DP loves me but doesn't fancy me

[brokenheartedsad]

My long term partner has said he absolutely adores who I am, but no longer finds me sexually attractive. We are fairly young, no kids. He is unsure what to do and is suggesting we split up as he doesn't want to hurt me. Is there a way back from this? My heart is broken. He was/is my best friend.

Walk away
and find the men who do fancy you x
this will crush your self esteem badly
and unecesssariky

its shit and it hurts x

Nothing to do with your post, but I love the username!

Come to think of it, he has made comments about other women who are 'hotter', when we were abroad, there were very slim women by the beach, but I wouldn't have said they were any more attractive than me.

Were they a lot younger than you? Not being mean, honestly just wondering if your wankfest ex is one of those guys who hates women over 25. Were you dating Leonardo DiCaprio?

My looks haven’t changed, maybe slight weight gain but not much. I’m often approached by blokes. I’m told I’m very attractive. So no idea what’s changed.

Nothing has changed. I think he’s not being truthful. Maybe there is someone else. Maybe he’s realised you’re not compatible. Maybe he’s just got bored of the relationship or being in a relationship, it happens. He’s tried to pick one random thing to blame it on and for some bizarre and hurtful reason went for your physical appearance. That’s quite shitty. You can do better!

I'm sorry this has happened to you. I know a woman who's in a similar position with her partner. They have kids and he's been sleeping with another woman as he says he doesn't fancy my friend anymore and she bores him. He likes the stability though, so he will regularly leave the other woman for my friend. She will forgive anything and take him back at the click of his fingers. They're currently back together and she's desperate to hold onto him, so letting him do as he pleases. All the while her self esteem and happiness is slowly being destroyed. Don't be like this.

DoingJustFine No he is much older!

I've seen this with a friend OP.

Who's partner was also much older.

They go together when she was 18 and him in his 30s (grim)

Honestly I think the truth of their situation is he likes young women (grim) and so she got too old for him.

Good riddance. But feel sorry for the next young girl who falls for the older guy flattery.

Op, this happened to my previous partner and it did turn turn out she had someone else. Its very hard and I feel for you. You need to do what's best for you. I would be horribly hurt by such a comment.

In my case, my partner went back to his ex after her affair so things can get back to some sort of normal. I'm not saying it's the same for you but I just wanted to say that you might be able to salvage things even if you feel they may be broken

Is he in his early to mid 40's? as for some reason men start to go a bit funny round that age. They realise they are heading towards middle age, start to go bald/grey, get a bit of a belly and think they can still pull women in their 20's.

Sending you love OP. He's made his choice which is so.painful for you. But don't beg, don't ask questions. Tell him you accept his decision and ask him to leave. Heal yourself here and with your friends ✨️

Your self respect will soar xx

Ohnolookwhatthecatsdraggedin Yes he's in that age range. He has indeed developed a belly. He is very vain. Looks young for his age admittedly. So maybe he can still pull them.

I have just weighed myself. I have put on a lot weight actually. I didn't realise. No wonder he's gone off me. And I can't stop comfort eating!

Yes I will also say I would have put the ages of you both of early 20s.
But honesty , you sound like a strong person , and yes at the moment you can't turn off your love for him like a tap , but you will .
He sounds very immature , and like a bloke who is expecting perfection in a woman while being imperfect himself .
I predict you will find someone who will love you for just being you.
He will always be looking over his shoulder for the perfect woman until one day the perfect woman in his eyes wouldn't be interested because he is now an old man .
You've had a lucky escape.

You have dodged a bullet believe me! Unfortunately men who are very vain, tend to be quite insecure underneath, they will always be looking for something newer and shinier to come along.

It's always about their ego, the fact that he was mentioning other hot women to you, says a lot. He was trying to make you insecure as well and slowly chip away at your own self worth.

Please from someone who has been through this, send him on his way. It taken me the best part of nearly 2 years to get back to myself. Don't be like me, just block him - start getting on with your life.

I know you have lovely friends but do you have family nearby that can help as well? my sisters were amazing to me.

DoingJustFine No he is much older!

No - were the women younger than you? Not him. His age is irrelevant, sadly. He'll probably want 22 year olds till the day he dies.

Thank you, no I don’t really have anyone

DoingJustFine Yes a bit younger