Do men find affairs hot?

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I know this sounds silly.. but for example. If a man is cheating on his wife, you will always hear of the OW confessing to the wife in some way or another, whether it's a one night stand or full on long term affair.

However, men don't usually care if women have a partner, and will actively pursue knowing they are taken. You never hear of OM telling the husband?

What does everyone think?

I think Yes …OM find it ‘hot’ they get to shag another man’s wife.

I know a woman who liked to have affairs with married blokes (she was also married). She found the malicious aspect (ie secretly knifing the wife, being at social events with the couple knowing more than the wife etc) very arousing.

I think this too.. because when men find out I have a boyfriend, it's as if it turns them on?

Yup.

Iv also had male friends in the past who have also said it to me.

@Becky6758 interesting! What did they say about it? I wish more men were on here to grab their perspective, because DP would just say no that's not the case 🤣

Only the men that are cunts.

Decent men don’t want to think of the woman they’re with fucking another man.

@LoveInNashville interesting! It's been common for me.

Another sweeping statement...you forget the women these men are shagging. They must equally think affairs are 'hot' or it wouldn't happen would it! Therefore 50 fucking 50.

Decent men don’t want to think of the woman they’re with fucking another man

God. So many men are into the idea of their partners fucking other men… there’s a whole scene. Sometimes they’re there when it happens. Some men are obviously into the whole traditional monogamy side but I doubt that’s about decency - that’s about possession

@LoveInNashville interesting! It's been common for me.

That’s because lots of men are cunts.

? I agree but I'm explaining OW usually come forward, OM usually don't.

Not my experience. Raise the bar.

I dont know about them finding affairs hot but I do agree that men don't go telling the husband/partner.
I know of two people/experiences..both men had easy access and opportunities to tell the woman's oh and never did.
One threatened to tell her hubby..he knew his FB and name etc but never went ahead with it. Even when she was being really nasty to him. He could have easily ruined her life by sending her text thread to her DH but never did..
I always find that really interesting. I know women actually enjoy telling the wife/oh. I think it does say alot about men as a positive aspect.

I asked my DH this question and he said on behalf of all the men who have ever lived on the planet, he then went on a speech about feminism and how men are not gentlemen anymore. I asked him the question while we were shopping at Aldi and a few people overheard him and started going up to us and congratulating him and shaking his hand, then someone offered to buy our groceries. I love him so much 💞💞

Someone posted on here once that women expect other women to show no interest in their husbands as a mark of respect, whereas men expect other men to be attracted to their wives. I think there is broadly some truth in that, although actually taking this forward into an affair is grim and most people are decent enough not to.

Makes complete sense!

I don't think it can be applied as a male or female trait, personally. I think people who are more likely to expose their AP do so because of hurt emotions.

But I do believe that the rule 'when choosing your affair partner, always choose someone who has more to lose than you do', is something that, stereotypically, men are often in a much stronger position.

Simple reason men don't come forward to the husband or partner is they don't want to be swallowing their teeth!

LoveInNashville · Today 20:45
Only the men that are cunts.
Decent men don’t want to think of the woman they’re with fucking another man.

Not sure that is true Nashville.
I have a mate who was having an affair with his sister in law. He used to go out for a drink with her DH. The DH used to moan about his wife not giving too much in the bedroom department (no oral or anal). My mate used to try and tell him how to get her to give him both. He did this because she did them for him.

It’s not about raising the bar. Just because it’s not your experience doesn’t really mean anything.

Its a kink in lots of relationships. Stop being so narrow minded.

@Becky6758 exactly!

Some of the things Iv been told I can’t repeat on here.

mumsnetters isn’t the place.

And it’s only not the place as the typical folk of MN would have a heart attack😅

Ahhh bugger! I know what you mean!