Salary difference between spouce

[HmmmWhatDoYouThink12]

Looking for opinions. I earn about 20k more than my DH. We always go 50/50 on bills, mortgage etc. He's been unable to buy a badly needed car due to his salary and it made me think, should I be contributing more? I usually save my extra cash as savings but am now rethinking

He's your husband?? It sounds like you're talking about a boyfriend you're not living with.

Why is he not able to buy this car? Does he not, or is unable to save? If he's generally sensible and the car isn't some kind of ego-boost flash car, I would contribute.

I know There will be lots of different opinions on this, but when marriage I out earned my ex by about 50%, we split bills me 66% her 33%, which seemed fair at the time.
personally I think if your the one earning more, you should be the one contributing a larger percentage to the bills.

it should be proportionate to your income. 50/50
when you earn so much more is unfair. And the way you’re writing about your DH sounds odd - surely if he badly needs a car that’s a family issue/expense?!

We've always had a joint bank account and shared everything... just as well as I earned nothing for twelve years ... fortunately my DH respects me and doesn't assume he just keeps his money for himself and I bought a car from our joint bank account. He's your husband ... not a flat mate .

You’re married. It’s family money. Why would you see him go without a means of transport?

We split the bills so we had roughly equal left over (I earn more). I used to update the calculations regularly when things were tight, but as we are currently both able to save (and both have similar attitudes to spending and saving) it doesn’t make any difference as the savings are pooled.

So no I don’t think it’s fair to split bills 50:50 if one earns more. And one shouldn’t have to go begging to the other for something that’s ‘badly needed’ or be ‘gifted’ it by the higher earner.

To me, being married means everything is shared.

I’d consider an adult needing a car as a household expense and so think you should contribute.

I earn a bit more than my husband (about £12k) but finances are pooled so we have the same amount of disposable income each, and all savings are joint.

DH earns more than double what I do, we sit down monthly and household income goes into a “pot” we look at the bills, what’s coming up, savings etc then we both get equal spends of what’s left.

When I was with my ex, we both put money in a joint account every month for household expenses, bills, shopping etc. I earned twice as much as him so I put in twice as much.
It seems harsh to make someone who earns £20k less contribute the same amount.

So you have/ save a disproportionate amount in comparison to your husband? I'd be giving him the money for the car, and reassessing how the money is split. If you earn significantly more, and he is left with much less (regardless of which sex this is) then the bill should be split by a percentage of income. Do you pay for significantly more incidentals?

Yes, I would buy my husband a much-needed car if I was earning that much more.

We are the other way around in earning than you as I was working part-time after our son started school and my husband bought me a car (the 2nd one in our marriage.

The 1st car he bought me in 2006 (He saved up and paid £6000 in cash for it) was a 2-year-old automatic (I only drive automatic) light blue Renault Scenic which lasted 13 years. Electric windows broke - a very common problem with them and other problems, all together it only lasted for 15 years.

In 2019 he bought me 10-year-old silver BMW Series One (for a very reasonable price with cash £4250) in very good condition and we both love it. It's not as spacious as Renault Scenic but a better-built quality car.

We've been married for 17 years.

If he was in your shoes would he do the same?

I couldn't eat lobster while DH ate bread. I find your way of organising your finances really odd.

Fine if you're casually dating, not for me what marriage is.

We put it all together, pay the bills, sort the kids and both have a small amount of "play" money for things like drinks out with friends, coffee, a new top ect.
Anything else that's needed just comes out of the pot. It's our money, he earns more but I took couple of years out when we had the kids, and I work term time to be around for the kids. It's never been his or my money. Marriage is about being a team.

Gosh a very clear cut response there, thanks everyone. I don't know what is wrong with me, I feel like I'm being taken advantage of and handing over all my money but clearly I am totally wrong

What’s the relationship like in general? Does he pull his weight?

Why does he earn less than you? Is it just because of different jobs or does he work significantly fewer hours and has more personal time?

Sorry, yours isn't a healthy marriage imo. My money is my husband's and his is mine. There is no "mine and yours." There is none of this absurd percentage bullshit. Why get married if this is how you feel about the finances?

I've been married for 25+ years, and nearly all of the marriages I know that have failed had separate finances. There's a level of trust and partnership that's missing.

Aren't you a team Hmm? That's the essence of it.

Wow. Do you not see this as a marriage, a team?

DH earns five times what I do, but all money is still family money.
All goes into one pot, all bills and savings are taken out, then we decide what to do with rest.
If I needed a new vehicle, or money for big repairs, we'd both be happy for it to come out of the joint account.

I have to disagree with the majority.

together a long time and never mixed finances, everything is split 50/50 and whatever we have left after bills and household expenses is our own to do with as we please.
money of us does earn significantly more than the other, but the lower earner could get a better paying job if they wanted thru choose not to for a better work/life balance.

it works perfectly for us.

in your situation I would help him buy a car though.