He's been in a foul mood the entire morning. He's supposed to be looking after our DC (today is his day to do that, we have one day each per week to stay home with her and she's at childcare the other 3 days). Just so happens I'm off work sick today, though, so all 3 of us home together. He's been like a bear with a sore head following a disagreement about whether or not to put the pool up in the garden. That's it. Nothing even important or major. We just had a different opinion on it. He was a moody arse, walked away from me as I was talking to him, so I asked him what the hell was wrong, why is he being like this. Nothing's wrong he says. Right.
He says he's going to do the food shop. Says he will take DD. Right, great. He starts loading stuff into the car including her changing bag. DD then poos. I say "please can you just hold off putting the changing bag in the car, she's pooed, I'll change her before you go". He shouts back as he's walking away with the bag "just use the wipes on the kitchen table". I reply "I might also need the lotion, though - can I please just have the bag?" He grumpily brings it back, sighing. Then goes off outside in the garden.
There are no cotton pads in the bag - I realise they are upstairs, and DD is trying to pull off her nappy (new habit she's got into). I shout his name. No reply. I shout again. He shouts back "what?" in a shitty tone. I say please could you help me a second (don't want to leave DD to pull her dirty nappy off). He comes in, I ask could he please run upstairs for cotton pads. He sighs/huffs again, goes upstairs. Comes back down and then comes really close to me and goes "stop speaking to me like shit"; then walks away.
I said "me?? Are you joking? You've done nothing but speak to me like shit all morning!"
I then point out he's been like a bear with a sore head since the pool disagreement, walking away from me mid conversation, quiet and moody, huffing about the place, trying to put the changing bag in the car when I needed it (pointless, why would you do that?), and then being abrupt when I shouted his name asking for help when changing her.
He then went "right, I'm off, you can do the shopping yourself".
And off he sped in his car. I'm home not feeling well, looking after our toddler on my own, ok what is supposed to be his day to look after her. And now I am also responsible for the food shop which he has decided he's not doing.
Tried calling a few times to ask him when he's coming home, he answered one call and said "I'm not speaking to you, you're out of order, I'm not coming home", then hung up immediately. I tried calling back, numerous times over the past hour or so, he's ignoring my calls.
I text him saying "do you really think it's appropriate to just walk out on me and DD like that, leaving me to do everything today including the shopping when I'm not well?"
He replied "I haven't walked out on her, I've walked out on you. Don't use her". 
erm,., you've literally just walked out and left her here??
And that's that. So what the fuck do I do? Is he an arsehole or is he being reasonable here??
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Relationships
Partner has just walked out on me and 15 month old
stressedhadenough · 20/07/2022 15:20
stressedhadenough · 20/07/2022 15:51
He's a good Dad to her, when he's here
stressedhadenough · 20/07/2022 15:56
He's back and I just know he's going to lay all the blame with me
stressedhadenough · 20/07/2022 15:56
He's back and I just know he's going to lay all the blame with me
Triffid1 · 20/07/2022 16:14
Going slightly against the grain here... yes, he's been an idiot but.... it was his day to look after dd, you are supposed to be ill, but you are trying to.organise and decide everything. It sounds like he is actually quite willing and able to look after her, is happy to get her along while he does chores (annoyingly rare IME), and yet you are telling him.constantly what to do.
I would say that you should have disappeared to the bedroom with a cheery, "so glad you are in charge" wave and left them to it.
BlindGirlMcSqueaky · 20/07/2022 16:22
Have you ever dated someone who storms off all the time? It's absolutely exhausting, not to mention then having them blame you for making them do it. No amount of parenting or chores makes up for it.
Triffid1 · 20/07/2022 16:14
Going slightly against the grain here... yes, he's been an idiot but.... it was his day to look after dd, you are supposed to be ill, but you are trying to.organise and decide everything. It sounds like he is actually quite willing and able to look after her, is happy to get her along while he does chores (annoyingly rare IME), and yet you are telling him.constantly what to do.
I would say that you should have disappeared to the bedroom with a cheery, "so glad you are in charge" wave and left them to it.
Triffid1 · 20/07/2022 16:28
No. But I recognise myself in the op. I had an annoying tendency to try to co trol.everything when I was home. There were all kinds if reasons for that, some.legitimate and some not. But dh did get v v annoyed at times and looking back, I don't blame him. In our case, what would happen is that dh would tell ME to go out so that he could sort dc alone.
And yes, I think sometimes how he did that wasn't how I wojkd have done it (and my way would havr been better!), but actually, I WAS in the wrong for over complicating things and getting in the way.
She didn't need to change the baby. If she had to change the baby, she should have got on with it instead of making it a 2 person job, whatever HE wanted to do with the paddling pool should have been done as HE was the one who would be with thr baby..
BlindGirlMcSqueaky · 20/07/2022 16:22
Have you ever dated someone who storms off all the time? It's absolutely exhausting, not to mention then having them blame you for making them do it. No amount of parenting or chores makes up for it.
Triffid1 · 20/07/2022 16:14
Going slightly against the grain here... yes, he's been an idiot but.... it was his day to look after dd, you are supposed to be ill, but you are trying to.organise and decide everything. It sounds like he is actually quite willing and able to look after her, is happy to get her along while he does chores (annoyingly rare IME), and yet you are telling him.constantly what to do.
I would say that you should have disappeared to the bedroom with a cheery, "so glad you are in charge" wave and left them to it.
Suprima · 20/07/2022 15:39
A genuinely nice loving man wouldn’t even act like this as one off
anyone who says otherwise is kidding themselves
leave him, he’s a cunt and will act like this intermittently even if he goes back to ‘normal’ in between
Triffid1 · 20/07/2022 16:28
No. But I recognise myself in the op. I had an annoying tendency to try to co trol.everything when I was home. There were all kinds if reasons for that, some.legitimate and some not. But dh did get v v annoyed at times and looking back, I don't blame him. In our case, what would happen is that dh would tell ME to go out so that he could sort dc alone.
And yes, I think sometimes how he did that wasn't how I wojkd have done it (and my way would havr been better!), but actually, I WAS in the wrong for over complicating things and getting in the way.
She didn't need to change the baby. If she had to change the baby, she should have got on with it instead of making it a 2 person job, whatever HE wanted to do with the paddling pool should have been done as HE was the one who would be with thr baby..
BlindGirlMcSqueaky · 20/07/2022 16:22
Have you ever dated someone who storms off all the time? It's absolutely exhausting, not to mention then having them blame you for making them do it. No amount of parenting or chores makes up for it.
Triffid1 · 20/07/2022 16:14
Going slightly against the grain here... yes, he's been an idiot but.... it was his day to look after dd, you are supposed to be ill, but you are trying to.organise and decide everything. It sounds like he is actually quite willing and able to look after her, is happy to get her along while he does chores (annoyingly rare IME), and yet you are telling him.constantly what to do.
I would say that you should have disappeared to the bedroom with a cheery, "so glad you are in charge" wave and left them to it.
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stressedhadenough · 20/07/2022 15:44
@Teaandcrumpets95
This is his usual default response to any arguments or disagreements. He fucks off and leaves everything to me, with no indication of when he's going to be back.
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