Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Original poster

Would you let a new man buy you a house?

130 replies

Boxjumpers918 · 27/06/2022 08:50

My sister is in a new relationship. He's a wealthy man, no kids. She has 2 DC and is living in a housing association property. They've been together about 8 months. She spends 99% of her time at his house, as do her DC.

He's asked her to move in with her, as an insurance he's going to buy her a house to rent out. If things don't work out she's got a property to move into, fully paid for, in her name.

She's very excited about the whole thing. I'm not sure what to make of it. Any thoughts?

OP posts:

LindaEllen · 27/06/2022 09:52

As long as I could check it out and the paperwork/legal stuff was all in place then yes, absolutely, if someone wants to buy me a house they can feel free!

maddy68 · 27/06/2022 09:53

He would be a fool to do that unless it's in his name. And it's just saving her the rent in which case that's ok (unless the relationship doesn't last and then that leads to complication)

ILoveAllRainbowsx · 27/06/2022 09:57

Yes, as she is giving up her HA property.

If it is in her name then it works out well for both of them as she won't stay there just because she has nowhere else to go.

Unless there is something she doesn't know about him eg he has got his funds illegally, then I can't see a problem.

FishcakesWithTooMuchCoriander · 27/06/2022 09:58

Villagewaspbyke · 27/06/2022 09:49

Sounds like a story spun to get her to move in with him. Then the purchase of her property will be put off for various reasons, then he will guilt her saying “why does she want the property, doesn’t she love him” etc. Then she’s trapped.

Indeed it does.

AgentJohnson · 27/06/2022 09:58

He isn’t buying her house, he’s fast tracking a false sense of security. There will be strings, just because she currently can’t/ won’t see them, doesn’t mean they aren’t there.

I feel sorry for her kids who are caught up in their mother’s myopathy.

achara · 27/06/2022 10:01

Also there will probably be tax implications. She will definitely need to get legal advice.
I would be concerned though, it's too soon.

HaveringWavering · 27/06/2022 10:03

You say “He’s wealthy but not millionaire wealthy”.

Unless you live in a part of the country where a house for 3 people can be bought for under 50k, there is no way that someone with less than a million in disposable assets can just buy a house to give away permanently to a girlfriend of less than a year.

Something is dodgy. Money laundering? Tax evasion?

In theory she could get legal advice and make sure that the purchase/gift was watertight and gave him no claim in the property, but I think that any decent solicitor would have doubts about the arrangement.

Midlifemusings · 27/06/2022 10:03

Hell to the no.

Never. Nor would I buy a man I was dating for 8 months a house.

Why would anyone buy a house for someone they had dated for 8 months. Massive red flags on both sides - that she would want that and that he would do it.

OldFan · 27/06/2022 10:03

I wouldn't believe him and it'd make me mistrust him in general.

Him wanting them to move in so quickly is also not normal, nor is using financial promises to get her to do it before she's ready.

Neverendingdust · 27/06/2022 10:04

Can you vaguely describe what he does to enable this generosity?

bumpytrumpy · 27/06/2022 10:07

Villagewaspbyke · 27/06/2022 09:49

This. Red flags all over the show.

fyn · 27/06/2022 10:07

Even without considering that it’s probably money laundering, with the new rental laws coming in, she wouldn’t simply be able to move into the house if they broke up. If she wanted to evict to move in herself, she’d have had to live at the house for two years before letting it out. She might have a house but would be homeless still and wouldn’t qualify for benefits because she had a house that was rented out.

OompaLoompaa · 27/06/2022 10:08

If it’s not a scam or money laundering then yes.

CallOnMe · 27/06/2022 10:08

Personally if something looks good to be true, it generally is.

I was going to say no as I agree with what the PP said - if it looks too good to be true then it usually is.
I also shudder when I hear about someone moving their DCs into the home of someone they’ve only known a few months. She must have introduced them pretty quickly!

I don’t believe he’s going to buy her a house.
I would tell her this too but I wonder if he did actually say that or if she’s saying that to you so you don’t worry.
I would also warn her that getting back on the housing list is difficult.

But reading your OP I have changed my mind and she doesn’t have much to lose.
She can share all of the bills so she’ll have more spare money and if they spend all of their time there anyway then it’s not a massive leap to move in together.

Does she have a nice home now?
Do you think he’s thinking about buying the HA house?
If so this would make me slightly concerned - is he thinking they can rent that out so he gets the money from it.

Pinkdelight3 · 27/06/2022 10:09

In this circumstance, hell no. She shouldn't be moving in so soon with 2 DC to consider. The fact he's so hellbent on something that's not good for the DC says it all for me about his priorities. If he's serious about their long-term prospects, why the rush and the hard sell with the housing? She's well set-up with the HA and has her independence. Slow down and take time to find out who he really is. Impossible to tell after 8 months and way too late when she's moved in and gets stuck. The house purchase is a distraction from the main issue really. I'd take it with a pinch of salt as it's very, very, very unlikely to actually come to pass.

FemmeNatal · 27/06/2022 10:11

Boxjumpers918 · 27/06/2022 08:58

I just wonder why someone would buy someone a house after 8 months together. Are there really people out there who are that generous. He's wealthy but not millionaire wealthy. I just wonder about the power balance.

If he’s not a multi-millionaire then there seems to be something very strange going on here. Even someone worth several million pounds is unlikely to view spending hundreds of thousands on a gift for a girlfriend as sensible.

A Tiffany silver necklace, a nice holiday, or posh meals out are the sort of thing a demonstrative “not millionaire” would be buying, not a house.

madasawethen · 27/06/2022 10:17

She needs to watch the Tinder Swindler.
She also needs to do a proper background check on him.

He isn't going to buy her anything.
It's all the just talk for love bombing or a scam.

CupidStunt22 · 27/06/2022 10:18

I'd let anyone buy me a house.

007DoubleOSeven · 27/06/2022 10:22

Is he going to buy her the house and ensure it's legally hers before she gives up her HA home and moves in with him?

Lacedwithgrace · 27/06/2022 10:24

Yes. I've been in a similar situation and had a back up plan in case things went wrong. What's the worst that can happen? As long as she's involved in the process all the way through she should be safe

Toughtimesagain · 27/06/2022 10:24

Hell, no! So many red flags. Is he actually going to? And how will that affect the balance of power in their relationship.

CallOnMe · 27/06/2022 10:25

She needs to watch the Tinder Swindler.
She also needs to do a proper background check on him.

He isn't going to buy her anything.
It's all the just talk for love bombing or a scam.

I agree.

5128gap · 27/06/2022 10:26

No. I wouldn't want to be beholden to a man. Too few understand the difference between buying things for you and buying you.
If he's genuine I'd feel guilty keeping the house if I ended the relationship.

Dirtylittleroses · 27/06/2022 10:27

She needs to check it’s fully in her name. No caveats, and if it is, then yes of course I’d accept a house.

Hallyup89 · 27/06/2022 10:29

Will the house being in her name and rented out make her the landlord and responsible for everything?

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6