Wondering why men these days always want to see their partner with other men..

[airpodcushion]

It's become a trend.

When I was single, most men I spoke to said they get off to the idea of me with other men, wanted to know about past experiences, things like that in detail, would be open to sharing me with another guy.

I've just spoken with another friend who's single, and she's been getting the same from men. Wanting to know who she's having sex with, and in great detail. We don't date the same type of men or even have mutual friends or circles, so it's not that. I see this "fetish" on MN a lot too.

What is causing this to spike? Why is it happening?

Porn, I'd guess.

I dont think they do in general. I think the casual sex scene has changed, and lots of people are wanting to do stuff youd only see in quite niche porn. Tell them to piss off if theyre being cheeky and youre not into that

They don't always.

I think attitudes around sex have changed sufficiently enough that an increasing number of people feel they can be open about what turns them on and raise exploring it with a partner. Just the same as there are more openly gay people today than there were in 1960: there hasn’t been a “spike” in “gayness”, just greater acceptance of it.

Though personally I don’t know any men who particularly want to see their partner with another man. I know several who wouldn’t be especially threatened by it in a group sex setting, but none who’d specifically seek it out.

You mean asking because hearing you tell it turns them in, rather than to get an idea of your preferences? If so, probably porn and the normalisation of getting your rocks off as a non-participant.

@MandyRice yep! that's the one. They hear it as a turn on.

Same with pegging, that’s all Over Tinder at the moment. I have no issue with what people want to do but butting it on their profile is just grim to me. ‘Hi I’m Steve, I like walking, red wine and love to be pegged’ literally every 4th profile

“butting it on their profile” 😂

@Donotgogentle when not proof reading wins 😂😂

Porn, and also as a gateway into an open relationship.

It’s a short jump from being with another man because your husband is begging you, but then suddenly he would like to eat some cake too but you need to be around to do the food shop and clean the shower.

An underlying sense of inadequacy that many men feel about their love lives but are too frightened/don't know how to admit. Its prevalence in porn then exacerbates this

There can also be a lot of pressure on men regarding sex, especially as they get older - making sure they perform, can keep an erection, don't come too early or too late, worrying whether their partner is enjoying it or not. Watching someone else do it provides much of the arousal but takes away the responsibilities

I would love if you can expand on this - do you think this is the reason there seems to be a trend in more men being submissive/giving money (paypigs) etc? They feel inadequate?

Not sure if it's the only reason, but my ex was into this, kink (submissive), and later wanted an open relationship. After splitting up, he transitioned but still prefers being with women. He did watch a lot of porn.

Porn.
They fried their brains with that shit.
A lot of men just see women as something to fulfil their sexual fantasies on.

I suppose it’s becoming more acceptable to ask for what you really want, in the same way that true open relationships (not just shagging) and poly is more openly discussed and more driven by women

Pre-internet porn: straight man meets a beautiful woman and wants to shag her.

Post-internet porn: straight man meets a beautiful woman and wants to imagine someone else shagging her while he has a wank, because too much porn has made some men see sex not as a moment of intimate connection between two people but as an individual and solipsistic act of content consumption.

I suspect there were always men who got off on it, but didn't know how to ask for it without becoming a social pariah. I think porn and social media means it's easier to talk about it and find like-minded people without having to plant pampas grass by your front window.

Great post. They want to "own their own porn actress" in order to stage manage their wank-fests

Summed up perfectly

Yeah it's the porn again. This shit is destroying our society.

Very popular in the Latin porn watchers world apparently! One of the most popular searches on porn sites too apparently.

‘I suppose it’s becoming more acceptable to ask for what you really want, in the same way that true open relationships (not just shagging) and poly is more openly discussed and more driven by women’

Came on to basically say this.

‘Yeah it's the porn again. This shit is destroying our society.’

How exactly is ‘our society’ being destroyed?

Probably down to dick size, seeing a partner get well a truly 'ploughed'. Must be a relatively new thing, personally I couldn't think of anything worse. I certainly haven't met anyone that gers off on this kind of thing but obviously there are.