Wondering why men these days always want to see their partner with other men..

[airpodcushion]

It's become a trend.

When I was single, most men I spoke to said they get off to the idea of me with other men, wanted to know about past experiences, things like that in detail, would be open to sharing me with another guy.

I've just spoken with another friend who's single, and she's been getting the same from men. Wanting to know who she's having sex with, and in great detail. We don't date the same type of men or even have mutual friends or circles, so it's not that. I see this "fetish" on MN a lot too.

What is causing this to spike? Why is it happening?

Perfectly put.

I've never met a man like this...i must be old

Most men are not like this, but it seems there is a significant minority that get a thrill from seeing or fantasizing about their partner with another man - the cuckolding emotion that is painful, yet pleasurable at the same time, for them, I think.

For most such men it is just a fantasy, and will remain so, and faced with the reality of seeing their wives and partners having sex with another man would be too difficult in the raw actuality. I suppose there are some marriages where the dynamic works, but there can't be that many!

I sure as hell don't! I rather suspect this is a form of confirmation bias, like noting that suddenly loads of people are driving yellow cars before your attention was drawn to it. Perhaps, in the absence of actual data, you could ask on AIBU something like AIBU or does everyone's other half want to see them with another man.

Just one more follow up

wanted to know about past experiences, things like that in detail

Absolutely agree that's outrageous, but it's likely about sexist views about who is and isn't allowed to sleep with multiple partners rather than wanting multi-partner experiences. None of your business is the appropriate response. If that doesn't work try "why didn't your previous partners appreciate you sexually?" :)

Do you mean like law or attraction confirmation bias?  @sussexman

@autumnleavesfalls It appears I do!, although I'd honestly not heard of the "Law of Attraction". Perhaps, really I intended "priming bias" btw. I didn't intend to imply cherry-picking results exactly.

It's Limbic capitalism.
Porn has not only physically rewired the brain, but expectations have also changed. I'm certainly not turned on by the thought of my partner with someone else, not even from a fantasy standpoint.

And poly isn't as popular as advocates like to make out, and neither is it without challenges.

Ive never felt the need for this. Im straight guy and all my attention is with the woman im with at the time. Yeah some guys have all kinds of fantasies and weird fetishes. Im open minded and still young enough to learn a few new things lol 😉

It's their own live porn show

I'll stick with my cats.

I'll stick with my cats.

I really don't think my boyfriend would enjoy that.

All men don’t always - some men might and they reasons are multiple but tarring all men with the same brush isn’t helpful or accurate.

Yuck. I’ve learned things on this site that I would rather not have known. Pegging being one of them.

My bf finds it a turn on, and for women who enjoy the idea of a threesome or moresome it would give an outlet for those desires that a standard relationship would not.

Anyone else had to Google pegging?

Pegging is one thing I'm not into, although was speaking to a guy from OLD who wanted to try it. I wouldn't find it a turn on and would be worried I'd do it wrong frankly

This has summed up perfectly why I find porn and new attitudes to sex so upsetting. I could never quite verbalise it. I know sex isn't always a grand emotional declaration of love, but even at a base level, I feel it should be about expressing a connection (even if that connection is 'I just really fancy you a lot').

The way people speak about it now - it's like a tick list of stuff that you just do to someone, to say you've done it. The individual involved is almost irrelevant - just a scratching post to satisfy an itch you have.

I would absolutely not enjoy seeing my partner with another man. Never something that was appealing to me in any way shape or form.

My wife however...she expressed a theoretical interest in seeing me with another woman, though also made it clear she'd never actually want to go through with it. Her interest was twofold. She wanted to see what I looked like from a different point of view, but her main reason was that she wanted to feel sexual jealousy, as that is a huge turn on for her.

I agree that porn has made this more popular. It’s always pushing the boundaries. Really fear for young people today and girls feeling all sorts is par for the course. What ever happened to romantic sex…

Porn has ruined romance.

Women don't have to entertain this shit at all. I'd advise your friend to shut these guys down instead of listening to their bs.

Narcissistic world we live. The government earns money off porn . It is also a way of controlling society. Especially those who are not emotionally Intelligent... its worth listening to philosophers about society

My partner would be horrified to 'share' me.

I would literally run from a man who suggests this. It shows his emotional intelligence is zero. His respect for women is zero and he has a real lack of understanding about what intimacy is.

Eugh.

I wrote something in response to another post last week and I'll say it again. For some people sex has less importance than eating a packet of crisps.