Would you put up with this?

[Gr4insp4in]

So, my boyfriend and I agrue a LOT. But not in a normal way I don't think...

He talks over me all the time. Even when we aren't arguing I'll be mid sentence and he will go off speaking for ages. Its got to the point where I struggle to converse with him, and he makes me feel guilty for losing focus.

He argues with so many people. Extremely confrontational guy, which brings problems and drama my way. But I'm 'fake' because I don't do that. I gossip at times and am nice to people, but the way I see it, you can gossip with people you love to avoid popping off at someone (which means you lose your job or get yourself into a really uncomfortable situation).

During an argument, he ALWAYS tries to make it seem as though he's just trying to get through his day and I'm this psycho making it hard for him. For example "what do you want from me", "you're actually crazy" "you need to listen to yourself because you're being a dick", when im literally just trying to talk about how I feel. He will zoom in on specific words I say, but the other way around it's different. The other day I asked if he was annoyed about something and he said yes. But minutes later in the convo I addressed that he said he was annoyed. And he goes: "no you're not listening to me I said it was annoying not that I AM annoyed" and guys I can't stress how he denies the tone of his voice and such... I KNOW WHEN SOMEONES BEING OFF WITH ME so for him to deny it all makes me look like the crazy one. Everything's vague, a riddle, never ever apologises even when he's been fucking awful in the past. He says manipulative and that I use certain tactics, and I've really tried to think if I am but honestly I really don't think so. I'm always "twisting his words" or "not listening", those comments are usually made when I disagree with him. Its so painful to explain something and for them to just say "well you clearly haven't listened".

Need the advice cause I just don't know how to discuss it all with him. I know it's gonna get thrown in my face the nice things he's done. He's gonna make me feel like a shit person. And I'm gonna feel bad i know I am.

Where do I start when it comes to talking about this without it being a huge mind game?

@EvenMoreFuriousVexation

"Why bother discussing it? Just dump this bad tempered aggressive windbag.,"

^^ this sums it up nicely...

I agree. He sounds like a narcissist.
Do some research on how narcissists behave. They aren't a lot of fun (well, can be horrendous) and in my opinion best avoided if possible.

Well done OP! So glad for you. You deserve so much more

@KettrickenSmiled yep I just handed my work notice in one day so there was no going back and left a few days later :D

I've realised I have some leftover emotional damage and stuff, and I need to build my life back up from square 1, but even just after a few days, I can't imagine being a victim of that person any more. This forums great because it helps me feel less isolated and I can imagine there are plenty of people who this thread will help too, its like abusers all read from the same book or something, right? 🤣

@TheLittleRedDragon I spent so long thinking he was just not like other people, making all these exaptions but that dude is the definition of narcissism!!

Since the beginning, I was waiting until I was older and stronger to stand up to him. I knew it'd come some day :D

I can imagine there are plenty of people who this thread will help too, its like abusers all read from the same book or something, right? 🤣
Yes! 'The Script'!
Keep reading & learning, & protect yourself by signing up to The Freedom Programme.

I am chuckling over you handing in your notice. THAT must have felt so good!
Your day has come all right.
Bloody well done you xx

So so thrilled to read you are free.

Have you read about the www.feedomprogramme.co.uk

So many highly recommend it for women who have been in abusive relationships.

Well done you.👏👏👏