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Original poster

Is this rude or am I being too picky?

96 replies

LBGTheoriginal · 10/07/2022 23:28

Been chatting to a guy for a while, like how he sounds etc, he’s now asked if I’m free for a drink. He is quite jokey so it might be that.

We live in a big city, about 20 mins walk from each other - but having met yet.

I work about 30 mins away, in the main city itself.

I have suggested a few more central pubs for us to meet as otherwise would have to trek home and he has suggested places that are very near him, let’s call the place he lives Village A.

the central pubs look better and more lively and are nearer my work. Plus I’d prefer to meet more centrally for a first date than to have to go near him tbh, not sure it sends the right message?

I sent him a few suggestions and said I’d let him mull over. His response was “literally couldn’t care less about going further than Village A really”.

wtf? It seems so low effort and rude tbh. Should I say something like lol that makes you sound like kind of a dick?

OP posts:
Original poster
LBGTheoriginal · 10/07/2022 23:28

Sorry so many typos. Should say “NOT having met yet”

OP posts:
SteveHarringtonsChestHair · 10/07/2022 23:30

Yeah he’s very low effort - doesn’t bode well. TBH with that attitude I’d say “good luck with finding the woman of your dreams in village A then. I’m casting my net a little wider!” And fuck him off. Lazy bastard.

Joopy · 10/07/2022 23:31

Could you suggest somewhere between your homes so you can both walk home?

Dic · 10/07/2022 23:31

I would just give him the thumbs up then block

pippinsleftleg · 10/07/2022 23:32

That would put me right off him.

Aquamarine1029 · 10/07/2022 23:33

NEXT.

avamiah · 10/07/2022 23:34

You should meet at a central location for both of you as in a area were it is busy and has a lot of bars, restaurants etc and after work when bars and restaurants are usually busy for a couple of hours.

PlaidBlanket · 10/07/2022 23:34

You’re not being in the least ‘picky’.

Discovereads · 10/07/2022 23:35

Perhaps it is a cost of living or environmental issue? As in why spend extra £ and/or CO2 going to a pub 30mins away by car/train when you can walk to a local one?

knackeredagain · 10/07/2022 23:37

Sod that. If he can’t be arsed to leave his village for a first date, what will he be like in five years?
He sounds lazy and/or boring, potentially arrogant too. What a turn off.

Original poster
LBGTheoriginal · 10/07/2022 23:37

For context we live in London and both live in south eg Clapham / Putney. I have suggested meeting somewhere central after work which he won’t entertain. Probs 30 mins on the tube. He wants to meet in Putney, where he lives, or nothing. I’ve never had this before 😂 it seems like he wants to meet near his flat, at a cheap pub, I buy the drinks, have some sex, jobs a good un.

im not opposed to buying my own drinks, none of that, but it seems incredibly low effort and shitty! He’s looking for a relationship as well not a shag

OP posts:
Flopisfatteningbingforchristmas · 10/07/2022 23:40

Move on. Next time don’t spend too long chat online.

avamiah · 10/07/2022 23:47

@LBGTheoriginal ,

I’m in central London and 3O mins on the tube is nothing at all to travel.
My daughter travels 24 mins on the tube to school and back again everyday with all her friends and it’s no time at all on the underground.

I think your right about him wanting to meet you at his local pub near his flat so just say No and BYE .lol

LoudingVoice · 10/07/2022 23:52

Nah that’d properly put me off too, rude, lazy and boring - he doesn’t even want to make an effort on a first date what would he be like further down the line?

Bin him right off.

ArtistViv · 10/07/2022 23:53

What a fine specimen. That would be a no from me. He's showing you very clearly already that it's all about him and what he wants!

Natty13 · 10/07/2022 23:54

"I'm looking for someone who is willing to leave their post code area, good luck meeting someone in Putney, all the best"

Supersimkin2 · 10/07/2022 23:55

No thanks. Clapham has brilliant bars, but not taking 15 min to get to Covt Garden or wherever you feel like is slothful.

SarahDippity · 10/07/2022 23:58

If he won’t compromise on meeting somewhere that’s mutually convenient for a first meeting, I wouldn’t bother more. Something bland like ‘I’m going to leave it. Hope you meet the girl for you.’ and exit graciously.

avamiah · 10/07/2022 23:59

Just curious why you mentioned buying the drinks?lol
Did he say something about who was paying for drinks?

Do let us know OP.

Mushroomlady · 11/07/2022 00:00

I would just meet locally if it was me. I don't see the big deal. Putney pubs will be nicer than central London which will be annoying and rammed.

MrsDamonSalvatore · 11/07/2022 00:34

Low effort and rude is spot on. What a complete arse. His attitude stinks and I can’t believe it would get better with time. I don’t think I’d even bother with a response other than ‘ok, let’s leave it then’ and then block/delete. Any more is a waste of your time.

Original poster
LBGTheoriginal · 11/07/2022 00:41

i said I took a friend out to a posh restaurant this evening and he asked when I was taking him. I said I would do it when we had been friends for 5 years and it was his bday so it was a high bar to reach. Asked him when he would take me. He then said that he it would be a while as he had been “suckered into paying for tinder dates before”. Wtf 😂 bitter

OP posts:
Fizzyfish · 11/07/2022 00:42

I'd reply that it makes him sound like he couldn't care less at all and see his response 🙄 this one sure knows how to romance the ladies eh

KosherDill · 11/07/2022 00:43

SteveHarringtonsChestHair · 10/07/2022 23:30

Yeah he’s very low effort - doesn’t bode well. TBH with that attitude I’d say “good luck with finding the woman of your dreams in village A then. I’m casting my net a little wider!” And fuck him off. Lazy bastard.

This. What a lazy git.
And that's putting forward his best self?
Imagine after six months or years.

Bin.

dreamingbohemian · 11/07/2022 00:50

I mean it often is nicer meeting outside central London, not in pubs full of tourists where it's 7 quid a pint, but it's so massively lazy to not be willing to leave Putney, I mean come on. Bin him.