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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How important is someone's voice and accent when it comes to attraction?

117 replies

JuicyMelonss · 07/07/2022 10:57

Could or have you been attracted to someone despite not liking their accent or voice initially?
Have you fallen for someone purely by ears?

A man's voice and accent is a deal breaker to me so I'm curious to see if other women share my view.

OP posts:
Pegasushaswings · 07/07/2022 21:47

Wouldloveanother · 07/07/2022 15:46

I couldn’t fancy Joe Swash put it that way

You’re so right, he has the worst accent and voice ever! Just so annoying! I know I’m in the minority here but Irish and Scottish accents irritate me unless they are very soft, as do very posh accents. I do like a confidently spoken voice though over particular accents.

Derrymum123 · 07/07/2022 21:52

Scouse accents and Birmingham ones. So very sexy.

loadedfries · 07/07/2022 22:06

Not if you sound like Huw Exwards @PotteringPondering!

PotteringPondering · 07/07/2022 22:12

loadedfries · 07/07/2022 22:06

Not if you sound like Huw Exwards @PotteringPondering!

Ha ha, nope. Bit younger and a different accent.

LooseGoose22 · 07/07/2022 22:43

Puffalicious · 07/07/2022 14:55

It TOTALLY affects how attracted to someone I am. There are some regional accents I just couldn't thole. I'm Scottish (West coast) and many East Coast accents would drive me insane. Posh of any sort is an instant turn off.

An ex bf was Mancunian- an accent I like v much- but certain dialect drove me mad, particularly "poorly': it was so whiny, and after a while the fact that he took forever to get a sentence out drove mad (I do speak very quickly, it's a regional thing). Similarly ex DP was Aussie. He had a lovely voice, but when I lived over there it bore me down and to this day most Aussie accents I find really, really irritating, particularly those who try to be posh, it's so obvious.

Look at me, all judgy! I don't mean to be.

Northern Irish makes me want to remove my underwear, particularly a deep, Belfast voice. DH is aware of this and tries to keep me away from Irishmen in general 😂 (He is local to me and I do love his voice- it's deep).

Noooo! Belfast accent has to be one of the worst NI accents.

😁

LooseGoose22 · 07/07/2022 22:47

"She's over thur, yeah over thur, sittin on that chur, the one with the long hur"

Uuughh.

Xtraincome · 07/07/2022 22:47

Give me a man with a regional accent from across the UK any day of the week. A BBC voice is a turnoff to me. My DH is proper West Londoner with a thick cockney accent. From Black Country to Barnsley, I love accents 😍

Now, an irritating voice is a whole other thing regardless of accent.

hotcoldnotsold · 08/07/2022 01:40

Oh falling for a voice and accent is a thing!

I once went on an OLD date with a gorgeous man but he opened his mouth and had a weird nasally voice that was so off putting I couldn't fancy him. Similarly met an absolutely beautiful man with an awful accent that ended it for me.

I love a Yorkshire accent and have been known to fancy very average looking men who spout their nowts and ayes. Similarly a Scottish accent. My ex had a very deep voice and the minute he opened his mouth I knew i was going to sleep with him, ha.

TomPinch · 08/07/2022 02:27

Marineboy67 · 07/07/2022 20:20

I have quite a distinct Bristol accent that tends to decend in to full on Wurzel mode after a few pints. I don't think it's ever been a hindrance during my extended time doing O.L.D. My ex wife's family were fairly middle class, University educated and all spoke very eloquently and I'm sure they're they thought I was pretty thick. Unfortunately that's one of the sad things about coloquial accents, you tend to be classified the moment you open your mouth. I like a west country or Welsh accent personally . That said it's nice to hear all regional accents. I don't think it's the accent that's the problem it's more about the intellectual and characteristic content of a person that makes them attractive.

Wurzel? Cut-Throat Jake surely as you're a marine boy 😇

Siameasy · 08/07/2022 06:58

Deal breaker and can elevate a man from a 5 to a 7.
I had to book my car in for something and the man on the phone’s voice was SMOKIN HOT. DH was meant to be collecting the car but I made a point of going. However, I could never track down sexy voice man!

AtomicBlondeRose · 08/07/2022 07:08

You do get used to it though - I’ve worked with a couple of men with “odd” voices - the pitch or the croakiness more than the accent. And the first time you hear it you’re like “woah, can everyone else hear this?” but after a couple of days you don’t notice at all. So it’s definitely a factor but I think one a lot of people could overcome.

thenewduchessoflapland · 08/07/2022 07:54

It's not important to me although if the voice was really high pitched and squeaky I don't know if I could have lived with that.

I use to work with someone who had the loveliest voice;lots of people loved it but the face and the voice didn't marry up.He was sweet but very geeky.

JuicyMelonss · 08/07/2022 10:08

Thank you everyone for replying I have read all your comments even if I haven't tagged you with a personal reply. I feel 'normal' and not so shallow now that most of you confirmed it's an important factor.

@BackToTheTop See I always liked Josie Gibson's Bristolian accent but I remember on Celebrity Dinner Date there were unfavourable comments about her strong accent. Your description of a gruff Yorkshire accent makes me think of Clive Owen the farmer of Yorkshire farm. I do like his voice and accent.

@HundredMilesAnHour Yeah I hadn't mentioned it in my op but certain grammatical mistakes do give me the ick .. even though my English is far from perfect! It's 'we / you was' for me!

@Inthesameboatatmo 😂at grandad from fools and horses! Yep, it certainly can be a huge shock and turn off when the voice doesn't match the face

@goldfinchonthelawn Yes I knew a few people like that and it's really not their fault but it does make me want to move away from earshot whenever they speak. Some voices are almost painful to hear or make me irrationally angry.

@Glitterspy Yeah, I never fancied David Beckham and I think it's his voice now that you mentioned it.

@Circumferences I loved your comment! 'Profound effect' is exactly how I feel about voices and accents and attraction. I hear you on 'posh but not oo posh' accent. It's all very subtle and different to us what makes a voice and accent attractive.. almost like the type of faces or body shapes we fancy.

@Puffalicious You and several posters have said this about NI Belfast accent. It has zero effect on me. Like you, I do find most Australian accents quite grating (sorry to any Aussies here!)

@Wouldloveanother Oh God yes! I feel the same way about Joe Swash and Stacey Solomon who I find really funny but I can't stand either their voices.

@Babdoc Your DH's voice sounds amazing. Dr Spock does have a good voice! I had to go to YouTube and listen to it :)

@feellikeanalien Si King is absolutely lovely but I really dislike his voice and accent (apologies to anyone from his region or with his accent). I don't think Geordie comes up that often as one of the sexiest accents.. it's usually French, Irish and German as the top ones from my anecdotal 'research'

@Marineboy67 See I reckon men care less about voices and accents than women in that they would look past it if everything else was great and wouldn't look past physical attraction even if her voice and accent were amazing. Unfortunately it is definitely a thing being judged for your intelligence by your accent.

@TheVolturi Guy Martin's voice is sexy. He speaks confidently but there is modesty and slight coyness. It's manly and unique... and those sideburns (swoon!).

@Shitscared123 Ah I didn't know that about Hinge! Very useful feature indeed with the voice notes!

@hotcoldnotsold Yeah a Yorkshire accent sounds comforting to my ears and I've never even been there and have no connections to Yorkshire I just like how it rolls. It sounds honest and unpretentious, take-me-as-I-am to my ears. Does that make sense? I can get turned on by the right voice and accent so I know what you mean about 'knowing that you're going to sleep with him'. When I hear a man with a hot voice and accent I imagine what he would sound like in sex.

@TheBigPeach It's funny you say about looking up to see whose voice and accent that is because I have done this and have had this done to me when I spoke up and I always feel like oh no are they disappointed, does my face not match up? haha. I'm from London and I really dislike cockney accent so it makes me smile that you describe it as gorgeous!

@PotteringPondering I have definitely listened just for the voice and switched off because of the voice or accent! :) It must be amusing getting recognised when you speak up.

@LooseGoose22 Yeah an Irish (and French) accent never really been my thing in men because I find the way the R's are pronounced a bit feminine. I like a gruffly manly voice and I suppose what could be described as harsher accents, Russian, German, Yorkshire, some Scottish...

@Xtraincome You really like ALL regional accents? I do like hearing different accents because it's interesting but I wouldn't (personally) be attracted to them all and I'm sure likewise some wouldn't like mine!

@Siameasy You naughty minx! Haha I'd probably do the same because curiosity! What made his voice sexy? What was it about it? I think I read on MN a post where they knew they'd marry this person purely from hearing their voice on the phone. Insane what the right voice and accent can do to us, isn't it?

@AtomicBlondeRose You definitely can train yourself to get used to it but I think it's more about coping with it than growing to like it. Well, for me anyway as I have had to work closely with someone who had an astonishingly loud voice, poor chap. I don't think he had a hearing issue which would have been understandable of course because the loudness was only at certain parts of a sentence or conversation.

@thenewduchessoflapland Yeah that's an insecurity of mine that my face possibly doesn't reflect I'd have such a soft voice but I think it's harder for men to have a voice so different to their physical image.

OP posts:
LadyEloise1 · 08/07/2022 10:29

Voice and accent were important to me back when i was dating.
I once fell for a guy because of how he spoke.
I was getting a lift from my friend's boyfriend. Friend and I sat in the back. Friend's bf's friend sat in the passenger seat. It was dark so I couldn't see his face properly. But oh his voice ......
We did date for a wee while......

He dumped me.

There are loads of different accents in Ireland. Some lovely, some awful.

TitInATrance · 08/07/2022 10:39

In my twenties I had a manager who had a gorgeous, deep, sexy voice and a slow way of speaking. All of us in the same office knew he was fiftyish, fat and deeply chauvinistic but visitors couldn’t wait to meet him.

I don’t mind any accent that I can understand, but I don’t like men’s voices that are too high and whiny, too camp, or sound callous and dismissive - it’s pitch and tone for me.

My favourite is the strong Cornish accent I grew up with. As everyone in my childhood spoke it, it doesn’t sound uneducated to me.

Youcunnyfunt · 08/07/2022 10:47

100%. Voice and accent is a massive part of attraction. There’s lots of goodlooking people I wouldn’t touch because their voice is not my cup of tea.
I like some regional accents. Irish, South Welsh, etc. But no high tones, lisps, nasal tones… I don’t care if it’s shallow, it’s what I have to listen to!
I love my boyfriend’s voice. It’s deep and slightly gravelly.

tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz · 08/07/2022 10:47

As an aside OP you're very lovely replying to individuals as much as that ... proper nice manners that Grin

You'll be exhausted soon mind!

NeedToKnow101 · 08/07/2022 10:53

Voice yes, accent not so much as I generally love accents whatever they are. Some voices I find extremely off-putting.

Youcunnyfunt · 08/07/2022 11:00

Also, contrary to what others are posting, I do like someone well spoken! I like slightly posh accents (not plummy). Which is quite normal for my area, depending on the families (RP, Queen’s English).

Youcunnyfunt · 08/07/2022 11:04

I met the most gorgeous man in a pub once, absolutely stunning. He opened his mouth, and honestly - it was like a balloon had popped for me. Instant turn off!

We also had a sexy sales man at my old work, who we’d all fight to chat to over the phone. Went on for months until he finally popped into the office for a visit - he was 5 foot nothing, fat and balding - but had the sexiest voice, deep and smooth and he was a real charmer with it! With the lights off, I still would 🤣

Kanojo · 08/07/2022 11:04

I don’t know that, once I’ve got to know someone, an accent or voice has ever really put me off. I’ve never done online dating, or blind dates or anything, so as my DH and previous LTRs have been someone I’ve got to know first, I’ve grown to like how they sound as I got to know them. I imagine it’d be the same with accents I find a bit irritating in casual acquaintances…if I got to know them more they wouldn’t bother me.

The only really big issue would be the odd tone of voice one of DH’s friends has. He’s not particularly quiet but to my ears everything he says kind of blends in to background noise and I struggle to understand him. No strong accent or anything, just a really bland tone. I’ve met other people who sound similar to my ears and I feel like I’m being rude asking them to repeat stuff all the time.

Hopingforabagofbuttons · 08/07/2022 12:20

Yes accents can be off putting . I like very specific accents South London, Northern Ireland accents are gorgeous, but brum, Yorkshire, Scottish, Welsh, or posh accent would def put me off. I think the way someone sounds to me personally is as important as the way they look, as in initial attraction.

CousinKrispy · 08/07/2022 12:28

I didn't like my DP's voice/accent that much the first time I heard them. Now I'm perfectly happy with them.

Elvira2000 · 08/07/2022 12:29

Initial attraction - yes. But for long-term - no. After a while I don't hear the voice, only the words if you get what I mean.

mewkins · 08/07/2022 12:34

I prefer a regional accent to standard posh voice. I like a bit of character. I don't know how I sound to people and whether it's off putting.

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