DP Draft email to tigerkat6969

[InSearchOfSmth87]

Found an empty draft email to the above email address in husbands phone. Should I be worried?
This can’t be a work colleagues or a friends email...? no other history found.
And no I can’t ask him about It because he just lies because is a porn and sex addict with a history of tendency to message women/sex workers.. But I was hoping he has put it behind him.
Am I overreacting?

I think you know the answer, don’t you? Whatever you hoped, it’s not behind him. No more chances.

I mean yeh with that history and finding that on the phone I'd be concerned and suspicious. Anything in the sent folder? It might be nothing but then I've never had a draft email to a name like that in my emails because I can't see how that would happen, I bet you haven't either. It's shit that you can't trust him, he sounds so stressful to be with.

I think this kind of draft email can appear when you type in an address, but then just close the email and it saves into the draft folder (his using yahoo email)

Given he has form, I'd be extremely suspicious.

I am out of ideas but have a bad feeling, it’s been going on for 6,5 years and now we have an additional 1 year old to our 6.5 year old. Plus if we break up I would have to move back to my home country which is fine but kids will be missing their dad.
I have left him twice already, due to sexting and contacting escorts. But he just won’t stop I am afraid and I am most afraid that he will sooner or later meet up with them (which has been just a fantasy so far). I am so at loss

I just need to know the truth and I feel like that is all I can think about. He just lies and lies and tells me half truths, never the whole truth that’s what it always feels like.
I am 12 weeks pregnant but having to most likely terminate due to all kinds of chromosomal and physical risks. So I am really at a mental breaking point.

And no I can’t ask him about It because he just lies because is a porn and sex addict with a history of tendency to message women/sex workers..

Why on earth are you with this prince among men?! A man who lies, messages other women and pays to use women's bodies is a lowlife creep, full stop, whatever crap he feeds you about having changed. I can't imagine why you trusted him after all that. You don't need to hang around until know 'the truth'. Dump his sorry arse!

He just lies and lies and tells me half truths, never the whole truth

That on its own is plenty of reason to nrver have anything to do with him ever again!

The fact he uses yahoo as well 😂

Could you Google the email address it might come up with something if attached to a business or social media?

I would be suspicious,you deserve better x

I am most afraid that he will sooner or later meet up with them (which has been just a fantasy so far).

Please don't tell me you believe this?!?!?!

This is what ALL MEN SAY when they've been caught messaging escorts, 'it's just a fantasy, I never acted on it.'

It's bullshit. He's definitely met up with them.

Send an email out, just change it to gmail, outlook, yahoo etc all on the same email and the correct one will hopefully reply to you. Then you can find out who it is

If it wasn't for the history I'd say could well be innocent, as he could have accidentally clicked on reply on a spam email without realising and that would save it to his drafts . I've often found draft emails which are blank replies to something I hadn't been going to reply to on my emails and assume that's what happened- I'm pretty clumsy on my phone so easy to press the wrong thing.

However, taken with the other info it begins to look like too much of a coincidence.

I've got drafts saved that go back years so it might not be recent. Having said that everything else you've said about him makes me want to tell you to run very far and very fast!

That looks like a username for somewhere. I think we can all guess that a username like that likely isn't someone he was messaging on a gardening forum.

Sounds like he clicked on the username which had a 'mailto' link attached to it, but without a full email address which would have resulted in an email draft being automatically created. This would explain why there is no message text and its still in drafts.

Why are you still with him? Set you bar higher.

How are you even having sex with him, let alone adding more children to the mess.
He is putting you at physical health risk too, and that of your children. I hope you have regular STI and smear checks given what he's up to - after 6.5 years, it will be more than just online.
At the very least make him use condoms, but really, I couldn't touch a creep like that once I knew.

thanks for all the replies, it would be great to hear from someone who have has experiences with husband/partner contacting women online for the purpose of wanking off, do web cam sessions, sign up to hookup/dating sites and adultwork (although I can’t find the last site online anymore) ? And how that all ended...

Going back to the draft, it was indeed dated very recent, and with a full email address as [email protected]
I have emailed “her” but of course no reply.

It is easy to say to just leave him. But if there are kids abs two countries involved it’s not that easy. I don’t even know if I can take the kids... :(

I have stayed with him for so long (although actually left twice but always came back as my son needs a relationship with his dad) because I have always felt that if he hasn’t actually physically cheated I shouldn’t make such a big deal out of it 😢 which is mostly my mums influence as she was a single mum and does not want the same faith for me ..:( I am really at life cross roads at the moment and would so need some similar experiences.. thanks

although actually left twice but always came back as my son needs a relationship with his dad

He can still have a relationship with his dad without you being in a relationship with him.

And if he doesn't maintain a relationship with his son because you break up with him, then he's not a decent enough dad to be bothered about tbh.

Your mum doesn't want the same path for you but you don't need to take the same path. She was an unhappy single mum who obviously felt unsupported.

You can be a happy, mentally healthy single mum after leaving an incredibly unhealthy relationship. You can be a single mum who hasn't been repeatedly disrespected, hurt and devastated by the same man.

THAT is how you break the cycle. It's not about whether parents are single / together. It's about whether or not individual parents are happy, stable and modelling healthy behaviour.

Neither of you are doing this as long as the relationship continues.

And I'm so sorry but if he's been doing this for so long, I would literally bet my home on the fact he has physically cheated on you at best a handful of times but most likely many times.

You need a plan to leave the relationship so you can prioritise your kids. And in the meantime double up on contraception as it would be unfair to bring another child into this dynamic.

Your son doesn't need a relationship with a man like that though, he needs a good role model whether it be male or female.
Kids learn everything from their parents so I'd be very wary what he is picking up from his dad.

100% He won't change.

Maybe Citizens Advice would be able to advise on getting away from him for good.

You already know the truth.
You don't need any further proof.
The trust has gone.
Don't drag this out and leave yourself scrabbling round on the floor for the remains of your self respect.

Thanks for the replies @ wellhelloitsme, CameraCoffeeCrochet, TossieFleacake you are very correct, I can now see that this whole relationship and marriage has been based on a lie. A lie he told me to get me to marry him, to buy a house, to have another child.
And I don’t need further proof. I said yesterday that he has been to his usual sites hasn’t he. And he was quiet. I said so it’s the usual drill right? He was quiet. Later when I asked what sites or apps is he now using, he backtracked and lied he hasn’t been on any.

No contraception needed, I barely stand to be in the same room as him.

I will think calmly of the next steps I need to take which will be best for myself and the kids, I have to smart in this as there are different countries involved

I think you know the answer. He didn't change and you are not happy.

Your kids can still have a relationship with their father without you living with him.

I would start looking into moving back to your country (if that's what you want).

You don't have to move back to your country if that's not what you want. The UK should give you leave to remain on the basis of you having British kids who will be seeing their British dad.