Its not looking good is it?

[notlookingood]

Went on a first date on Sunday. With a guy I matched with on Tinder.

We already knew each other, we had met a few times probably 6 or 7 years ago on nights out and already had each other added on facebook.

I remember back then, we did message over facebook and I remember he asked for my number, but then never text me so nothing happened/progressed.

Years later we match on Tinder and he asked me out for a drink, and we had a nice evening! Chatted for hours, seemed to have a bit in common. He said he didn't know why we lost touch at the time back then. He also threw me a few compliments.

After the date, he text me to say he had a great time, couldn't believe how long we were chatting for and would love to meet again sometime. I said yes I'd be up for that and i'd felt the same. I fell asleep on Sunday night and didn't reply to his last message when I woke up Monday morning (which wasn't too important). But he didn't message me all through Monday or at all yesterday.

My gut is telling me this isn't good? If he was genuinely that interested, he wouldn't not reach out for 2 whole days? Particularly since we matched on Tinder.

I'm now starting to feel upset thinking that maybe I was never good enough which is why he never made the effort those years ago. He did say the reason he is single is because he is picky.

I suppose its worth noting that i've never known him have a girlfriend, although he says he was with someone a few years back for a while but it just fizzled out. He definitely isn't the sort to put it all over facebook anyway as I wasn't aware she existed at the time.

Feeling sad as it was the first date i've been on in a while where I actually want to see him again.

Just playing games.. Message him for goodness sake. It's your turn to restart the conversation.

It’s your turn to message him. It’s really that simple. There’s no way I would double text so early in the relationship so the onus is on you to keep the conversation going.

Your gut isn’t telling you anything you’re just panicking. If you’re going to think you’re not good enough on the basis of a text message then OLD may not be for you.

If you want to talk to him text him back.

One of my friends is online dating. If he explained this scenario from the guy's perspective, I'd advise him to wait for you to reply given he messaged last and to take no message from you as a sign you're not interested 🤷🏻‍♀️

Everyone is filtering out flakey timewasters at this stage. Not just you...

Exactly this.

Bloody hell!

What's with the games....

He messaged, you didn't reply and now you're playing games to test how interested he is....

Just send a quick "how's your week going, fancy a drink/coffee/walk/whatever you like". Don't complicate things that are simple.

its “texted”.

Good lord just message him.

You sound high maintenance. He messaged you last, it’s your turn. Why can’t you ask about his day?

I don't see why he would be messaging every day at this stage.
He text you last and probably doesn't want to/feel the need to chase.
He's on Tinder so you're probably not the only person he's seeing or speaking to.

Yep, I agree with everyone else: totally your turn to text OP.

Last time I fell asleep during a texted conversation, I just messaged the next morning to say, "sorry, fell asleep." It would be a bit odd to do thst all this time after,but I agree with all the rsdt saying, it's your turn.

But also, it's not that unusual for texting frequencies to change over the week with work patterns; some people are free to text during the day; others less do. Depends a lot on the job (and person.)

I would definitely text, I think it's rude to leave someone hanging if you fall asleep. I'd either end the conversation before bed (leaving it open for him to text back first) or text the following morning and continue the chat..
From his point of view you look disinterested.
If you text and then there's nothing well at least then you know but it seems dreadful to just leave it now!

Regardless of the whole messaging situation, I think there's too many red flags here. He's already ghosted you once before. He tells you that he hasn't got a gf because he's 'picky' - you realise this means controlling, right? He doesn't put his relationships on facebook because that would scupper his games.

Yes, technically it's 'your turn' to message. But honestly I wouldn't bother.

Wtf? Aren’t you a bit old to be playing games with a bloke?

You didn’t bother replying. Why would you want a man to chase you when you’ve shown you’re not interested?

Maybe call him? Text tennis sounds like hard work. It really doesn’t need to be this complicated.

It’s not just a man’s responsibility to start conversations. Stop overthinking and send him a message.

I'm seeing a guy now, sometimes if he's the last one to say goodnight by message he will then text me the following morning before I've messaged. Vice versa from me also. If two people like each other, this game playing really shouldn't be an issue.
You sound like hard work OP.

Loads of posters have already told you it's your turn

How old are you? I always wonder when people say "I'm old" and imagine in their 80s.

Just text him!!
You sound a bit of a drama queen tbh. Your thread title is way ott just cos you haven't replied to a message!

OP sorry but you're being ridiculous and sabotaging yourself. It's your turn to text FFS! Playing games never works out well.

This....