Salary difference between spouce

[HmmmWhatDoYouThink12]

Looking for opinions. I earn about 20k more than my DH. We always go 50/50 on bills, mortgage etc. He's been unable to buy a badly needed car due to his salary and it made me think, should I be contributing more? I usually save my extra cash as savings but am now rethinking

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@dogatetheremote
I'd be beyond furious if my DH suggested giving me a car as a gift unless it was some frivolous sporty number.

What do you mean by that?

Didn't you discuss if you were earning less your husband/partner should pay a higher proportion of % then?

Did your marriage/relation last in these circumstances?

@Successgirl2022 I mean a car is an essential, not a gift. A marriage is a partnership and the lower earner should not be beholden to the higher earner to decide to 'gift' them an essential item. If a second car is needed then that should come from joint finances.

That’s not what you said though. I had no real need for a car, so hadn’t bought one, but my DH thought a nice little new electric Smart car would be nice, so bought it for me. I think it was a lovely present.

That is exactly what I said. You got a special car you wanted as a gift, not an essential. Your electric smart car is my frivolous sporty number.

When dh and I married 24 years ago we got one joint account and everything went into that. We have savings accounts too, but all is joint. We do have some investments in separate names, but that's only on paper. Reality is everything is joint.

When we were first together I earned a little more than dh. 24 years and a adult daughter later, dh earns probably 10 times what I earn. It's still all joint.

Any big purchases we discuss together before spending.
Smaller purchases either of us make happily in our own from the joint accounts.

To be honest we started pooling our money from the day we started living together.

We have friends with separate accounts entirely and I find it strange that sometimes one will go out but th either can't afford to join them. Doesn't seem very fair.

Don’t pay any attention to the guilt inducing posts on here. Just go with your gut.

I agree it’s family money.

in the past Dh earned a lot more than I did. So he paid more of the bills and when I needed a new car he gave me 5k to buy one.

@Abraxan

We have friends with separate accounts entirely and I find it strange that sometimes one will go out but the other one can't afford to join them. Doesn't seem very fair.

I agree.

So do they live together and 1 person goes out and if the other one can't afford to and he/she doesn't go out then?

I agree with you.

We have friends with separate accounts entirely and I find it strange that sometimes one will go out but th either can't afford to join them. Doesn't seem very fair

Yes that would be very weird. In my case we keep it separate as there is plenty to go round and I want to be able to make expensive purchases without having to account to him and I’m sure he feels the same.

I bet this is a reverse. No-one is that dense unless they are being financially abusive deliberately.

If you’re going 50/50 with someone earning significantly less, why would you feel like you're being taken advantage of?

are you sure it is 50/50 when you include day-to-day things you buy, holidays, food, trips out etc