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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Married to someone with Asperger's/ASC: support thread 6

975 replies

Daftasabroom · 03/08/2022 11:33

New thread, and as previously:

This thread is for partners seeking to understand the dynamics of their relationship with someone with ASD. It is a support thread, and a safe space to have a bit of a rant. Avoid sweeping generalisations if possible, try and keep it specific to you and your partner. (ASD partners welcome to lurk or pop in, but please don't argue with other posters and tell them they are wrong).

OP posts:
NationalAutisticSocietyInfo · 02/11/2022 19:52

From the NAS website.

We want to stress that autistic people are just as capable of having loving and successful relationships as non-autistic people

www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/family-life-and-relationships/family-life/partners

catseyesr67673 · 02/11/2022 20:00

fuckthisforagameofdarts

I could have written your post almost (but not quite) to the letter. I have had enough too. Want to leave/then don't want to leave. I have young dc too so this is another factor. Also postmenopausal (another factor) and show some (but not all) traits of ADHD. Sorry to read you are in a similar position but it is comforting to know I am not alone as I feel like I exist in an echo chamber most of the time.

Notepadfrog · 02/11/2022 20:01

NationalAutisticSocietyInfo · 02/11/2022 19:52

From the NAS website.

We want to stress that autistic people are just as capable of having loving and successful relationships as non-autistic people

www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/family-life-and-relationships/family-life/partners

I’d like to see some data that backs that up - the adult generation is severely under diagnosed so it will be interesting to see what happens in the next 30 years.

WahineToa · 02/11/2022 20:04

That’s interesting, I wonder if there are any couples who have no issues when one has ASD and the other is NT.

Hi, this is from the beginning of this thread. I’m NT & partner of 30 years diagnosed autistic, one of our kids is also autistic. We have a great relationship! Known him since we were kids. Our DD with ASD is fab, a very kind loving kid who of course has her specific challenges but all my kids did. It’s just different and less common I guess, so more to learn and figure out. DH has pretty common traits, quite affected hearing especially. Poor executive function. I do a lot for him, life admin and working the crap of life out! But I get other stuff instead. Amazing advice, since he is not led by his emotions. Very calm when I am stressed, I have anxiety. Very thoughtful, although it can mean he’s slow to get to all things! He’s just considered and careful, particular. Breakfast in bed every day :) amazing support in menopause. Treats me like I’m the most beautiful amazing intelligent & sexy woman in the world! When they like you, they like you! they are obsessed and adoring! I love it. He puts up with my menopause rages and emotions they can’t always understand! My overuse of words and not saying exactly what I mean. My needing to talk everything to death. The way I act before I think when emotional. I don’t know why it’s worked out for us so well. I don’t know what I’d do without my DH, have been poorly for years and I’m so well looked after. But anyway, the question was asked so thought I would answer it! The thread title didn’t specify if it’s only for partners with difficult relationships :) From the first half of the pages I read, I would say that a lot of the issues are similar to what my friends in NT relationships say about their bad marriages. Sometimes a bad relationship isn’t that much to do with autism. One thing I try to remember in my marriage, he is led by logic, whereas I am led by emotion. I think of that when I have an issue with him and I also remind myself, that does not mean he lacks emotions or empathy, or that I lack logic! It’s a different emphasis and priority in our minds.

7eleven · 02/11/2022 22:34

Lovely post @WahineToa

IndigoFlamingo · 02/11/2022 22:54

Regretthisfish · Today 15:44

I can't say anything without being attacked. OK I'll just not talk at all

Yes, here too. Then, to calm things down so that he will continue to talk and stop feeling aggrieved, I don't talk at all.🤐

fuckthisforagameofdarts · 02/11/2022 23:40

catseyesr67673 · 02/11/2022 20:00

fuckthisforagameofdarts

I could have written your post almost (but not quite) to the letter. I have had enough too. Want to leave/then don't want to leave. I have young dc too so this is another factor. Also postmenopausal (another factor) and show some (but not all) traits of ADHD. Sorry to read you are in a similar position but it is comforting to know I am not alone as I feel like I exist in an echo chamber most of the time.

Thank you. I appreciate the solidarity

Daftasabroom · 03/11/2022 07:40

I've wasted years, literal years waiting around for her (including faffing every time we left the house)

OP posts:
Daftasabroom · 03/11/2022 07:43

Posted too soon, that's a cut and paste from @Changemyname1000x

OP posts:
catseyes54754857 · 03/11/2022 10:02

I think the biggest difference is that post-diagnosis I have much greater self-awareness about my behaviour and have actively taken steps to make changes. But sometimes the ASD partner is less able to observe their own behaviour or read the emotional impact it has on their partner. They simply don't see it or have a bizarre certainty that they are always right. That is the case with my DH even though he is actually a decent man. It didn't stop the death by a thousand cuts and the feeling of total invisibility in my own life.
Things are improving but as usual it's because I'm doing the self-awareness and emotional lifting for both of us. And it would be easier to do this if he actually saw and acknowledged it but he doesn't because it just isn't within his frame of reference. It doesn't exist to him and then he has the cheek to tell me I'm doing nothing!

I feel a lot of frustration surrounding this because I have done a lot of work via therapy in looking at my emotions whereas DH simply denies he has any issues and is happy with who he is. I also get the total invisibility thing - I think I'm crying out to be noticed and I think this could make me vulnerable to the attentions of others (and I could end up feeling a loss of respect for myself etc). To pre-empt this, I have done a lot of work that centres on me and self love etc. It doesn't take away the fact I long for a bit more connection though (including connection in friendships because these need looking at too).

I can't say it is all about ASD, things used to be okay much the way one poster wrote about being adored/breakfast in bed but this has changed over time, it's like there is a lack of effort there now too. Being peri-menopausal hasn't helped because I think in some ways it has allowed me to see things more clearly or maybe I've changed a lot through regular therapy. I'm not perfect - I have been guilty of a lot of those things listed on relationship difficulties relating to ADHD but the difference is I've done work around it so things are shifting within me whereas they aren't in DH.

WahineToa · 03/11/2022 10:10

Being peri-menopausal hasn't helped because I think in some ways it has allowed me to see things more clearly or maybe I've changed a lot through regular therapy.

I think perimenopause can be really really difficult and I think a lot of marriages regardless of any extra challenges, suffer an awful lot. I see it all the time with friends and I’m aware of the huge mood changes at this time for women. It isn’t, to me, a greater clarity that is gained during this time. Indeed you can read up on the psychological effects of dramatic hormone changes. We tend to actually not see things as they are at this time. Therapy and HRT helped me a lot, to understand myself and why I was frustrated. The drop in oxytocin can create feelings of resentment for women who have spent the previous decades devoted to family, and a change in the way we see our relationships. I would urge anyone experiencing problems in their marriage during this time to really consider how their own condition, menopause, is affecting the relationship and to remember that the symptoms that affect us the most do tend to go once post meno.

WahineToa · 03/11/2022 10:52

So I’ve only caught up to page 13!! But I see the disagreements here about these types of threads so I, as an NT partner of someone with ASD ( and one of kids also ) I think I’m allowed to also contribute from my perspective, even though I don’t have a ‘difficult’ relationship as such.

When autistic people come on here and make out that all these problems are nothing to do with autism and it’s just “marriage problems” and we’re ableist it does feel like we are the sacrificial lamb to their needs. We must give up on our needs for theirs because otherwise we’re being discriminatory.

So I firstly wanted to say, this comment and many others like it are failing to see what is being said and where the hurt is coming from. Us NT’s have a different way of communicating, not a superior way. So we always have a responsibility when it comes to miscommunications. Some of the issues you are all discussing are, for sure, related to the autism of your partners. I don’t think anyone has said all of the issues are nothing to do with autism? But, from my perspective there are an awful lot of issues being discussed that really are not about autism. I see many of you understand that and are looking to discuss it with others to figure that part out, right? I get that. But there are far too many posters with very poor understanding of autism, and indeed neurotypical behaviours too. It’s not like we don’t come with problems. Being led by our emotions is often really not a positive thing. Some of the things I know you’ve already touched on but I’d just like to point them out too. Many of the difficulties in your marriages are about:

  • perimenopause or menopause, this is a problem for those in NT relationships too and I think a cause of lots of divorces. If you are in peri, definitely read up about it and seek treatment if needed. It’s made a huge difference to us.
  • I see lots of ADHD partners of ASD people so it’s clear that is a factor
  • i also see lots of emotional manipulation coming from some of you, no partner will like that, autistic or not.
  • there’s far too many undiagnosed ASD, that is an issue. There’s a lot attributed to autism that isn’t autism and that’s because you don’t have a diagnosis or any understanding. I would be frustrated if I was autistic reading that. People choose not to look for one, fine, but then it’s really harsh to keep using the autism thing when you don’t even know.

My autistic child was telling me about her friend also diagnosed. My DD is very chill about her diagnosis and challenges, she has many, but her friend sees everything through the ‘ I am autistic’ lens. Everything about her is because she is autistic. My DD told her friend this and that she was making her life more difficult by doing this. Things like going out with her was an issue for example and she would try to force herself to be in situations she knew she couldn’t cope with. I thought it was a good bit of general advice from someone with autism that affects them every day, try not to see everything that happens and everything you think and do through your autism. It’s not always about the autism! I know a lot of you get that already. But I understand why a lot of this thread bothers ND people. Just because you love someone and are ‘trying so hard’ doesn’t mean you aren’t doing damage to them, to ND people reading this… so maybe just consider for a moment what they are saying. Especially around what autism actually is.

PS instead of ‘mild autism’, autism has a ‘mild impact on my life personally’!!

BleuNoir · 03/11/2022 11:27

“So we always have a responsibility when it comes to miscommunications”

Saying that to someone who has lived with an autistic partner for 20 years and done the work on my self for YEARS, while he stays static and does not change… so that I could stay in the marriage. Such a blithe comment, so loaded with responsibility, it makes me very very annoyed because it just continues to buy a pass for a lack of emotional reciprocity and understanding of what it is to be NT. I must understand you because you’re autistic but you don’t need to understand me or prioritise my well-being?? Ever??

Can it ever be me who gets to be put first?

Can it ever be me who gets a pass because I had a tough day?

Can it ever be me who doesn’t have to think of others?

Yes, with this quote you do expect us to be the sacrificial lamb.

It will always be our fault more than autistic partner’s fault…

And then you wonder why threads like this exist… 😫

WahineToa · 03/11/2022 11:45

@BleuNoir you know your response is such an extreme reaction to my measured comment here that it does throw up a lot of questions about how you communicate and how you deal with differences of opinion and viewpoint. If you talk like this to me after I took great efforts to be fair and considerate of everyone, tells me you are feeling a lot of rage at the moment. It drips from your words here.

So let’s address what you just said to me.

Saying that to someone who has lived with an autistic partner for 20 years and done the work on my self for YEARS, while he stays static and does not change… so that I could stay in the marriage. Such a blithe comment, so loaded with responsibility,

Ive lived with my autistic partner 30 years. Like I’ve said, I’m in the same position and have some insight. Nothing I said was a ‘blithe comment’. I would ask for the same respect that I’ve tried to give other posters and less of your animosity please.

I have no idea what work you have actually done, or what work your husband hasn’t. Typically, those with autism have to work very very hard all day long, at a lot of things. More than you or I do. So I know sometimes they relax so much at home that it can be hard on partners.
You seem so unhappy, so angry and so resentful. Can I understand that? Sure. But whatever work you have done, your anger directed at me right now leads me to think you are prone to misdirecting your frustrations and resentment. You are taking things so personally while getting angry at those with ND coming here taking your words so personally.

you don’t need to understand me or prioritise my well-being?? Ever??

I didn’t say that? If your partner is doing that, he’s a bad partner. It’s not autism. It’s not something I recognise in the many autistic people around me. I would never stay with someone like that.

Yes, with this quote you do expect us to be the sacrificial lamb.

No. nobody needs to be. That kind of language is misplaced here and not helpful within relationships to think like that. Everybody deserves a happy relationship that’s mutually beneficial and I don’t think people should stay long term if they don’t get what they need.

It will always be our fault more than autistic partner’s fault…

Or it’s nobody’s ‘fault’? The language is juvenile to me. Marriages breakdown for many reasons but almost all of them involve both the people in it. In individual scenarios, like for example, he never ever does housework… that would be something that is his/her responsibility fully. But the whole relationship itself, is about the two people in it and how they work it out, or not, together.

Not every NT person should or can be with someone who is ND. It just sometimes isn’t the right fit. This does not make it autisms fault, or the autistic persons fault. Or the NT’s. Relationships of any kind take work and in our situations they take something very different from relationships we have with other NT’s. That can then feel like a lot of work and more than other relationships. Because we are also essentially learning a whole new way of seeing the world. I understand this. I don’t think I’ve indicated in my previous comment that I don’t.

BleuNoir · 03/11/2022 12:50

"I would never stay with someone like that."

And there we have it, the simplistic reversion again.

I just can't with this response. I'm sorry, I just can't.

I've tried for 20 years. Yes I'm angry. Yes I feel cheated. I'm 47. It's not like I'm 18 and ready to date. I've got two kids with serious issues and no job or career to speak of because I gave it up to look after them.

But you know, just pack your bags BleuNoir and go... because it's THAT easy.

fuckthisforagameofdarts · 03/11/2022 13:03

BleuNoir · 03/11/2022 12:50

"I would never stay with someone like that."

And there we have it, the simplistic reversion again.

I just can't with this response. I'm sorry, I just can't.

I've tried for 20 years. Yes I'm angry. Yes I feel cheated. I'm 47. It's not like I'm 18 and ready to date. I've got two kids with serious issues and no job or career to speak of because I gave it up to look after them.

But you know, just pack your bags BleuNoir and go... because it's THAT easy.

Can we agree that no 2 people with autism are the same.
Some are more considerate and empathic than others.
My DH is both of those for practical things but not emotional.
No one is right or wrong here.
This should be a safe space for support.

Please no more bashing

fuckthisforagameofdarts · 03/11/2022 13:04

Bleunoir I didn't mean you were bashing

WahineToa · 03/11/2022 13:10

But you know, just pack your bags BleuNoir and go... because it's THAT easy.

Again, not said by anyone. I have trouble communicating with people who take something I say and twist it to say or mean something else. It’s manipulative. I stand by the actual words I wrote. Plenty of people leave their partners in your position. It’s always hard. It was very hard for my mother to leave my Dad 30 years ago with not much and 5 children. Of course you can decide to stay for all the above reasons or no reason at all. But your anger and resentment may make life for you, really unhappy. There are threads every day on MN where others advise leaving bad relationships. My advice is no different.

Yes I'm angry. Yes I feel cheated.

Don’t direct your anger towards me though. Emotions are emotions. We feel what we do and we try, as you say you have, to work through them. If you direct anger towards people too often, that can be hard for others and you too. I get angry too, but if I see myself taking it out on others I try and figure out why that is. What is it about me that makes you feel the need to be so angry at me? I’m calm and polite, I’m in the same position as yourself and I’m offering up my own story too. It’s not pleasant for me to be on the receiving end of your anger.

WahineToa · 03/11/2022 13:11

Can we agree that no 2 people with autism are the same

Absolutely! Same with NT’s. That’s why I said above sometimes it just isn’t the right fit. I fit well with ND people :)

catseyes54754857 · 03/11/2022 13:52

"I would never stay with someone like that."
And there we have it, the simplistic reversion again.
I just can't with this response. I'm sorry, I just can't.
I've tried for 20 years. Yes I'm angry. Yes I feel cheated. I'm 47. It's not like I'm 18 and ready to date. I've got two kids with serious issues and no job or career to speak of because I gave it up to look after them.
But you know, just pack your bags BleuNoir and go... because it's THAT easy.

BleuNoir, you have my sympathies. Similar boat, similar sentiments. I do see that I have not been easy to live with either but I've changed (through working on it) and we are not such a good fit as we once were. I am making no major decisions due to the perimenopause - it is difficult to see what impact this actually has due to hormone disruption so I can't just say it's the perimenopause causing all this but I need to give it the benefit of the doubt. Young DC's here too to consider. I am in the process of building my life back up again. Don't be hard on yourself Bleu for not making change easily...it really isn't that easy.

Regretthisfish · 03/11/2022 14:15

BleuNoir · 03/11/2022 12:50

"I would never stay with someone like that."

And there we have it, the simplistic reversion again.

I just can't with this response. I'm sorry, I just can't.

I've tried for 20 years. Yes I'm angry. Yes I feel cheated. I'm 47. It's not like I'm 18 and ready to date. I've got two kids with serious issues and no job or career to speak of because I gave it up to look after them.

But you know, just pack your bags BleuNoir and go... because it's THAT easy.

Another shout out of support for @BleuNoir .

Your response was the one that was reasonable based on what you are have and are living. I hear your loss, your grief, your pain, your frustration. Those who haven't lived it just don't get it. Don't engage with them. You can't make someone listen who does not wish to understand.

Everyone, everyone here who has been, and is, where you are, can hear how moderately you toned your response compared to what your reality is.

I hear you. I see you.

Regretthisfish · 03/11/2022 14:24

Please no more bashing Bleunoir I didn't mean you were bashing

Yeah, I agree. Its not @BleuNoir that I have heard doing the bashing and attacking here.

WahineToa · 03/11/2022 14:31

Is that directed at me? I’m not bashing at all. I can’t see what the issue is with what I’ve said? I am married to an autistic man, have children, 1 autistic and chronic illness. Sometimes life has been very challenging. What would I not understand? This thread is support for partners of autism, yes?

WahineToa · 03/11/2022 14:32

I find this response incredibly unwelcoming, whoever it’s directed at.

BleuNoir · 03/11/2022 14:36

Regretthisfish · 03/11/2022 14:15

Another shout out of support for @BleuNoir .

Your response was the one that was reasonable based on what you are have and are living. I hear your loss, your grief, your pain, your frustration. Those who haven't lived it just don't get it. Don't engage with them. You can't make someone listen who does not wish to understand.

Everyone, everyone here who has been, and is, where you are, can hear how moderately you toned your response compared to what your reality is.

I hear you. I see you.

Thank you. Just thank you for acknowledging the deep pain that my life has been. How hard the last 20 years has been. What an utter utter struggle it has been to stay. I’ve done it for everyone else but me.