Can anyone help me with this issue? I can't stop thinking about women

[mosesb]

Hello, name changed for this. I'm in a relationship, we've been together 22 years. He is a lovely man. We have regular sex, he wants it more than I do but I do have a healthy sex drive.

The problem is that when I have sex with him I'm thinking about someone I have a crush on, who is a woman. When I masturbate (most days!) I watch only lesbian porn, I can't watch straight porn because it doesn't turn me on. I only started watching porn a couple of years ago.

I had a crush on another woman last year and obsessively thought about her.

It's actually really annoying. I don't want to split with my lovely man. He is a good dad and I can see us together when we are old. But how can I stop all this fantasising about women?

Don't worry, women who are open minded about their sexuality wouldn't want to be with you anyway. We don't like being judged by men with fragile egos.

Have you heard of bisexuals……

Then don't date someone who
Is bi-sexual/curious.
It's literally that easy

Lambsauce stop making this about you. The op has come here for support and you are derailing the thread.

I’m gay and I don’t think you’re straight, watching only lesbian porn yeah I understand why straight women would do that, but having intense crushes on women, fantasising about women when you have sex with your partner, not being able to orgasm from your partner etc. I don’t think that’s “normal” for heterosexual women, I think at the very least you’re bisexual.

You’re disgusting.

You wanting to use women just for sex and as “baby making machines” is absolutely vile. No wonder why women aren’t attracted to you.

Absolutely repulsive.

Good luck with that 😂😂😂

But do yourself a favour, take a break from the incel forums. They're not doing you any favours.

@Lambsauce302 I love the male body. only trouble is most are fat, slobby and out of shape these days. total turn off if they're way too skinny also. can't beat a nice fit hunky man who looks after himself. anyway why are so many men on mumsnet these days??

I pressed send too soon, but wanted to say I think trying to stop yourself thinking about women when you’re clearly attracted to women is useless and is just going to make you miserable. I think you need to decide are you happy to never experience women sexually/romantically for the rest of your life to be with your partner or is it something you can’t live without trying. If you experience being with a woman you may find you massively prefer it to being with men, or you may find you prefer men and it didn’t live up to your expectations, but you need to decide whether it’s something you absolutely need to try or can make peace with never experiencing for the sake of your relationship.

Who gives you the right to tell women how to define their own sexuality?

What I find really sexy in a bloke is a basic level of literacy…

@Lambsauce302 I don't think its your body that's the problem

We (straight) aren’t more turned on by women in porn physically. We are turned on by the pleasure. As women know what women like. Women are softer. Know how the clit feels, so know how to work it.

We don’t want gay (men) porn because it’s just dick. We don’t have dicks. So we don’t know how dicks feel whilst they’re being pleasured. We can’t relate to it. We can, however, relate to clits and vaginas being pleasured.

Now, don’t ever dare try and tell women who we SHOULD feel. How we SHOULD identify sexually. What porn we SHOULD watch.

You vile pathetic excuse of a “man”.

Oh hi 👋

Lesbian here who sometimes watches both heterosexual porn and also gay porn 🙃 but I have absolutely zero interest in being with a man. The idea repulses me 😂

Proper lesbian porn is 100% the best though.

It's like reading the incel playbook....it's pathetic.

Oh and the irony of claiming women just use men when you declared your intention to use women just minutes ago.

Men like YOU are the reason that if I were to ever find myself single I wouldn't enter into a relationship with a man again.
You're just not worth the effort.

@Lambsauce302 As a totally straight woman I can completely understand why you are having no luck with woman and they are not turned on by you as you sound like a right arsehole. think any woman would run a mile, change your attitude and women will find you much more attractive.

I am a lesbian and while I don’t watch porn anymore I have occasionally watched gay male porn and heterosexual porn, I have zero interest in men though and do not and have never fantasised about them. I think people are focussing on the porn too much when for me the more important aspects are the crushes on women and fantasising about women while having sex with your partner, which is what leads me to believe OP probably isn’t straight.

I personally believe sexuality and sexual expression are complex and a spectrum, I have dated women who are bisexual, but have a strong preference for men, I’ve dated bisexual women who prefer women, but for lifestyle and social reasons settle down with men, I’ve also met a lot of bisexual women who will never allow themselves to experience being with a woman for a variety of reasons, some make peace with that decision, others find it very difficult.

Hey, please dm me.thanks x