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Relationships

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Anyone else’s partner do this

85 replies

Emmasumm · 10/08/2022 13:52

So my boyfriend lives at my house. Does anyone else’s partner say they are going for “one quick drink” and it never is that it ends up being hours and sometimes he doesn’t even let me know. It’s not often he goes out but it’s causing major anxiety.

OP posts:
NatMoz · 10/08/2022 13:55

Doesn't happen with my husband. If he has more than one drink at home or elsewhere he is massively hungover the next day so it's not worth it!

Always tells me where he is

SheldonesqueTheBstard · 10/08/2022 13:56

You are the master of your own destiny. This is easily cured.

#naemairpish

Carrieonmywaywardsun · 10/08/2022 14:00

What did he say when you told him it makes you uncomfortable?

You say he lives at your house, don't you mean you live together? Weird way of phrasing it, unless it's a factor of why you're upset?

Emmasumm · 10/08/2022 15:21

Carrieonmywaywardsun · 10/08/2022 14:00

What did he say when you told him it makes you uncomfortable?

You say he lives at your house, don't you mean you live together? Weird way of phrasing it, unless it's a factor of why you're upset?

He has his own house spends an odd night there but predominantly lives at mine

OP posts:
Emmasumm · 10/08/2022 15:22

Emmasumm · 10/08/2022 15:21

He has his own house spends an odd night there but predominantly lives at mine

I’ve told him I don’t mind just let me know as I could be making plans myself rather than sitting in waiting for him to come back. God I sound pathetic

OP posts:
Emmasumm · 10/08/2022 15:22

It’s not the going out it’s just the not letting me know

OP posts:
EmergencyHepNeeded · 10/08/2022 15:22

I would tell him to stay at his own house on the nights he went out for drinks.

Emmasumm · 10/08/2022 15:23

NatMoz · 10/08/2022 13:55

Doesn't happen with my husband. If he has more than one drink at home or elsewhere he is massively hungover the next day so it's not worth it!

Always tells me where he is

He will message a couple of times but then he goes silent and then I get a sorry message the next day

OP posts:
Emmasumm · 10/08/2022 15:24

Emmasumm · 10/08/2022 15:23

He will message a couple of times but then he goes silent and then I get a sorry message the next day

He’s got ADHD and I know this can make people quite impulsive

OP posts:
Emmasumm · 10/08/2022 15:25

EmergencyHepNeeded · 10/08/2022 15:22

I would tell him to stay at his own house on the nights he went out for drinks.

I think I will

OP posts:
dreammattemousse · 10/08/2022 15:31

I've just left my ex for this shit

We deserve better than being lied to ..

We have kids together so it's been horrific but I refuse to be disrespected every weekend...

ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 10/08/2022 15:37

I have ADHD but I would never do that.

lastminutedotcom22 · 10/08/2022 15:53

My ex did this
He's now an ex
Shows total disrespect for you

Big red flag i would get rid

Men like this are like sheep they just all follow each other and lack enough common sense, dignity and respect to say "I'm off now"

Why on earth would you want to be lumbered with someone like that?

excellentday · 10/08/2022 16:01

Mine used to do that.

It was 'just popping for a pint'.
That to me is 1 pint. he often would also follow it up with 'i'll be an hour'.

Never was it one pint and never was it an hour.

I was the same as you. just bloody well say if you actually mean a few pints and i'll probably be a couple of hours. Or even, 'not sure how long I'll be, i'll let you know'.

Its not that fucking hard. Used to drive me crazy. Just say what you actually intend to do ffs.

Basically had that out with him and explained, just say what you mean. Its pathetic pretending you'll only be an hour knowing full well you won't. It makes zero difference to me how many pints you have, its the upfront lying that I have a problem with.

It has stopped, I have to say. he will now say hes going for a couple and always now messages to let me know when he thinks he'll be back. And I have to say when hes said he'll be an hour, he will now be an hour.

But yeah, for a while it was like pulling teeth.

Emmasumm · 10/08/2022 16:02

ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 10/08/2022 15:37

I have ADHD but I would never do that.

I’m so pleased you commented. I’ve been using his ADHD as an excuse. He hasn’t used it as an excuse

OP posts:
Emmasumm · 10/08/2022 16:04

excellentday · 10/08/2022 16:01

Mine used to do that.

It was 'just popping for a pint'.
That to me is 1 pint. he often would also follow it up with 'i'll be an hour'.

Never was it one pint and never was it an hour.

I was the same as you. just bloody well say if you actually mean a few pints and i'll probably be a couple of hours. Or even, 'not sure how long I'll be, i'll let you know'.

Its not that fucking hard. Used to drive me crazy. Just say what you actually intend to do ffs.

Basically had that out with him and explained, just say what you mean. Its pathetic pretending you'll only be an hour knowing full well you won't. It makes zero difference to me how many pints you have, its the upfront lying that I have a problem with.

It has stopped, I have to say. he will now say hes going for a couple and always now messages to let me know when he thinks he'll be back. And I have to say when hes said he'll be an hour, he will now be an hour.

But yeah, for a while it was like pulling teeth.

He got himself into some real trouble at the weekend also I won’t go into what but it gave him a shock

OP posts:
Albgo · 10/08/2022 16:05

My sisters husband does this to her at least once a month. I think it's really inconsiderate and rude.

Emmasumm · 10/08/2022 16:08

Emmasumm · 10/08/2022 16:04

He got himself into some real trouble at the weekend also I won’t go into what but it gave him a shock

He’s so lovely in every other way it just pisses me off so much. So now when he says he’s going out I get quite arsey. Shall I persevere or just call it a day

OP posts:
Emmasumm · 10/08/2022 16:08

Albgo · 10/08/2022 16:05

My sisters husband does this to her at least once a month. I think it's really inconsiderate and rude.

That about how often he does it. It’s just totally inconsiderate I totally agree

OP posts:
Emmasumm · 10/08/2022 16:10

lastminutedotcom22 · 10/08/2022 15:53

My ex did this
He's now an ex
Shows total disrespect for you

Big red flag i would get rid

Men like this are like sheep they just all follow each other and lack enough common sense, dignity and respect to say "I'm off now"

Why on earth would you want to be lumbered with someone like that?

He’s so lovely in every other way it’s so annoying. I have had no luck with men. Maybe I’m just a door mat so they take the piss

OP posts:
GrazingSheep · 10/08/2022 16:11

Does he pay his way at your house?

Emmasumm · 10/08/2022 16:11

I agree. And I think also I think I would never do the same to him and enjoy a night out if I knew I hadn’t bothered to let him know

OP posts:
Emmasumm · 10/08/2022 16:13

GrazingSheep · 10/08/2022 16:11

Does he pay his way at your house?

He has his own house round the corner but pays towards food if he’s at mine. He earns a good salary so pays for slot of weekends away etc but I do save up and pay for weekends away meals out too etc

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 10/08/2022 16:19

What do you mean he got into trouble? Is this really a good responsible person for you to be with?

pinkyredrose · 10/08/2022 16:25

Was the trouble due to him drinking too much?