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Original poster

How would you take this text?

60 replies

LonelyInAutumn · 14/07/2022 20:49

I matched with a guy on hinge a couple of days ago and we've been texting a bit. We live about 50 miles apart. He's asked when I'd want to meet up and he's asked me to come to his city. I've told him that I don't feel comfortable making the journey to meet someone I don't know but I'm happy to compromise and meet in the middle. He responded and said something along the lines of "let's text and facetime some more before we meet".

We were texting today and he asked (summarising) "when are we going to meet? Because I wouldn't drive to (the halfway point), maybe get a coach there I guess. I'm not going to meet multiple girls from different places as it's long, a waste of time and money".

I replied "As I said, I'm not too comfortable making a journey that far to see someone that I don't know and it would feel a bit one-sided. In the kindest way, if you think coming to (the halfway point) is worth the trip then great but, if you don't have any intention of coming then you need to let me know so that I can keep it stepping".

I've analysed his text as that he's saying he can't be bothered to meet (Instead of being direct) as he would have to come halfway, especially by his use of "I guess" and seem's like he'd want me to make the full journey. Am I over analysing? Was my reply appropriate?

OP posts:
IDreamOfTheMoors · 15/07/2022 01:37

Do you think he’s posting on “mansnet” getting other men’s opinions on you and whether or not you’re worth meeting half way?

I DOUBT IT.

Kick this jerk to the curb and off your phone.

LemonMuffins · 15/07/2022 01:41

You can safely throw this one back in.

ImpartialMongoose · 15/07/2022 05:06

Another possible reason why he doesn't want to drive and suggested the coach: because he wants to get drunk. Probably has an "unhealthy" relationship with booze.

RainbowForest · 15/07/2022 05:21

I seriously wouldn't bother with this one.

Summerslam · 15/07/2022 10:20

He wants you to make all the effort, then he will decide whether you're worth pursuing. Entitled tosser. Bin him.

Next!

SIUUU · 15/07/2022 10:35

I am from York and my now wife is from Newcastle. On our first date (off some dating app) I went up there, booked a hotel, and met her where she felt safe. Neither of us knew each other and it felt like the best option. I knew Newcastle pretty well as I had been there hundreds of times before to be fair.

Admittedly I did not tell her where I was staying in Newcastle (a man needs to be safe too and had things not worked out I could have just said thank you and left!) but the fact remained that I made sure she was in an area she knew well and was comfortable, as one can be on a first date!

What I want you to take from this is the following. If he does not care enough (or can't be bothered enough) about your safety, and won't travel 50miles, he is not worth your time or effort.

FYI date number two was in York and she went home the same day

trezzi · 15/07/2022 10:37

What a loser. The 'multiple girls' would be enough to put me off. Fair enough, that's what dating sites are for but he gives the impression he's meeting women left right and centre and expects them all to come to him like he's some sort of catch.

Selfish prick with zero respect for women.

trezzi · 15/07/2022 10:42

SIUUU · 15/07/2022 10:35

I am from York and my now wife is from Newcastle. On our first date (off some dating app) I went up there, booked a hotel, and met her where she felt safe. Neither of us knew each other and it felt like the best option. I knew Newcastle pretty well as I had been there hundreds of times before to be fair.

Admittedly I did not tell her where I was staying in Newcastle (a man needs to be safe too and had things not worked out I could have just said thank you and left!) but the fact remained that I made sure she was in an area she knew well and was comfortable, as one can be on a first date!

What I want you to take from this is the following. If he does not care enough (or can't be bothered enough) about your safety, and won't travel 50miles, he is not worth your time or effort.

FYI date number two was in York and she went home the same day

Ahh love this! Fellow Yorkie here too and had lovely relationship with someone from Newcastle and started out exactly the same (just the opposite way round - he came to York first). This brought back some lovely memories from some years ago - when dating was much simpler it seems!

Sunshineandflipflops · 15/07/2022 10:51

I'm not sure why people set their search radius so far if they then don't want to travel to meet? This applies to both of you.

I met my dp on line 3 years ago and he was an hour's drive away (about 30-ish miles). We met in the city between us (he got the train, I drove) for the first couple of dates and then I went to him.

I would say half way is a reasonable compromise but sounds like one he is not willing to make as he has plenty of other options so yeah, bin him off for someone who is excited to meet you.

SIUUU · 15/07/2022 11:29

trezzi · 15/07/2022 10:42

Ahh love this! Fellow Yorkie here too and had lovely relationship with someone from Newcastle and started out exactly the same (just the opposite way round - he came to York first). This brought back some lovely memories from some years ago - when dating was much simpler it seems!

Show quote history

This was back in 2016. I will never admit it, but I knew from the moment I met her that she was going to be the one.

Glad it brought back some happy memories. Don't know your situation now, but I do hope you are happy :)

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