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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How important is someone's voice and accent when it comes to attraction?

117 replies

JuicyMelonss · 07/07/2022 10:57

Could or have you been attracted to someone despite not liking their accent or voice initially?
Have you fallen for someone purely by ears?

A man's voice and accent is a deal breaker to me so I'm curious to see if other women share my view.

OP posts:
tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz · 07/07/2022 11:05

Absolutely it can ... DH has a lovely low gruff voice.

The only lovely voice I'd leave him for is Pierre from Spiral Grin

tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz · 07/07/2022 11:05

Great username btw!

KirstenBlest · 07/07/2022 11:10

They are two different things. You can change an accent, but not your voice.
An ex used to say and write 'could of', 'brought' instead of 'bought' etc and it gave me the ick.

zafferana · 07/07/2022 11:10

I'm with you OP. I sometimes hear people's voices and think 'OMG imagine having to listen to that every day!' and I know I couldn't.

Others I just can't understand a word they say - Geordies, for instance. If ever Jordan Henderson is asked for his opinion of a football match it's like he's speaking another language. Mind you, DH says he couldn't understand a word I said for the first six months of our relationship, so it worked for him!

BiscoffSundae · 07/07/2022 11:13

I agree with you some accents totally put me off a person

Abhannmor · 07/07/2022 11:15

Its all very subjective? And it changes. I used to hate Brum but it sort of grew on me.

I like Geordie on a woman.

MiniTheMinx · 07/07/2022 11:19

Northern Irish accent, mmmm, I could listen to Gerry Adams all day.

arethereanyleftatall · 07/07/2022 11:19

I feel exactly the same as you. Very important to me. This is where OLD is so difficult. A snap shot for me is hardly anything in the scheme of things. I've had some technically very good looking guys be very surprised when I haven't been interested. And vice versa.

ComtesseDeSpair · 07/07/2022 11:21

DP’s accent took me off guard when we first met. He’s from the US and my main exposure to US accents had mainly been through media - where accents are predominantly West or East coast - friends in NYC, and stereotyped representations of “Southern.” DP is from inner Detroit and has exactly the same tone, cadence, pitch, inflections, nasality (and, alas, volume) as Eminem. It’s uncanny how similar they sound.

After the initial “woah” reaction, I’ve actually done to really like it. It suits him and the person he is. I just wish sometimes that God had fitted him with a volume control switch.

Fairislefandango · 07/07/2022 11:21

I could see myself being put off straight away by an unusually jarring or irritating voice or speaking style. I wouldn't make it a priority one way or another otherwise though - I'm fine with regional accents and although I would notice a particularly nice voice, it wouldn't be a priority in a potential partner for me. Very unimportant compared with other traits imo.

TreePoser · 07/07/2022 11:21

Depends, sometimes i like a bad accent on somebody i love.

AryaStarkWolf · 07/07/2022 11:45

I've never been turned off someone purely because of their voice but I suppose I possibly could be?

dudsville · 07/07/2022 11:51

Well I just watched a clip from an interview with the guy who played elvis in the recent film and suddenly I'm thinking an awful lot about that guy. I'm not normally attracted to men a lot younger than me but it was very much based on his voice. I've never dated a man with a high voice or who didn't sound intelligent, but I know my notion of what sounds intelligent is not the same as some, as mine includes this actor who played elvis and doesn't inlcude toffs.

frozendaisy · 07/07/2022 11:55

Not too of the list but some voices you can't live with.

HaggisBurger · 07/07/2022 11:56

Quite shallow but I was initially a little put off by my bf’s accent (south east England with a hint of estuary) as I’m quite fond of a posh accent. But he has a nice voice and I’ve grown to like his accent and how he calls his brother “bruv” on the phone 😂
but there are some I just couldn’t get beyond - a certain type of scouse accent (not all) and strong Brum.

TheCanyon · 07/07/2022 11:57

A high pitches voice, no I couldn't. There's absolutely accents I couldn't cope with either and would be an instant turn off. I couldn't do a Scouse accent as much as I couldn't do an aberdonian.

JuicyMelonss · 07/07/2022 12:08

I had a crush on a man from his tweets, thought he was handsome and witty. Heard his voice and oh my God the spell was broken! It wasn't a bad voice or a particularly jarring accent it just didn't sound quite right to my ears. By contrast I had a huge crush on a man that was always in face mask and baggy uniform and it was because of his voice.

I suppose you can grow to like their voice and accent with time.

I mentioned the importance of voice and accent to me in front of some guys and why like you @arethereanyleftatall OLD wouldn't work for me because of this and they looked at me like I had 2 heads and completely shallow. Perhaps for men this is less important? I think there is a saying that men fall in love with their eyes and women with their ears or something of that sort.

@tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz haha thanks!

@ComtesseDeSpair I think I'd have had the same reaction! I'm now imagining Eminem's voice 😆

OP posts:
BackToTheTop · 07/07/2022 12:14

I don't think it would ever put me off, although a strong Bristolian accent might just do it.

It can however turn me on. A good gruff northern accent, maybe Yorkshire or Scottish could do it for me Blush

HundredMilesAnHour · 07/07/2022 12:16

Absolute dealbreaker for me. The pitch & tone of the voice, the accent (if it's strong), the volume (I can't stand loud people) and fundamental grammar mistakes (as per a PP)...all dealbreakers. It might not be fair or rational but they all give me the biggest ick ever.

youlightupmyday · 07/07/2022 12:33

Voice and accent is all important to me: deep and a strong accent. I have never dated someone with the same accent as me

Inthesameboatatmo · 07/07/2022 14:20

I once exchanged numbers with a guy who was absolutely gorgeous! As soon as I spoke to him on the phone he sounded like grandad from only fools and horses . I honestly couldn't get passed it . So yes someone's voice can and does give me the ick.

goldfinchonthelawn · 07/07/2022 14:25

It's so important to me. A friend was married to a good man who had the ugliest voice I've ever heard - sort of high and squeaky but also grating so he sounded irritated even when he wasn't. I could barely stand having them over for drinks because his voice got on my nerves so much. But I could see, objectively, that he was a good man.

DH's voice on the other hand, still makes me swoon after nearly 30 years. He has a beautiful voice.

Glitterspy · 07/07/2022 14:27

No! Look at David Beckham. All good til he opens his mouth and then…just no. High voice and dreadful accent and just sounds so, so thick, although I’m sure he’s not really. Right turn-off.

hattie43 · 07/07/2022 14:29

It's very important . You have to listen to it a lot .

Aquamarine1029 · 07/07/2022 14:33

Very, very important to me. A man with a higher pitched voice is an instant turn off. My husband has a gorgeous, smooth deep voice that still does it for me after 25+ years.