Most men give me the ick!

[Ceriane]

Can anyone else relate or is it just me?

At the moment, other than my sons and my brothers, the only guys I think are great are a gay man and another man who is a great father and they are both environmental activists.

It is really hard to find men that are as great as women. Caring, hands on, responsible, empathetic, compassionate, interesting, loyal, fun, not entitled, not immature, jugglers. Most men simply cannot juggle home and work. Or don’t want to.

I also find their need for frequent sex at odds with their sexual prowess. If they want frequent sex they should be much better at it. The reason why many women go off sex after a while is a combination of not finding a man child attractive and that many men don’t know how to please a woman in bed. I just think if it is that important to them then research and try different things. All the info is out there.

I am only attracted to men but once the initial rush of love has gone and I see their flaws, I can’t be bothered. They always disappoint. I’m glad that it has taken the menopause to realise this because otherwise I wouldn’t have had my amazing kids.

Another one here totally unfussed about men. They are very overrated

I dont think I was very attractive in my 20s. I've sort of blossomed in my early 30s. I wear skirts now. I'm more confident..lost weight. I do get more attention now than I've ever got.. but the men that I attract always seem to put me off within 5 minutes of talking.

One told me last week he was a criminal before he had his daughter. Said he couldn't put his surname on Facebook for people find out where he is.

Then one called me babes in every sentence I can't stand that.

One was too lovely and I did fancy him 12 years ago but he's aged badly. The attraction has gone.

I just seem to find the desperate ones or the dodgy ones. But not an average one.

Its hilarious to even type it. But I want someone like my dad. Not literally hahaha. But my dad's loyal to my mum. He doesn't mess about. He is brilliant at d.i.y and gardening. That's the sort of personality I want. Men now all seem to smoke weed aswel.

I don't know. Yes men give me the ick. Plus they put me off with their constant liking every woman's photo on Facebook.

I also find their need for frequent sex at odds with their sexual prowess. If they want frequent sex they should be much better at it.

That would be great, yes.

Men are getting worse because they have been given access to online dating and social media. They think they are gods now sat there looking at woman after woman. Ghosting one because someone said something abit more exciting. I've seen men in their late 40s ageing badly following 300 women young enough to be their daughters on Facebook. Many are desperately trying to get with younger "hotter" women and are not even focused on the qualities of a human being. Shallow thinking. But men now probably can't even register when someone is filtered or wearing stage makeup in their profile photo. They are focused purely on one thing.

I don't mean all men with this statement either. But I've seen it with my friends online dating etc. Nobody is getting appreciated now!

Disclaimer - I haven't actually watched this

This video was suggested to me because, although I don't date, I am having some issues with a couple of men I work with. I'm not going to wade through it to resolve work stuff but it occurred to me that people here might find it interesting.

I agree. It makes them think they have the pick of the bunch.

I wonder how long it takes for 45 year old Dave, overweight and a bit unkempt with 3 kids in tow, to realise the hot 25 year olds he's after just aren't interested. 1 year, 2 years? I think that's when they start to write angry things on their profiles, like "If I message you, I expect a message back. What's wrong with the women on here?". Nothing wrong with the hot 25 year old girls, Dave, it's just that they're the ones with the pick of the bunch and they are picking guys their own age.

I was at a party last week lots of muddled aged people. One married man asked a friend to meet up 1-2-1. Another married man followed a single woman on OD.

If they are happy to do that in a fairly small social circle what are they doing further afield?

muddled 😂 middle!

If I message you, I expect a message back. What's wrong with the women on here?

This! The entitlement of some men on dating sites! I have been scolded for not replying. I don't know you mate, and I owe you nothing!

And also, YY to the overweight middle aged men thinking they are going to find lots of women online wanting to have sex with them. Has it not even occurred to them that if they are seeking a sex arrangement they need to work a bit harder on their aesthetic sex appeal?

If you think there is no difference in how men (as a population) treat women, and how women (as a population) treat men, then you really have not being paying attention.

You also must never read the news or crime statistics.

@FortonServices I wonder how long it takes for 45 year old Dave, overweight and a bit unkempt with 3 kids in tow, to realise the hot 25 year olds he's after just aren't interested

They probably don't, because a lot of them know that 25 years aren't going to be sexually attracted to them in the first place. Instead, the emotionally invest in the idea that young women are looking for an older provider, that his attractiveness increases with age because he's a man, and that women aren't so focused on looks anyway. They may have heard of a friend-of-a-friend who has nice a young girlfriend, and it matters not to those men if that young woman is vulerable or has Daddy issues. As far as they're concerned, they have lovely arm candy.

I remember when telephone dating was a thing. And a 48 year old man contacted 35 year old me.

He was totally and utterly taken aback when l implied he was too old for me!

@EarthSight

In my experience the hot 25 year olds are only attracted to older men if the older man is attractive and has kept himself in shape AND is pretty wealthy. Most men on OLD aren't either of these things and therefore have no hope of pulling the hot 25 year old that they want to pull. They don't seem to grasp that the hot 25 year old female is the decision maker in this and that the hot 25 year old has many better options than the 45 year old, unattractive man with baggage.

I did have an older man in my last relationship by 14 years. He had a good head of hair and slim and toned. I thought he was 42 so was abit shocked when he said 47. It turned out he was an emotionally unavailable man Child with addiction history. Cheating history etc. I foolishly thought he'd be a breath of fresh air. Lol.
He had me on his arm and was still looking at and checking out women in their 30s 40s and 50s. Cropped hair and wrinkled. Long hair and blonde. Tanned and chunky. Skinny and dark. I was up against all women and it was the worst relationship I've ever had.

Yes, the 25 year olds are dating men their own age to late 20s. The late 30s/40s man, I agree, would have to be in great shape physically and well off.

Though, casting my mind back, I remember the deluded, pest, older men who would approach my friends and I when we were in our 30s. Seems things haven't changed that much. We never found it flattering, and at best it was annoying.

When we were in our 20s not 30s!

Can't imagine women following aload of young lads though. I'd feel a right weirdo doing that. They have midlife crises I think. I remember my ex showing a screenshot he'd sent to someone saying it was hard work having a 32 year old all over him. I thought I'm a grown woman not a toy.

In what way?

Thanks all. So glad it’s not just me who feels this way. Most of the men on OLD give me the ick especially the self entitled ones who write angry profiles about women not replying. I just don’t get why all the pressure I get from people to hurry up and find myself one!!’ I think I just need to care less what other people say.

I have 3 adult male Millennials. They just aren’t like their older counterparts. They want relationships not just shags. They are equal with everything including childcare and housework. All their friends are the same. Some of the entitlement is gone.

We always found it hilarious when older men approached us. Asking them why they through we’d go out with them!

ArseInTheCoOpWindow most younger men have always been like this in my experience. it changes as they get older.

It sounds like you don't even want a relationship. Neither did I. People seemed to bang on about it till I turned 40. It was extremely annoying and I lost touch with some superficial contacts because of it.

Somehow, seeing me turn 40, going on a carefree holiday with my bestie, nothing to interfere with my freedom - except work of course - made a lot of people shut up. I was excited to turn 40 as I had a lot of troubles before that were massively improved by then. (Sadly within a couple of years the elderly folks problem kicked in). And I could see the fruits of major life decisions - like being single and free.

Honestly, if it's about societal expectation, please let that go.

Thank you. I’m open to a relationship if I happened to meet someone genuinely lovely and I fell head over heels for in real life, but don’t want to trawl through OLD sites or force myself to be with someone I don’t want or date a load of people and potentially put myself in danger just to shut people up. I have a lot of health issues at the moment so not really up to dating or prioritising meeting a load of men just cos of social pressure. Health issues aside, I’m happy as I am. Most people accept it but there are one or two people in my life that seem to want to constantly bring it up and go on at me about it. If it wasn’t for that kind of pressure I wouldn’t bother looking at all. I have no intention of settling for someone just to shut people up.