know you settled for less than you should have done and are now stuck. Get out NOW whilst it's relatively easy.

Anger is just a very strange reaction. Not being quite as delighted as you had hoped is one thing, but this is really odd. My experience is that fun sponges just get worse and more set in their ways as they age. I’d really be rethinking this relationship. What’s he going to be like when something really miserable happens?

He will always be like this. You don't have to. You can move on and have a better life without him

He likes to stay in watching Netflix or playing Fifa

You are both incompatible

He is telling you loud & clear

He is not that into you

Please end this relationship & look for someone who does enjoy going away places

Life is far too short to stay with someone who doesn't like doing the things that you enjoy

i dont like surprises but its 6 months away and he doesnt sound very fun anyway

why are you with him

There are other possible boyfriends in the world.

Chappal

There is so much more to life than hours infrastructure of the screen

Infact, my partner has booked many surprise places to go & I have not known until I have reached the airport (obviously I had to book the time off work). I love the surprise element of travelling.

We have been to some amazing places all over the world & hope to visit many more together.

His reaction to your surprise, should signal to you the end of this relationship today

The world is a big place

He might think you're pushing for a proposal. Is that a possibility?

It's hardly a surprise or spontaneous if you're telling him 6 months ahead of time.
Maybe he doesn't think he'll still be with you in Feb 2023.....

He sounds like a dementor, sucking the joy out of everything. Dump him and go with someone who will appreciate it!

Another one here wondering why you’re with him. It isn’t obvious from your posts. A good relationship is much more joyful and fulfilling than what you describe. And as a PP said - this isn’t you and him several years in exhausted from the demands of parenting or some such, this is you and him at 2 years.

What did you learn about relationships growing up that makes you settle for this? Perhaps he’s really hot or amazing in bed but those things will wear off if he’s such a fun-sponge out of it.

Are you sure that he's someone you actually want to be with in 6 months time ?

TBF though - knowing what he is like - I don't understand why you would have booked this. I'm not generally a miserable person and love going away but I wouldn't be happy if my DH booked something without my input.

Why bother. He sounds like a joyless cunt.

What does he add to your life, if he’s as you describe? Being single is waaaay preferable to having a millstone like him around your neck. When was the last time he did something nice for you? Or did something he didn’t want to because he knew it would make you happy?

Raise your bar. There are men out there who will live up to your expectations if you do, I promise.

You've wasted two years on him. How many more do you want to waste?

Time to trade in the overgrown teenage boy for an actual man who can behave like an adult.

He doesn't deserve a thoughtful girlfriend like you.