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Original poster

Boyfriend angry at me for booking a trip ....

123 replies

clappal · 14/08/2022 11:12

I surprised him this morning with a city break for Valentine's Day to Paris.
I've always wanted to go and thought it would be a lovely weekend away.
He's angry at me for not discussing it and said it's because I'm "selfish " "only child syndrome"

I honestly didn't do it to be bossy or over bearing..I just wanted to do something nice.
I've paid for flights /transfers /hotel so it's not like I'm asking for anything from him.

Should I have asked him first rather than surprising him?

OP posts:
TokyoTen · 14/08/2022 12:24

I know know you posted about trip to Paris. But the problems in your relationship seem much bigger. He seems to stuck the joy out of anything - I think you need to find someone you are more co.payi le a d who is less of a misery guts.

MakeadealwithGod · 14/08/2022 12:25

Even if he’s not spontaneous, he’s got six months to get his head around it!

He sounds completely different from you though. What do you normally do if he's staying in all day on FIFA/his phone? Accompany him or do your own thing? Not much of a life for you is it?

Katyrosebug · 14/08/2022 12:25

Don't waste your time or energy anymore, he's shown you who he is and what your future holds. Can you imagine what he'd be like if you had children to entertain?

Clymene · 14/08/2022 12:26

What do you get out of this relationship?

roarfeckingroarr · 14/08/2022 12:27

He sounds awful. A misery and a constant gamer. What a waste of a life.

RiverSkater · 14/08/2022 12:29

Why treat somebody who so wont appreciate it.

Take somebody who will.

And dump the Dementor.

Maireas · 14/08/2022 12:31

clappal · 14/08/2022 11:16

He is always like this unfortunately
Can't get excited for anything till the day then finds the tiniest things to moan about
Tbh I should have known but I got excited at 2am this morning and just booked it.
It's always me doing the planning of trips
He is happy to lie in bed day in day out and play fifa
I like to do fun things and maybe I should of known better

Why on earth propose to him?

ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 14/08/2022 12:32

clappal · 14/08/2022 11:16

He is always like this unfortunately
Can't get excited for anything till the day then finds the tiniest things to moan about
Tbh I should have known but I got excited at 2am this morning and just booked it.
It's always me doing the planning of trips
He is happy to lie in bed day in day out and play fifa
I like to do fun things and maybe I should of known better

It's not about "should have known better" but about you trying to inject zip and zing into a relationship that is only two years old, but stultifying. Would you be happier finishing it, because he sounds a bore.

Arenanewbie · 14/08/2022 12:34

I wouldn’t call him awful however his comments were unnecessary awful. I hate surprises my self, I wouldn’t survive even my partner choosing a meal for me in a restaurant, and I live him dearly and we are together for more then 25 years.
However PPs are right that it seems there is a bigger issues in your relationship- you are very different. It will be a huge problem down the line especially with kids. I would think about this carefully and respectfully. He is not such a bad person but he’s very different from you.

rainbowstardrops · 14/08/2022 12:34

So he'd rather stay in watching Netflix and playing games on his phone as opposed to actually getting out to do something with his partner?
Is he 15???

Frith2013 · 14/08/2022 12:37

I don't know how old you are but, if you're 30ish, do you want to put up with another 60 years of this?

UseOfWeapons · 14/08/2022 12:37

Rescind your offer of aforementioned treat.
Go to Paris with a friend.
Have a little romance to open your eyes to world of possibilities.
Come home, dump misery guts, the ungrateful sod.

SleepingAgent · 14/08/2022 12:38

clappal · 14/08/2022 11:16

He is always like this unfortunately
Can't get excited for anything till the day then finds the tiniest things to moan about
Tbh I should have known but I got excited at 2am this morning and just booked it.
It's always me doing the planning of trips
He is happy to lie in bed day in day out and play fifa
I like to do fun things and maybe I should of known better

You don't need to ask our permission to get shot of this sad sack.

Dump, enjoy your trip and I hope you love either the single life or finding someone who matches your energy and joy for life.

Randomthoughts992 · 14/08/2022 12:38

id be concerned that hes getting annoyed that youve booked a valentines in paris... Plenty of people do, Is there a backstory here? No money ? lots of debt type of things because if not id be leaving. Its months away not even like your springing it on him short notice

Randomthoughts992 · 14/08/2022 12:40

Although i am also wondering why your putting up with it, by sounds of it you may not even share children so why are you allowing him to run your life like that ?

InTheFridge · 14/08/2022 12:41

He sounds awful and completely incompatible with you.

It's only been 2 years. Get rid of him.. unless you're happy that the next x number of years will be the same.

uncomfortablydumb53 · 14/08/2022 12:43

Get rid of him before he completely sucks the joy out of your life and drags you down
You'll be happier single until you find someone who gives back what you give
However young you are Life is too short to live like this

Aquamarine1029 · 14/08/2022 12:45

What an absolute shame that you are willingly wasting your life with this arsehole. FGS, raise the bar.

Triffid1 · 14/08/2022 12:46

I am not sure I'd like this kind of surprise... but you have a much bigger, lack of compatibility problem. You like going out, doing things, travelling, being spontaneous. He clearly does not like any of those things. How on earth have you got 2 years in, and moved in together, when you so clearly don't have similar mindsets?

LaingsAcidTab · 14/08/2022 12:46

I'm sorry that you feel that this is all you deserve, OP.

NiqueNique · 14/08/2022 12:52

He didn’t have to like the surprise. Fair enough, many people don’t like having things sprung on them (although...6 months ahead of time isn’t really springing it on him is it). He could have been gracious about it. But no, he got angry and called her selfish. That’s not a compatibility issue - that’s just being a twat, quite honestly.

That said, there clearly is a compatibility issue as well. You’re not right for each other.

@clappal he’s not going to change, ever. This is who he is and this is what your life will be if you stay with him.

SquirrelSoShiny · 14/08/2022 12:59

You're not compatible and you're better getting out now.

RobertJohnsonsShoes · 14/08/2022 13:00

I am a very anxious traveller and it would be my worst nightmare if DH booked something then told me we were going. That said we work round it by me being involved In the planning of stuff. I don't want to miss out on life because of my anxiety.

Difference is we talk about it and find ways to manage my anxiety. He sounds like a bore. Sack him off and take a friend

brookstar · 14/08/2022 13:00

If it's a nice day and I suggest a walk to the beach or a pub lunch ..he will scrunch his face and suggest staying in to watch Netflix or play games on his phone

Do you want this to be the rest of your life?
He's told you who he is, now you need to decide if this is how you want to life your life.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 14/08/2022 13:02

What a miserable git. Why are you with him? Honestly?