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Original poster

Not sure my dh likes me anymore!

99 replies

changedmyname2022 · 29/07/2022 18:50

Name changed for this because a few other posts of mine are identifying.

He may love me I'm not sure but he definitely doesn't like me let alone fancy me.

17 years together, 10 married and 3 children (14, 10 & 8).

Currently on holiday and it was going to be my "fuck it holiday" because I haven't lost the weight I wanted to but I was determined to take photos with my kids, wear my swimming costume and just have fun. Trouble is husband clearly wasn't feeling the same and has done nothing except point out extremely attractive slim women, ask me if I "need that" when I'm eating something, tell me that we are definitely dieting when we get home and generally just make me feel like like shit. We were at a market today having a wander and letting the kids buy crap when I saw a beach dress I liked so I started to look and he said "don't get any ideas because that won't fit", we then went to the beach where he was talking about what a waste our gym membership is but then told me he is buying me sessions with a PT when we get home. I did say "wow you know how to cheer me up" but all he said was that I need help!

We have two rooms at the hotel and last night he chose to sit on his balcony with our 14 year old even though I said why don't we sit together, his answer was "no thanks I'm alright on mine" 🤷‍♀️

He is clearly disgusted by me and I'm just getting the general feeling that I'm an annoyance and that he doesn't really like me much anymore.

Im 43, 5'6" and a size 18 so yes I'm big but I'm not on the verge of needing a crane to get me out of the house. Also peri menopausal so may just being massively over sensitive.

I just want to go home but we have another 8 days to go. No idea what I want anyone to say, I'm just really upset.

OP posts:
YesitsJacqueline · 29/07/2022 18:56

I'm guessing you are married to Brad Pitt? No I thought not !
Yes you are overweight , so are most women around our age,whether you want to do something about that is up to you .
But your husband is an arse ,and to be honest there's not much you can do about that , except for the " husband " part !

I'd make the most of your holiday for the sake of the kids but I'd not engage with him at all , and while hes enjoying his time on his balcony you should be researching your options as a single woman .

quietnightmare · 29/07/2022 18:57

He is a PIG.
DO NOT let him get to you and eat and wear what you want. Make the most of this holiday show him how fun you are and then dump his butt when you get back.
Is he an oil painting complete with chiselled abs? He must be to have the cheek to say or act the way he does. If he isn't happy he needs to be man enough to tell you it's over not belittle you or force you to change your body to suit him

YesitsJacqueline · 29/07/2022 18:58

You are not being over sensitive he knows exactly what he is doing . Find a good divorce lawyer and look to the future

Chobbers · 29/07/2022 19:00

I don’t think you are over sensitive- I think he is a nasty piece of work.
Have you ever done a critique of his looks and body? If not, perhaps you should.

I also think that you should give some careful thought to any future with this man - do you even want one?

LizzieSiddal · 29/07/2022 19:06

Has he just been like this in holiday or is he always like this?

His comments are absolutely horrible but I have to confess Ive worried in the past about my dh’s weight. I’m afraid I did in the end get cross with him and make some comments I shouldn’t have (although never on holday) as I was so worried (his brother had a stroke at 50, and both his mum and brother have diabetes). My comments did shock him into losing weight, but I really wish I didn’t need to have gone that far.

Has he spoken to you about being worried about your health or is he only worried about what he thinks you look like?

Mamato3boysand2dogs · 29/07/2022 19:19

Oh love, that is so cruel.

I'd be thinking about ending the marriage if i were you. He will continue to erode your self esteem until he destroys you. Horrible arsehole of a man.

Is HE is prime physical fitness or something?? A gym freak?? Super buff?? These guys can be hyper critical. Size 18 is overweight but nothing major.

PortalooSunset · 29/07/2022 19:43

Holy shit what a prick he is! Well there's around 12 stone you can lose in one go!!

D0lphine · 29/07/2022 20:00

I think ignore him for the rest of your holiday.

Then go and see a solicitor when you're home. That's no way to live is it?

Runaround50 · 29/07/2022 20:05

What an arse! Enjoy the rest if your holiday and then find a good solicitor when you get home x

RedRobyn2021 · 29/07/2022 20:31

Wow wow wow

If I heard him speaking to you like that I would be saying something

What a disgusting pig

D0lphine · 29/07/2022 20:37

I assume you've told him to fuck off, stop making shorty comments and enjoy the holiday?

Jun345 · 29/07/2022 20:42

I cannot not reply to this - he sounds awful and cruel. You could be a size 28 and it would still be completely out of order for your husband to say this / treat you this way / make you feel so shit. I’m so sorry. If it were me personally I would prioritise losing the husband over losing the weight!! X

YRGAM · 29/07/2022 20:51

He sounds like a really horrible bastard. Is it worth you having a proper conversation with him about how his cruelty is making you feel?

Pashazade · 29/07/2022 20:56

I'm your size, well slightly bigger to be perfectly honest more of a size 20, my husband would never ever talk to me like that. We both know we could do with losing weight but if we talk about it we are trying to find solutions together and it is never to shame the other. Does he have form for talking to you like this, because it's horrible and probably makes the kids really uncomfortable.

bluegardenflowers · 29/07/2022 21:00

Its not nice at all. On the one hand he is entitled to not fancy an overweight woman, however he is not allowed to criticise and belittle the mother of his children and his life partner.

I bet he's no adonis

Afterfire · 29/07/2022 21:02

I’m the same age and size as you. I can’t believe how cruel he’s being!!!

What an absolute DICK.

I hope you tell him to fuck off every time he says such horrid things?

Pack yourself and the kids up and stay somewhere else???

I hope you leave him when you get home.

wheresmymojo · 29/07/2022 21:07

I'm a size 22 and my DH is a personal trainer with a typical personal trainer physique.

He would never, ever talk to me like that. Not even one of those multiple things your DH said.

And if he did he'd wish he hadn't TBH.

winterchills · 29/07/2022 21:12

He's an absolute dick!! When you get back kick his horrible arse out!

SpotlessMind88 · 29/07/2022 21:13

I hate that he is saying these things to you. He sounds absolutely horrible. I bet he doesn't look like Chris Hemsworth does he?
use his own words and actions against him. Point out really hot muscular men on the beach. But also don't let him bring you down. Stay on your Balcony, have fun with your kids. When you're indulging i would
pile the plate high to really piss him off.
your body is yours and his thoughts and comments can fuck off.

Staynow · 29/07/2022 21:15

I would concentrate on having loads of fun with the kids and leave him to do his own (miserable) thing.

YRGAM · 29/07/2022 21:17

Mamato3boysand2dogs · 29/07/2022 19:19

Oh love, that is so cruel.

I'd be thinking about ending the marriage if i were you. He will continue to erode your self esteem until he destroys you. Horrible arsehole of a man.

Is HE is prime physical fitness or something?? A gym freak?? Super buff?? These guys can be hyper critical. Size 18 is overweight but nothing major.

It wouldn't matter even if he were an Adonis, nobody should be talking to anybody else like OPs husband is talking to her - especially not your OH

beenanddoneit · 29/07/2022 21:22

YesitsJacqueline · 29/07/2022 18:56

I'm guessing you are married to Brad Pitt? No I thought not !
Yes you are overweight , so are most women around our age,whether you want to do something about that is up to you .
But your husband is an arse ,and to be honest there's not much you can do about that , except for the " husband " part !

I'd make the most of your holiday for the sake of the kids but I'd not engage with him at all , and while hes enjoying his time on his balcony you should be researching your options as a single woman .

Perhaps you should tell him....yes I am overweight and you're an arsehole..if I put my mind to it I can lose weight..you, on the other hand.....

Aquamarine1029 · 29/07/2022 21:25

There's got to be more to this than just your weight. It seems to me he's trying to make you leave him.

1982mommaof4 · 29/07/2022 22:13

OP I'm sorry, my husband sometimes makes me feel shitty on holiday( or maybe it's my insecurities)

Some of the things he has said are really mean... just try and enjoy your holiday with the kids xx

Geppili · 29/07/2022 23:00

What @beenanddoneit said. He is a sadistic prick. Is he faithful?