Is this rude or am I being too picky?

[LBGTheoriginal]

Been chatting to a guy for a while, like how he sounds etc, he’s now asked if I’m free for a drink. He is quite jokey so it might be that.

We live in a big city, about 20 mins walk from each other - but having met yet.

I work about 30 mins away, in the main city itself.

I have suggested a few more central pubs for us to meet as otherwise would have to trek home and he has suggested places that are very near him, let’s call the place he lives Village A.

the central pubs look better and more lively and are nearer my work. Plus I’d prefer to meet more centrally for a first date than to have to go near him tbh, not sure it sends the right message?

I sent him a few suggestions and said I’d let him mull over. His response was “literally couldn’t care less about going further than Village A really”.

wtf? It seems so low effort and rude tbh. Should I say something like lol that makes you sound like kind of a dick?

This.

🙄 Just stop texting him!

This is him on his best behaviour 😁

Op he is a toad. He is quite a poor toad too. There are lots of them. Some even pay for first dates.

There are good men out there. Don't settle for something less.

Definitely stop texting him, in case you change your mind and meet him. Stop wasting your time with him- he won’t give you anything you need/want.

Boring and tight. Bin him

Bloody hell

This is him on his best behaviour

YUK

I sent him a few suggestions and said I’d let him mull over. His response was “literally couldn’t care less about going further than Village A really”.

wtf? It seems so low effort and rude tbh. Should I say something like lol that makes you sound like kind of a dick?

Ooh I used to react like this "he sounds like he's rude", "he sounds like he's lazy", "he sounds like he's not interested" etc.

Always replace "sounds like" with "is" when saying.

I was 31 when I started doing this. A few years on, in a healthy loving relationship and TTC.

Wish I had made that shift in thinking much earlier on!

Oh and YES to this.

How people are when dating is what they THINK is attractive to women when dating.

If it isn't attractive to you, they aren't a good fit for you.

That could be anything, from being a dickhead to being someone who makes grand romantic gestures earlier - some women like it, some don't.

If you don't, you're not a good match.

There's no a wrong or right when it comes to compatibility.

Do not tie yourself up in knots wondering if their behaviour is acceptable in principle. There's no arbitrary set of rules.

If it's not acceptable to you, it's not a good fit.

Loads of my friends have boyfriends who are nice but wouldn't be a good fit for me. My male friends are lovely and I adore them but wouldn't be interested in non platonic relationships with them. My partner wouldn't be of romantic interest to my friends or his female friends. You can't force compatibility.

If you only take one rule from this, don't date people if you have the slightest inkling early on that they might be a dickhead 😉

There are many, many unpleasant frogs in OLD. You’re young OP. But don’t waste more than 5 minutes on the many creeps and wasters on there. “Antennae up” for time wasters with those with issues. Before you get dragged into any s*. Move on fast. Onwards and upwards. Also and find more enjoyable things to do in your spare time just for yourself.

Op dating is fucking miserable. So far this week the 3 guys I've exchanged numbers have requested pictures of my boobs and one has sent me a wank video. It makes me feel sick so I'm stepping away from it for a little while. This guy though poor you, his lazy low effort is ick inducing isn't it. But if he's had as shit a time as me I can understand him being jaded and fed up of it all. But that doesn't mean he should be such a lazy idiot.

also OP - worth remembering, even 10 minutes entertaining an idiot is 10 minutes not spent finding someone you like or on yourself. Don’t waste any time on the idiots. Smile, and move on quick as soon as there is an inkling of idiocy.

IntheSameBoat, the man who sent you a video should be reported to police and prosecuted - I don’t know if that’s a thing one can do for this kind of behaviour. Shocking.

I think you also have to be pretty ruthless as there are so many idiots and time wasters. Maybe give them up to 3-5 messages to show some genuine interest (assuming they don’t do anything outrageous or disappear), then “review”?!

Agree with the 3 to 5 messages tops.
spending weeks months chatting to someone is a waste of time.

And the neggy "jokes" really aren't jokes. They're meant to take a crack at your self-esteem and test how much shit you'll put up with.

The first neggy selfish thing, block and delete.
There's never any reason for you to have to tolerate or give the benefit of the doubt to any man, especially a complete stranger

dick is high supply and low value.

Raise your bar way up and be a bit difficult.

If he can't meet you half way on a date. It's unlikely that he will meet you half way in a relationship.
Cant remember who said it, but think it's quite accurate.
Bin him off.

What a colossal twat. You deserve far better, @LBGTheoriginal

Don't meet him he cba making any effort for you

Tight git and won't even make an effort. Don't waste anymore time on him as he also sounds jadded and cynical. You can do better. If he is like that now at the start when you should be excited about meeting someone what would he be like in the future. Move on from him as he is a miserable old boring sod.

I would have said agreed let’s not bother and blocked when he first said he couldn’t be bothered to leave his own area.

Absolutely not.
No one is handsome enough to get away with being that rude.
Please don't go.

He's boring, selfish and tight.
It's simple, don't lower yourself.