Can anyone help me with this issue? I can't stop thinking about women

[mosesb]

Hello, name changed for this. I'm in a relationship, we've been together 22 years. He is a lovely man. We have regular sex, he wants it more than I do but I do have a healthy sex drive.

The problem is that when I have sex with him I'm thinking about someone I have a crush on, who is a woman. When I masturbate (most days!) I watch only lesbian porn, I can't watch straight porn because it doesn't turn me on. I only started watching porn a couple of years ago.

I had a crush on another woman last year and obsessively thought about her.

It's actually really annoying. I don't want to split with my lovely man. He is a good dad and I can see us together when we are old. But how can I stop all this fantasising about women?

‘Why do you not watch straight porn or men?’

I don’t watch it because it’s shit.

@Lambsauce302 If your sexually turned on by womens bodies but not mens then Your a lesbian. Why do you not watch straight porn or men?

Just gonna jump in here, I (a straight woman) only watch lesbian porn due to the reasons I quoted above. Heterosexual porn focuses on male pleasure, and women as objects. Whereas lesbian porn, focuses on pleasuring the women. Lots of clit activity. It’s totally normal. So please don’t try and tell women about their sexualities which you don’t understand.

OP, it’s very likely you wouldn’t like the reality of being in a relationship with a woman. It’s totally different to being in a relationship with a man. I think you need to ease off on the porn right now, just pause and think. Talk openly with your partner, as bottling up your feelings will just make you feel worse and more confused.

You are giving off very incel behaviour here. This thread probably isn’t for you. You’re not going to give the OP any helpful advice here.

What an incredibly simplistic way of looking at this. You're commenting on something you know nothing about I'm afraid..... do you often tell women how they should be interpreting their own feelings?

I consider myself straight but a little bi-curious. I don't watch 'straight porn' because it's shit.

Honestly, I don't feel like dating anymore because it seems like most women are bisexual these days and are more sexually turned on by women than men.

Maybe you want to reflect on why that might be ?? 🤔

No, I don’t. The pleasure that the women receive is what turns me on, personally. Pleasure from a woman is more softer. Heterosexual porn is far too rough. Women are often degraded.

Again, you are giving off major incel vibes. If you are uncomfortable dating straight women who enjoy lesbian porn, then congratulations, you don’t have to. I’m sure there is a woman out there for you.

You're not gay OP.
You fantasise about women because you know what you'd like done to you , you know the feeling and you like the control. Men and male porn is rough and quick , women it's different. I do the same OP but I know I wouldn't want a relationship with a woman because I prefer being with my partner. I saw a book about this once but can't remember the name but it's very normal!

Are you really telling women what type of porn they should be watching?

@Lambsauce302 But we're not talking about me. Porn is made for men, it's often rough and little regard is given to the woman's pleasure. So often in porn the men treat the clit so roughly, it makes me wince... smacking it is common. Which does nothing.

Women can watch lesbian porn and not be a lesbian, because it's just a much nicer thing to watch, and to imagine the pleasure. Doesn't mean they want to get into bed with a woman.

You don't understand it, which is fine, so move along.

Not talking about MEN not me!

You really have no idea.

You also have a really childish and toxic viewpoint on porn. Go away and educate yourself.

If we put aside the distinctly unhelpful misogyny from the cheap seats, I would agree with others who say that it may be less to do with your sexuality and more to do with the tendency of heterosexual porn to be pretty rough and degrading to women.

Yep, total incel.

This!!! Exactly this , thank you
But what a surprise guys we have a MAN commenting on a woman's body and how she should feel again 🙂

Your masculinity must be very fragile to feel threatened by a woman watching lesbian porn. Sexuality isn’t black and white, it can be complex and on a sliding scale. Unlike you, who sounds like a biphobic simpleton.

And that's a problem because??

You claimed that women watching lesbian porn must be lesbian themselves, it's been explained to you that isn't necessarily the case.

Being bi - sexual is not the same as being a lesbian.

Lots of women prefer lesbian porn because they just do. They're allowed to have that preference.

I doubt many women are queuing up to be with you hun. I don’t think you need to worry

Well as a man I don't want to be with a woman who is more turned on by the female body than male body, I want to be sexually desired and sexualized.

Have you fucking heard yourself? How fragile is your ego? And how simple are you that you can't comprehend that someone might find their male partner sexually attractive BUT also find other people sexually attractive too.
I do find women attractive but that doesn't mean I don't also find my husband incredibly desirable too.

Honestly, I wish that I was gay/bisexual cause it seems like the only demographic who are into the male body is gay/bi men. I've even heard "straight" women say that the male body is ugly, that women are more sexier, that women turn them on more etc.

I do think woman's bodies are generally more attractive than the male body. There's a reason women don't like dick pics. They're not particularly nice to look at!

Lol maybe I should start HRT and grow a pair of tits so that women find me sexy
Something tells me it's not necessarily your physical appearance that's putting off women.

I like watching lesbian porn or acts being done on women much more than normal porn with lots of male attention. I think that’s pretty normal.

Having a crush on another women less so, but I would question if you are likely them for a specific reason. I.e do you actually fancy them physically or is it s personality trait or behaviour you like better.

straight woman here lesbian porn does absolutely nothing for me, not that I watch much porn not watched it in years to be honest but if it doesn't involve a penis then I'm not interested. I'm actually quite repulsed by womens vulvas even though I have one myself! I think I'd be gay if I was a man!
It sounds to me as though you may be gay could you spend the rest of your life hiding and denying these feelings? As lovely as your dh is it sounds as though you are bored with him.