I'm not invited to the christening of my friends baby.....

[tvgatlop]

Today is my friends little boys christening.
I wasn't invited.
She is my best friend of 20 years.
She has 2 friends me and another girl she works with....this girl is the godmother.

I'm gutted.
We speak most days,she rings me etc
Have days out for birthdays /Christmas

They are going to church then going for a meal at a fancy estate.
I'm gutted that I'm not invited
I could understand if she had lots of friends ..but there's just 2.

Would you be upset too?
She said I hope your not upset about the no invite ...she said it's just family and godparents (but obviously still hurts )

@billy1966 tbh at the minute I can't imagine speaking to her.
I know it might sound a bit petty but if I'm not good enough to get a invite ...ring the godmother to vent at

Urgh, the more you say, the worse your friend gets

You are her comfort blanket & free counsellor, but she values that so little, that she thinks it's perfectly okay to treat you like absolute crap. You sound like a wonderful friend. She definitely does not

if I'm not good enough to get a invite ...ring the godmother to vent at

I think you should say this to be honest. You’re good enough to vent to but that’s it? Nope.

One cheaper Christmas for you op...

Godmother's DM at christening and partner's friends and their children too. Ahh OP I'd be really upset over this. I totally agree with Billy1966 who always seems to give good advice. Im guilty of letting things slide and not quitting relationships when I should. But I cant see a way back from this. Its like a bereavement when you realise relationships weren't what you thought. It took me a long time to recover from the loss of a friend after i cut ties when he blindsided me. I shed a tear most days for 6 weeks afterwards. You need time to come to terms with what her actions mean abd the implications it has for you x

That would be my attitude 100% completely, so good for you.

My friend was recently in a vaguely similar situation earlier this year.

Another friend had recently gotten into the habit of ringing her a lot and dumping on her, and she was finding it a just a bit much.

Anyway she told me she ran into a mutal friend who said "did you hear X's wonderful news etc" and my friend hadn't, even though she had been in contact with her several times.

She had a light bulb moment and told me that she realised that she reserves her complaints for me.
She said " well fxxk that" to me.
She was deeply irritated by the realisation.

Next phone call came and my friend who is very kindly direct, told her that she was tired of listening to her complaining and was seriously unimpressed to hear her great news from mutual friend.

Friend apologised profusely and my friend accepted it, but told me she hadn't a notion of listening to her going forward.

.....still friends but she has firmly downgraded the friendship.

We teach people how to treat us and being too much of a kind ear invariably bites us in the ass.

I've been there, got the tee shirt, learnt from it the hard way, and have not been caught out again.

It's so true isn't it
The kinder you are -the more you seem to get the mick took out of you.
For my own sanity I'm taking a step back now

Why weren't you invited?

@girlmom21 answer on a postcard ....

Ask yourself...what do you actually get out of this friendship anyway? It sounds a bit one sided if she phones everyday to bend your ear about her troubles? Does she ever ask how you are or listen to your troubles? I have a friend like that who always acts surprised when I have some major life event on FB she's like you didn't tell me that. I always think no because you only wanted to talk about yourself last time we spoke and I could barely get a word in edgeways. We are still friends but I have low expectations lol.

It's tough OP, and I feel for you.

I suspect the person i think of as my closest friend sees our relationship quite differently.

I've just resolved to carry on with that knowledge.
I haven't pulled back from it, and continue to give what i can when needed.

But he's never done something like this.

I think i would probably withdraw a little in that circumstance.
Do you think she would notice and comment?

If so, i would probably have to say something.

You could position it as being partly your fault for misinterpreting the depth of your friendship (although written down that looks a little passive-aggressive too).

She isn't a friend I'd distance myself from her, she could have had you there too, one extra person. She's not a nice person. X

I just saw the bit about the pictures going up I'd be fuming and if he asked me out for a meal ect I'd say no and would only say hello in the street. X

Exactly. Commicate with your "friend" some people have a bloody cheek!

Thanks everyone for being so nice
I honestly expected a few harsh replies -telling me to get a grip or something ha ha
I'm going to knock on the head kids birthday /Xmas presents too...
I'm such a soft hearted person and yesterday most of the day was spent getting a bit tearful
Trying to work out how I could of been a better friend etc -but I honestly don't think it's anything I could have done

If she rang me I'd have to say, I'm really sorry I think our friendship has come to the end of the line, I saw the pictures on Facebook it clearly wasn't just family and God parents, I'm nobody's fool, don't take me for one and put the phone down. No amount of apologies would change this for me. I'd be done her loss. X

How ironic I organised the baby shower ....anyway today's a new day isn't it
No point feeling sorry for myself

FFS OP

You organised the baby shower!
She's not a friend, you're just her daily unpaid therapist.
I wouldn't answer her calls, and if she manages to talk to you some other way just grey rock her.

This.

Just awful.

I feel sorry for you and annoyance at this.

No one needs people like this in their life.

They really don't.

Oh op, I really feel for you. How strange that she didn’t invite you. Gosh people are weird!

I would definitely take a step back. She doesn’t deserve your friendship at all. That would be the end for me.

You sound absolutely lovely. Don’t waste your time on her. There are plenty of other people out there who will appreciate you.

Move on darling 💐

I'd feel so hurt too Op, that's a horrible way for her to treat you. I'd struggle to get past this if I'm honest.

I’ve been in this situation before it hurts but she doesn’t think as much of your friendship as you do and takes you for granted x

I would feel completely the same.
There is no need to think you could have been a better friend. I think she could have been a better friend.
It's natural to feel sad about losing your friend, but it will get better. Just distance yourself from everything.
🌻

Are you ok OP? It’s astounding how many of these selfish cows there are running around. I’m sorry you have been so hurt - it’s a horrible feeling to find out that someone you cherished as a friend can be so callous and insensitive. You are worth 1000 of her! Her loss!!

Ugh this is not ok and she is not the friend you thought she was. From the way she’s behaved it’s clear she won’t be giving a moments thought about how you feel while you’re upset and giving it headspace it doesn’t deserve.
it’s horrible having your trust broken like this and taken advantage of. sending you lots of love x