DP loves me but doesn't fancy me

[brokenheartedsad]

My long term partner has said he absolutely adores who I am, but no longer finds me sexually attractive. We are fairly young, no kids. He is unsure what to do and is suggesting we split up as he doesn't want to hurt me. Is there a way back from this? My heart is broken. He was/is my best friend.

No. Happens a lot but usually when you have kids. Have to split I’m afraid in this situation.

No way back from that. You can’t turn attraction off and on and you can’t stay in a relationship with someone who’s said that to you, it’ll shred your self esteem. It’s run its course and that’s sad but I’d accept his decision and not try and fight him on it. It must really hurt, I’m sorry.

That’s very hard to cope with Op. Has he said why he feels this way.

He's probably trying to tell you tactfully that it's over...

Ive known someone have this happen to them. It's been like watching a slow painful death. Her self esteem is in tatters andthey hate each other.

Leave him

Oh you poor thing! That must be such a blow to your confidence.

Has your appearance drastically changed?! Im wondering why he said he "no longer" fancies you. It sounds like he did at the start?

That's hard. I'm so sorry. Move on though. You're v young still and you'll meet someone else who will find you attractive and will be your best friend too

When this happened to me it was because my exH had met someone else. I regret not walking away from him the very minute he told me he didn’t find me attractive anymore. In time, I met someone lovely who does fancy me.

I'm really sorry but I think it's over.

There's no way back from this I don't think. I don't know how you'd ever be able to feel secure in the relationship. I'm really sorry OP.

Sounds like a line from The Cheater’s Script. It sounds like it’s over, and it’s possible he’s already met someone else.

Thanks all. My looks haven’t changed, maybe slight weight gain but not much. I’m often approached by blokes. I’m told I’m very attractive. So no idea what’s changed.

He says he’s confused and loves me very much. I don’t understand it.

You never will understand it, don't try to.

Usually means their head has been turned.... in my experience anyway.

Must hurt like hell, so sorry OP. Please do not beg. X

That's man speak for it's over, he's met someone else and he wants you to go quietly.

Sorry.

I agree with Giselle... sadly, there is probably someone else. The whole 'I love you but I'm not in love with you' is as old as the hills - sorry

He’s probably met someone else. Men are very easily led.

💐

I would say he is not unsure at all but he is just trying to soften the blow. Leave him to it.

He can love you and not fancy you anymore just like you can fancy someone/shag them but not fall in love with someone.

Either way cut your losses you deserve the full package.

Sorry - this is awful for you and in no way easy, but please leave with dignity. It's over.

I’m so sorry op. Defo sounds like a cherchez la femme situation to me too. Time to move on

Should I ask him if there is someone else

He won't tell you the truth OP. Keep your dignity and leave him and be mindful that he might come back if the OW doesn't want him.

I’d spend less time worrying about cherchez La femme and more about extracting yourself from this relationship.

Let him be confused elsewhere whilst you heal. His actions will show you who he is ( and yes I expect that to be in the arms on another woman sharpish)