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Original poster

Would you let a new man buy you a house?

130 replies

Boxjumpers918 · 27/06/2022 08:50

My sister is in a new relationship. He's a wealthy man, no kids. She has 2 DC and is living in a housing association property. They've been together about 8 months. She spends 99% of her time at his house, as do her DC.

He's asked her to move in with her, as an insurance he's going to buy her a house to rent out. If things don't work out she's got a property to move into, fully paid for, in her name.

She's very excited about the whole thing. I'm not sure what to make of it. Any thoughts?

OP posts:
Original poster
Boxjumpers918 · 27/06/2022 11:29

Thankyou for all the replies. I feel a bit sick now others have confirmed my worries. Ultimately there's absolutely nothing I can do, just be there for my Niece's and keep our relationship strong. I do have a difficult relationship with my Sister she's done many things in the past that have hurt others. She has never put the DC first. This just feels like another mess she's getting caught up in. It's exhausting. Our parents are very worried.

OP posts:
MzHz · 27/06/2022 11:32

Boxjumpers918 · 27/06/2022 08:55

I dont know how I feel about it or him. It just seems too good to be true. I worry about the kids as well, it's all just so fast. Nice to hear replies saying its a good thing. I mean, it's better than her just moving in and losing her home. It's just all so fast.

It’s also better than her moving in with him, it not working out and she finds a way to take his house off him.

if it’s in her name, outright and no mortgage, and if the rent the property achieves benefits their household day to day, it’s a valid investment

my oh was looking at similar, but property round here is too expensive for it to really make it work, plus it’s hassle.

Foreheadwoes · 27/06/2022 11:34

Sounds like he's got cash he needs shifting....

MzHz · 27/06/2022 11:35

have they been on holidays together etc? That’s a good preparation as you get to see them in different situations

it can work. I’d advise she take time to really get to know him and keep an open mind and make sure she’s got all bases covered, just in case.

Simonjt · 27/06/2022 11:38

I would wonder what the catch is, would this then lead to “but I bought you a house” if she says no to anything.

Even I think 8 months is early to move with children, more so as its the children moving, and I say that as someone who moved their partner in after a year.

Shitscared123 · 27/06/2022 11:50

Hard to say without knowing more about this chap - maybe his intentions are sincere (we don’t know).

First thoughts:
Massive power imbalance
He’d always have a hold on her in some way
8 months - way too soon
Would it be a cash or mortgage purchase? She needs to check her liability if the latter.
Presumably, banks and solicitors will look into the source of money for money laundering purposes?
Is he hiding his money or is your sis providing anything in return?

Naunet · 27/06/2022 11:51

easyday · 27/06/2022 10:52

I met my husband, we got engaged six weeks later and I moved in about six months after that to a rented flat (his wife had his old house) then we bought a house together (I paid the deposit, he took out and paid the mortgage, we owned it jointly). We married as soon as his divorce was final (he had been separated for nine months and divorce proceedings well under way when I met him). He earned 20x what I did.
By many peoples take on here he was love bombing and out for something.... what? Me. We were happy had two kids when sadly he passed away. Not every man is a con artist.

Of course, but a woman, especially a woman with kids, needs to consider the worst rather than just cross her fingers and hope for the best.

Parsleys · 27/06/2022 11:54

Not read full thread but no, no way after 8 months. My mother did something similar and he was a crazy control freak.

larkstar · 27/06/2022 11:55

Come on - use your common sense - this doesn't happen.

knittingaddict · 27/06/2022 11:55

No I wouldn't because it sounds too good to be true and there will be a catch.

dworky · 27/06/2022 12:12

No, definitely not. There's always a pay-off.

bluebell34567 · 27/06/2022 12:16

icelollycraving · 27/06/2022 08:52

Personally if something looks good to be true, it generally is.

agree.

KatherineJaneway · 27/06/2022 12:20

Boxjumpers918 · 27/06/2022 08:58

I just wonder why someone would buy someone a house after 8 months together. Are there really people out there who are that generous. He's wealthy but not millionaire wealthy. I just wonder about the power balance.

Money laundering, hiding assets

bluebell34567 · 27/06/2022 12:21

Ragwort · 27/06/2022 08:59

Why is she even considering moving her DC in with a man she has only known for eight months? Sounds very dodgy. It might be 'true love' Hmm but presumably a very wealthy man won't have difficulty meeting single women without DC ....so why is so keen on her and her DC moving in?

agree.

Eddiesferret · 27/06/2022 12:27

I wonder how many of the 'definitely nots' live in rented accommodation.

I lost my home in a divorce ten years ago and have rented ever since. The rent takes nearly half of my salary. Is FAR more than a mortgage but I can never get another mortgage because I can't save a deposit due to high rent..

I HATE renting. Your house is never your own. Despite having fabulous landlady next door... so considering all of that AND ...

Not giving up tenancy until house is purchased in MY NAME solely..

Why the hell would I turn that down. ?
I would feel not one iota of guilt if this relationship broke down as it's been purchased as compensation for giving up her tenancy and giving living together a go..

Some people on MN either have hugely comfortable lives and feel the need to make sure others less fortunate don't grab what good luck is on offer for spurious and unknown 'worries' .

The OP has not actually mentioned a single 'bad' thing about this man. All negative comments are from posters who don't know him or her and are just filling the OP with anecdotes from their own different experiences but not actually THIS one.

My mums cousin had this offer made to her more than 30 years ago. Relationship lasted less than 2 years but she is still in the house. The lack of worry about keeping a roof over her kids heads made a huge and positive effect on her and her childrens lives .

Whilst the naysayers will say 'if something looks to good to be true - it probably is t .. I would say ..

Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.!

Marineboy67 · 27/06/2022 12:30

There is a 7 year inheritance tax rule that would apply to the property. If the original purchaser that gifted the property to your sister dies within 7 years of the property transfer your sister would be liable to pay inheritance tax up to 40% of the overall property value. It comes down in value by 7 proportionate amounts over 7 years after which the property would be solely hers. There may also be issues with selling the property within the 7 year threshold.

Xanthe68 · 27/06/2022 12:38

Like others, I just don't think it will happen. She'll move in then the house purchase will suddenly fall through, then it won't be the right time, then his money will be tied up in something else etc etc. Either he's deliberately deceiving her or he's just a vague "pie in the sky" type- either way, she needs to be on her guard.

I also think 8 months is far too soon to be moving DC in with a new man, and that doesn't change just because she might make a few quid out of it. It's all so odd and extreme. Is your sister vulnerable at all? (Beyond the inherent vulnerability of being a single mum in a HA property).

Clymene · 27/06/2022 12:47

Eddiesferret · 27/06/2022 12:27

I wonder how many of the 'definitely nots' live in rented accommodation.

I lost my home in a divorce ten years ago and have rented ever since. The rent takes nearly half of my salary. Is FAR more than a mortgage but I can never get another mortgage because I can't save a deposit due to high rent..

I HATE renting. Your house is never your own. Despite having fabulous landlady next door... so considering all of that AND ...

Not giving up tenancy until house is purchased in MY NAME solely..

Why the hell would I turn that down. ?
I would feel not one iota of guilt if this relationship broke down as it's been purchased as compensation for giving up her tenancy and giving living together a go..

Some people on MN either have hugely comfortable lives and feel the need to make sure others less fortunate don't grab what good luck is on offer for spurious and unknown 'worries' .

The OP has not actually mentioned a single 'bad' thing about this man. All negative comments are from posters who don't know him or her and are just filling the OP with anecdotes from their own different experiences but not actually THIS one.

My mums cousin had this offer made to her more than 30 years ago. Relationship lasted less than 2 years but she is still in the house. The lack of worry about keeping a roof over her kids heads made a huge and positive effect on her and her childrens lives .

Whilst the naysayers will say 'if something looks to good to be true - it probably is t .. I would say ..

Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.!

She's not renting privately. Massive difference.

madasawethen · 27/06/2022 12:57

I get the feeling your DSis has form for getting involved with bad relationships. Where did they meet?

She'd be an outright fool to give up her secure HA home.

If he's Mr. Money bags, what has he gotten for her of any value in the past 8 months? He surely can afford to buy her a brand new car or some really nice things for the kids. Lessons? Activities?

Why doesn't she invest in her education and get a good paying job? That is also something he could easily pay for. Much easier than a house.

Parsleys · 27/06/2022 12:58

I’d rather rent privately forever than be in the hands of a control freak or manipulator thanks.

B0ssAssB1tch · 27/06/2022 13:50

My first thought was money laundering. How bad are her boundaries that she thinks this is fine whatever is going on?!

DomPerignon12 · 28/06/2022 08:21

Eddiesferret · 27/06/2022 12:27

I wonder how many of the 'definitely nots' live in rented accommodation.

I lost my home in a divorce ten years ago and have rented ever since. The rent takes nearly half of my salary. Is FAR more than a mortgage but I can never get another mortgage because I can't save a deposit due to high rent..

I HATE renting. Your house is never your own. Despite having fabulous landlady next door... so considering all of that AND ...

Not giving up tenancy until house is purchased in MY NAME solely..

Why the hell would I turn that down. ?
I would feel not one iota of guilt if this relationship broke down as it's been purchased as compensation for giving up her tenancy and giving living together a go..

Some people on MN either have hugely comfortable lives and feel the need to make sure others less fortunate don't grab what good luck is on offer for spurious and unknown 'worries' .

The OP has not actually mentioned a single 'bad' thing about this man. All negative comments are from posters who don't know him or her and are just filling the OP with anecdotes from their own different experiences but not actually THIS one.

My mums cousin had this offer made to her more than 30 years ago. Relationship lasted less than 2 years but she is still in the house. The lack of worry about keeping a roof over her kids heads made a huge and positive effect on her and her childrens lives .

Whilst the naysayers will say 'if something looks to good to be true - it probably is t .. I would say ..

Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.!

Quite a few people have opined that it’s fine, as long as it’s all above board.
If he paid for her solicitor and handed her the keys before she moved in, sure.

But he hasn’t actually bought the house yet, has he?

Also if you haven’t seen the landlords selling up thread it’s about to become a lot more expensive to rent a house out… is he going to help pay for those costs too?

Money laundering isn’t an unknown worry and she could very well not only lose the house but also gain a criminal record if the house if implicated.

SVRT19674 · 28/06/2022 09:22

No, no chance. And I rent, before anyone says I must be a comfortable zillionaire.
What does he do for a living OP?
What is the source of his wealth?
Even though he might not be a criminal himself, he could be involved in money laundering the proceeds of criminals. That the house is in her name is irrelevant and could actually count against her, because, who is going to believe she thought it was a gift?
This would make me distrust him in general actually. No man would think this a sound move, even less a businessman, so where´s the catch. She needs to get to know him much much much more. She would be mad to give up her independence at this moment.

Tinkerbell1281 · 28/06/2022 09:44

easyday · 27/06/2022 10:52

I met my husband, we got engaged six weeks later and I moved in about six months after that to a rented flat (his wife had his old house) then we bought a house together (I paid the deposit, he took out and paid the mortgage, we owned it jointly). We married as soon as his divorce was final (he had been separated for nine months and divorce proceedings well under way when I met him). He earned 20x what I did.
By many peoples take on here he was love bombing and out for something.... what? Me. We were happy had two kids when sadly he passed away. Not every man is a con artist.

Similar to me. Agreed!

Midlifemusings · 28/06/2022 10:00

I am surprised so many of you would buy a new guy you were dating a house after 8 months if you had the money.

I would not do this and wouldn't not think it a good idea.

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